


It's Going To Be A Dark Summer

by Woduz



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Anxiety, Bad Jokes, Eventual Happy Ending, Eventual Smut, Failed Missile Launch, Family Issues, Family Secrets, Highkey Anxiety, Hurt/Comfort, I promise, I promise there will be smut, I'm Bad At Tagging, Little Bit Of Explicit Content, Little bit of smut, M/M, Mild Gore, Near Death, Ongoing Plot, Original Character(s), Past Abuse, Poor yurio, Rip Russia, Sadness, Sexual Abuse, Shitty Government People, Some Humor, There will be a happy ending, Trust me on that one, Victor's Parents Are Assholes, Victor's Past Revealed, What Was I Thinking?, Yikes, Young Victor Nikiforov, angstangstangstangst, radiation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-30
Updated: 2017-04-18
Packaged: 2018-09-20 19:46:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 58,907
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9510182
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Woduz/pseuds/Woduz
Summary: A year after Yuuri won gold, the couple were in plans for their wedding, when the disappearance of Makkachin disturbed them both.What they didn't see coming was the whole of Russia to be in destruct, due to a failed missile launch, leaving the golden trio to reunite, surviving against the nuclear summer and dark pasts, with threatening lies.The Sky so Heavy AU





	1. Is it possible?

**Author's Note:**

> Howdy hey, I'm starting this new fic because it will be a roller coaster of emotions and because I live for the angst. WHy.  
> I promise it will end ok, there's no bad ending here. I couldn't do that to them, they're too precious.
> 
> There have been some small modifications in this compared to the novel, only because it leaves you guys with more angst and suffering, so enjoy:)!

The slam of a car door awoke Yuuri Katsuki from his nap. He stretched out his free arm - that wasn’t trapped down beside the sofa - and reached for his glasses, raising his body to his knees.

The apartment he shared with his fiance grew a lot colder than it had been a few hours ago. Yuuri cupped his small hands to his mouth and let out a few breaths, warming himself up.

Yuuri was by the fireplace, keeping watch of the flames as they attempted to stay alight as Viktor Nikiforov stormed through the front door.  
“H-Hey, anything?” He asked calmly, the man had a writhed shadow hovering him.

“No, nothing. Nothing at all.” The Russian said as he slid off his coat. “It’s a little cold in here, could you turn up the heat a little.”

“Yeah, I’m trying. Sorry, I fell asleep.” Yuuri explained, flashing a smile as his partner.

Viktor laughed, a faint laugh, but thankfully he was still laughing. Felt like the only decent laugh Yuuri had heard within the past few days. Viktor's voice broke through his thoughts as he stood close. “It’s fine, I figured you could use some sleep, after all, you stayed up half the night looking on Facebook.” There was a glisten in Viktor’s eyes, like a meaning of thank you without having being said.

“Would you like a coffee?”

“Yes please.” Yuuri answered, and eased himself up from the fireplace, which the flames were finally eating at the wood.

It had been four days since Makkachin’s official disappearance. One Tuesday morning, Yuuri had awoken to his partner stressed and on the verge of crying, every door and cupboard was ajar throughout the warm, cosy apartment they shared. Yuuri had pleaded for his beloved to sit down and be at ease, but he refused, looking every day, anywhere and everywhere he could think of his pooch would be. Yuuri, himself had been digging through the internet for if anyone had picked up a giant stray ball of curls. But nothing was found.

Yuuri had noticed a couple of other dogs were reported missing too, but considering he had searched under the tag ‘missing dogs’, it wasn’t surprising how many people were too, looking for their companions.

………

It had been two days since their last search for Makkachin, and Yuuri had managed to force Viktor to rest a while. Viktor had agreed, only to the fact; he knew he was exhausted and was dreading to face another day where he wouldn’t find his dog. And there was the slightest hope that maybe, just maybe, if they stopped looking, Makkachin would find his way home by himself.

“So, where did you look the other day?” Yuuri comforted his partner placing his hand on Viktor’s thigh as they sat on the sofa, beside the heat of the fire.

Viktor placed his hand on top of Yuuri’s and squeezed it gently, “I first went to the three closet vets, then walked through the local parks, then asked some of the barista’s who work at that cafe we normally visit with him, then I drove to the start of where we usually walk him daily and walked through there. I don’t, I don’t get it Yuuri.”

A tear fell onto the Russian's hand, it stung Yuuri’s heart seeing Viktor cry. He had only witnessed it a couple times, heard him a lot, but every time in front of his eyes, he seems to be just as surprised as the first time he saw him cry in Barcelona, the night before his second GPF. Using his free hand, he brushed the man's fringe aside and tucked it behind his ear, gently brushing his thumb under Viktor’s eye, wiping the tears away.  
“Listen, I’m sure he’s out there. We’ll find him. Have you tried the pound?” Yuuri removed his hand as Viktor shook his head.

“No, it’s on the other side of town, I hadn’t gone that fair yet. Can we go?”

Yuuri raised himself from the sofa, turning to his fiance offering both hands, willing to supporting him from slouching on the sofa, “I’ll drive.”

………

Yuuri pulled up out front of the pound and put the car in park. He turned the ignition off and took out the key sliding it in the pocket of his coat. He glanced over to his right, staring at Viktor fiddling with his thumbs. It hurt seeing his friend and his love like this, he knew Viktor’s pain would reflect on him but not this much, this hurts, and its tiring.

“Viktor, we’ll find Makkachin, okay?” Yuuri said, he slid his hand over the sorrowed man's and rubbed his thumb across his palm, showing his support.

Viktor was able to break a smile, a fragile but appreciative one. “Okay.”

They entered the pound and continuous sounds of cold howls and lonely barks echoed from behind a pair of doors at the back of the room.

Yuuri made his way towards the front desk, only to stop when he could no longer hear footsteps following behind. He flicked his head and Viktor was pale-faced, stuck, still standing by the door. He paced back towards him and softly intertwined his fingers with his. “It’s going to be okay.”  
The pair both walked up to the desk, hand in hand, staring at a young girl in glasses behind a computer.

“Hi, how can I help?” she asked.

Her eyebrow arched when silence filled the room, Viktor squeezed Yuuri’s hand, he couldn’t do it and Yuuri should’ve known that, he struggled to get out of the car let alone now being inside the building.

Yuuri smiled at the young girl, “Sorry, we’re just looking for our dog, he went missing a few days ago.” He explained, again rubbing the pad of his thumb against Viktor’s.

The light in the girls face faded, and she bit her lip, as if she didn’t know what to say. “I can get you someone to take you through the back but you see, well, there’s, uh-“ The girl’s lip started to tremble, she noticed too and quickly spun around in her chair avoiding contact.

“It-it’s okay, could we have someone to take us through?” Yuuri asked, softening his tone.

“Mhmm. I’ll be right back.” The girl replied and quickly shuffled to the back doors.

The couple dawdled around the side of the desk skimming through the different types and coloured collars placed in a box when the girl came back with an older woman by her side.

“Please, come through.” The woman said, gesturing her hands towards the passage way. There was also a sadness in her eyes, Yuuri knew something was up but he couldn’t put his finger on it.

This time it was Yuuri being dragged behind Viktor, who was determined to find Makkachin, he had hope and that was good. Yuuri stopped as he passed the pin-board and almost stumbled in his steps in held of the Russian's grip.

“Yuuri?”

He released his hand from Viktor’s. “Y-you go ahead, I’ll catch up.” His fiance didn’t think twice and left with the lady through the double doors.

Viktor’s voice thanking the lady disturbed Yuuri from his shock and utter disbelief with what was in front of him he’d only ever seen in movies, never in front of his own eyes and never here in St. Petersburg.

“Yuuri, you didn’t come, is everything alright?” Viktor lay his hand on his partner’s arm and tried to make sense of what was going through his mind.

“You didn’t find Makkachin did you?” Yuuri asked coldly.

“No, but how did you know?” Viktor was getting anxious now, how did Yuuri possibly know? What made it so obvious?

“Viktor, he isn’t the only one.” Yuuri muttered without taking a glimpse at him and still staring at...something.

Viktor threw his gaze in the direction his fiance was lost in, and his grip loosened from Yuuri’s arm.

There before them, lay a pin-board upon the wall. Layer after layer, paper after paper, photos upon photos. Makkachin wasn’t the only one missing. Dozens, no at least more than a hundred ‘missing dog’ posters had been pinned up on top of one another. The strange thing about it though, wasn’t the amount of dogs, but all the dates were based within this week. How? How is it possible that, that many dogs just disappear, within the same week? It’s not possible. Surely not. It’s not possible.

“I tried to warn you both, but it’s terrible you see. Nobody knows what’s going on.”

The couple turned around, stunned, and merely scared. The young girl was behind the counter, fiddling with her glasses. “I mean, it is impossible, right? Why would all the dogs just disappear?”

..........

The rest of the evening was frigid and silenced. Yuuri was leaning upon the kitchen bench, trapped in his thoughts. He wasn’t genius smart, but he wasn’t oblivious of how unrealistic and terrifying the whole dog situation was. How come this hadn’t been on the news? Is everyone trapped in their own confusion and scared to come out, thinking people will think they’re insane? Or is it purposely being protected? Who knows. This wasn’t science. This wasn’t even logic. None of what was happening made no absolute sense no matter how Yuuri put it.

Viktor lay on the sofa, hugging his knees to his chest, staring at the blank screen of the TV. A glass of water and a nut bar sat untouched on the coffee table in front of him.

Yuuri dawdled over to his depressed partner and kneeled down in front of his face. His eyes were a shaken baby blue, and red behind from crying. Yuuri ran his hand through the locks of the man's hair. “Viktor, this is enough, you need to get up.“ He knew what he said was harsh, in Viktor's mind. It had to be said. He couldn't bare the sadness any longer and that's how Yuuri felt, he didn't trust Viktor to be okay on his own. He'd known the man long enough to understand how he handled situations, either alcohol or crying himself to sleep. Yuuri could hear it, never wished to say anything in fear of pushing the man further away. He'd noticed them before, they came in waves, his emotions. And at random times too. Once he left the house at three in the morning with no explanation, Yuuri found him at four, a few houses down the street staring up at the sky, lost. These moments- these things, Yuuri almost witnessed enough to consider them symptoms of depression but- Yuuri couldn't- he wouldn't believe, not until he understood the reasons behind.

“Why did Makkachin leave me?” He was crying again, heavily this time.

“Viktor, I’m sure-“

“Why does everyone leave me? Why? They left me, now, now Makkachin?”

By they, Yuuri knew he was talking about his family. He had never really asked Viktor about his family, and Yurio had warned him it was a fragile topic and he should let Viktor bring it up when he’s ready. But he was eager to know, they could have been related to whatever bothered Viktor, he'd just hoped not. Yuuri loved his own family, very dearly, and it seemed Viktor didn't love his, he was almost too scared to ask. A family is a family, they're supposed to always be there, right? 

Yuuri hushed the man and continued to caress with Viktor’s hair in a way that would comfort him, and every now and then he would stop to wipe his tears.  
“Viktor, I-“ Yuuri paused, Viktor was staring him eye to eye, and that’s when Yuuri noticed how tired he really was.

“Yes, Yuuri?” Viktor whispered and it seemed he couldn’t raise his voice any louder, almost as if a knife was being held at the man's throat, threatening him.

“Nothing. I just wanted to say-“ He was interrupted, again.

“Say what Yuuri? There’s nothing you could possibly say that could-“

“Viktor stop cutting me off. I get that you’re hurting, I am too. Viktor, I-I will never leave you. That’s what I wanted to say. I just want you to know that.”

Viktor’s hand grabbed Yuuri’s and removed it from his cheek.  
“How can you be so sure?” Viktor asked, crying again.

“Viktor, I promise you.” Yuuri pulled his hand from Viktor’s and re-positioned it, interwinding their fingers.

“Promise me?”

"Yes, I promise that I will never leave you, and I'll always be by your side, and when you need me I'll be there. Now you too, promise me that too." Yuuri was almost on the verge of tears himself, seeing Viktor hurt like this, wasn’t just pain for Yuuri, it was killing both him and Viktor.

Viktor stared for a moment, and finally a smile appeared, and another tear fell down his cheek. "Okay, I promise."

Yuuri stood up and lifted Viktor’s head with his hands, scooting his weight underneath him, and placing his body in his lap. Yuuri continued to run his fingers through Viktor’s hair, it seemed to calm his breathing, and soon enough both Yuuri and his fiance were asleep, Yuuri’s head rested against the back of the sofa, cradling Viktor in his arms with his head to his chest.

A few hours later, a knock on the door awoke the couple. A black darkness riddled the sky, which was odd, it was almost summer and St. Petersburg never got that dark, never, not even through the middle of summer or sometimes even winter. Whatever it was, it was late, extremely late. In fact, 1:02am was read on Yuuri’s phone lock-screen. Who in hell would be visiting at this time?

But what Yuuri did miss was, was there was no longer a signal bar showing in the top left corner of his phone.


	2. Half of the truth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With an unexpected guest, and the world surrounding them quickly changing, how long will everyone manage to obtain their emotions stable..?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have no clue whether throughout the show if they clarify if Yurio's cat is male or female, if anybody knows please tell me. Cos at the moment I've just left it as male, and lowkey anxiety is attacking me bc of it..

Yuuri’s hand pauses at the door knob. Who would it be? Chris left Russia two days ago, surely. Well, he should have. Yurio was headed out to visit his grandpa in Moscow and Yakov and the gang rarely come anyway. So who would possibly, unless, it wasn’t a someone but a something. Makkachin.

A sour breeze blew straight into the apartment as Yuuri left the door ajar. His eyes squinted as the icy air nipped at his face. He wasn’t staring at Makkachin, nor a stranger, instead he was sure he was still asleep and this was all a dream.

Another solid breeze heaved past knocking the weight beneath the small figure, having him drop his things and clutch at his jumper.

Yuuri didn’t hesitate and kicked the box through the door with his foot, while grabbing the shaken boy and tugging him inside before slamming the door shut with his back.  
What in hell was with the wind?

“Yurio?” Viktor stammered as he pulled his own jacket from the coat-rack and sheltered it around the young blond.

The young Russian didn’t answer. Instead he shrugged off the offered jacket, placing it into his lap and padding it into a cushion-like shape, before pulling out a crying ragdoll from beneath his hoodie and rugging it up in Viktor’s jacket.

Viktor placed his hand on Yurio’s shoulder, startling him. “Yurio, you should be in Moscow. What are you doing? And the box?”

“It has my stuff in it. And I never made it to the airport.” He bitterly explained.

Yuuri kneeled beside joining both Viktor and Yurio.

“Do you guys know what’s going on?!” Yurio said, his eyes were darting between both men, awaiting an answer.

“What do you mean by that?” Viktor responded, slowly backing away from the teen.

“Viktor, have you been outside?!” He raised his voice, barking at older Russian. He was either upset or extremely terrified, it was hard for Yuuri to tell in this situation.

Viktor lowered his head, distancing his contact with Yurio.  
“No.” He slurred.

The young Russian let out a scream full of confusion and rage, throwing his fist towards Viktor.

On an everyday conversation like this Viktor would usually promptly reflex and catch Yurio’s punch before it would collide with his chest, he would never fail. But this day, this conversation, Viktor didn’t even think to catch it. He let the anger overcome him, resulting him to wince at his shoulder.

“You’re supposed to know! You’re the adults! Why?! Why don’t you know anything?! I come to you both for safety and you both have no idea what the fuck is happening! I don’t pay attention in school! I don’t do that bullshit! You should know better! Both of you! The sky is dark! That never happens! Viktor that never happens! It’s cold and the air is damp! The phone signal is fucked! There is a traffic jam on the highway to the airport so there is no way in hell anybody is getting out there tonight! And I, I don’t know what is going on! I never do!”  
Behind all the disappointment and anger, Yurio was trembling, tears were piercing the back of his eyes and his voice broke down the more he continued to yell.

“That’s enough!” Viktor violently slammed his fist to the floor.

The young blond snuggled into his cat, before raising his head and flicking his head around in fear. “Something-something’s missing. Where’s that damn poodle? Viktor where is he?!”

Yuuri stood up and paced impatiently back and forth between the door and the two Russians. “We don’t know. We haven’t seen him for a while now. We don’t know what’s going on either Yurio, from my understanding you actually know a little more than we do.” Yuuri flashed a soft smile and helped Viktor up from off the floor.

Yurio squeezed his cat once more, and cried into the fur of its neck. “I don’t get it, I don’t get it, I don’t get it."

“Here you take our bed and we’ll crash on the sofa.” Yuuri implied, and offered his hand to also heave the emotionally torn teen from off the floor.  
The shaken blond nodded, and took his hand, hugging his pet in the other.  


………

Morning came and the atmosphere inside the apartment was just the same. Cold, quiet, and sad. But empty, literally empty.  
Viktor dawdled from the lounge to the kitchen to his bedroom and even the bathroom, before bypassing a window in the hall with Yuuri rugged up standing outside.

Viktor joined the Japanese outside and watched his boots sink beneath a shallow layer of snow. The air was frosty and bitter, tickling Viktor’s ears. The sky was still muggy, and darker than he had ever seen in daylight of his home country. Small flakes of snow drifted with pattern of the breeze and several groups of smoke, clouds, whatever they were, filled the sky.

He hugged his partner tightly, in apology for the yelling that took place a few hours back.

Yuuri smiled and shrugged it off, “It’s okay. He’s a kid y’know, it’s normal for him to panic in this situation, you also have the right to panic too Viktor.”

A sigh of relief came from the Russian.  
He cupped his fiance's small head in his palms, and brushed his thumbs alongside his cheeks.

Yuuri cocked his head back a little. "Your hands are cold.”

The couple both chuckled softly, supporting their foreheads against one another. Yuuri was right, Viktor’s hands were cold but this moment of the little embrace they shared only seemed to spread warmth.

Viktor slid his slender fingers up beneath Yuuri’s beanie, sliding it up a little more before gently pressing his lips to his forehead.  
“Still cold?” Viktor teased.

Yuuri was slightly flustered for a second, sending his heart jump, still not used to the softness of the man's lips and how much it affected him.

Viktor eased behind his quiet fiance, placing his hands in the warmth of his pockets, interwinding his fingers with Yuuri’s. “Where’s the small child off to?” He softly asked, hinting at Yurio.

“Don’t know, he let his cat out to go to the toilet...you don’t think.” Yuuri didn’t want to finish his sentence, he didn’t want to think of it or think of mentioning it to Yurio. There was already enough pain and stress upon the seventeen-year-old.

Viktor let a sharp sigh and nuzzled his head into Yuuri’s shoulder, “I don’t want to think it about it either. But someone has to do it.”

Yuuri was about to part himself from Viktor when an eerie sound of a bug buzzing disturbed them both. Viktor grabbed Yuuri’s arm, having the small Japanese to wince from his grip. That was no bug, or they waas the proper term for this situation.

A pair of grey Russian army jets blended in within the dismal sky, bypassing over the neighbourhood before silencing in the distant.

“Yuuri, go inside. And take Yurio with you.”

Yuuri stared blankly at his partner, what did he mean? Was he going to stay outside by himself? Yuuri refused, he was staying with Viktor whether he liked it or not.  
“No-“

“Now!” Viktor loosened his grip and shoved Yuuri forwards, sending him in direction of Yurio.

The hooded blond met him halfway and stumbled over a twig into Yuuri’s arms. “I can’t find him, he should be back by now a-and why are jets flying around?” Yurio was panicking and Yuuri was too, but he couldn’t find the words to answer.  
“W-we need to go inside. Viktor said-“

“No! I am not leaving until he comes back!” Yurio stepped back from Yuuri, only to have his forearm in grip of Katsuki’s small hand.

“Yurio, please.” Yuuri didn’t want to force him, that was the last thing he wanted to do, due more to the fact he’d probably get punched or kicked from the Russian and even though he has a small slim figure, he's a lot tougher than he looks, from previous experiences.

“No! He is my pet! And I don’t care if his poodle decided to take off, my cat wouldn’t do that!”

Yuuri sighed, and bit his tongue, he was not looking forward to forcing him inside.

Viktor stood from the side, clenching one fist in his pocket and one pressed to his forehead. He didn’t know what was happening. But he knew who to ask. And to be honest with himself, he didn’t know if his heart could take a second speaking to either of them.  
He glanced over to both Yuri’s swearing at one another as Yurio struggled under Yuuri’s grip and being shoved through the front door.

………

Viktor bolted through the door as he heard a glass shatter inside the apartment.  
“W-what’s going on?” He spat out breathless.

“Oh, glad you joined us! Everything’s going just fineee.” Yuuri sarcastically pointed out, leaning against the dining table, as Yurio shuffled viciously around in the kitchen.

“You!” Yurio barked, pointing a finger at Viktor. “I don’t give a damn if you think you can boss me around but you can’t tell me whether my cat is gone! God, you’re such a…such a...ARGH FUCK!”

“Do not use that tone under my roof.” Viktor spat back.

Yurio was boiling, disgust and hatred filled his face as he took another step towards Viktor. “No. You know what? Fuck you Viktor, fuck you and your parents. If they are sooo high ranked up in whoever-knows-what, why are you still here?! Huh?! Why haven’t they come to rescue you?! That’s because they don’t give a shit about you! But you’re just the same, you don’t give a shit about anyone else’s feelings and only think what you know is best! Fuck you! Fuck you both!”

Before Yuuri was given the chance to question either Yurio or Viktor, or question on what just went down, Yurio had left the room with Viktor following him and instantly slamming the bedroom door on Viktor’s face.

Yuuri’s head spun, sending his palms to his face and slapping himself to keep stable. The buzzing continued, confusion to the world, the sky, the jets, Viktor’s parents, where he lay in this position, everything. What was happening?  
His chest tightened and he collapsed to his knees, he couldn’t breathe, this was too much. The frustration kept weighing him down and he struggled to gasp for air.

A familiar warmth touched his shoulder and shocked him enough to enable some nerve in his body to breathe, to be at rest. And that touch cleared the sky, and opened Yuuri’s eyes, he figured it out. He fucking figured it out. He knew what this was. It was that easy, how did they not notice?

“Yuuri, he’s just a kid. He doesn’t know what he’s talking about, don’t take it so hard okay?” Viktor leveled himself with his panicked partner, only realizing the pair of brown eyes weren’t panicking but sparkling. He was searching for something, desperate for an answer.

Yuuri linked eyes with Viktor and grinned, “Oh, I know. It’s not Yurio I was stressing about, but I think, I understand what went wrong.”

The warmth turned cold and removed itself from Yuuri’s shoulder. “Viktor? What’s wrong?”

A blade struck Viktor’s heart, his sight blurred and a lump grew at the back of his throat. He knew too, he was just hoping he was wrong.  
“Okay, I think I know too…but please, please, don’t resurface a nightmare I once lived. Yuuri, tell me, what do you think of all this?” His voice was shattering, his head was losing hope and his heart was gaining regret.

“I, uh, I think..." He stuttered under the pressure of the dead look within his partners eyes. He met that pair before, beneath a moonlight at four in the morning. "I think...it had something to do with one of the missile launches, y’know it would make sense, the nuclear testing, and, the sky, and everything, but it doesn’t make any sense at all. This is Russia, this is fucking Russia, why? H-how would they let it all fuck up? y’know?” Yuuri replied, anxiously to the sudden blink in Viktor's face on each curse.

His eyes fell to the floor, suddenly, as if he never heard his partner swore. Tears heavily welled up in Viktor’s eyes, he knew it. Damn. Dammit.  
“I thought so too.” He whispered, pressing his fingers to his eyes, forcing the tears to stay.

Yuuri raised his hand to Viktor’s, removing it from his eyes. His eyes were intense, and stinging from pain, unlike any other time Yuuri had been stunned by the captivity of his fiance's eyes, these were cold, ice-like. They weren’t capturing a light, instead they were so blue, that they were literally glowing, even though this was a light of sadness and not joy.

In awe, he gripped Viktor’s hand and raised it softly to his lips, kissing his finger with the ring in place. Discreetly, he peered over at his fiance sitting opposite him, who was blushing slightly.

“Do you remember that night at the airport, where I asked you to stay with me until I retired? And you kissed my ring finger, then wished I’d never retire…well, I want to do the same, and I just, whatever is going through your head, I am here, you don’t have to tell me anything if you don’t feel comfortable, I’m still here. Okay? I’m right here, I know we’re not married yet, and we were talking about starting to write our vows the other day, but, now we’ll probably never get the chance to say them, but I promise you it would have been something along the lines of that.”

Yuuri had tears too, they were soft and meaningful, he meant everything he said, but at the same time he was scared, so scared. They probably weren’t going to say the vows, but that didn’t matter, did it? as long as they had each other, it would be okay, right?

“Yuuri...” Viktor began to speak, but he paused and a heartfelt grin grew upon his face. “Yuuri, I love you, I truly, deeply do, and I swear we will say those stupid vows one day.”

………

Yurio sat back against the bedroom door, his head hung low on his knees. He regretted saying what he said. He didn’t mean any of it. He was just pissed. Pissed at the fact that his cat left him alone, alone with two dorks and pissed at the fact Viktor had no clue what was happening, he should have and pissed because all he wanted to do was visit his grandpa and eat his homemade pirozhkis, that’s all he wanted.  
He sniffled and wiped the sleeve of his hoodie across his eyes.  
“They’re going to hate me.” He whispered to himself. Only to deepen his agony to the realization of how alone he felt.

His stomach rumbled and he immediately deeply regretted not eating lunch earlier, when he had hoped the airplane would have served something sloppy and disgusting to fill his hunger. That was his plan, until he would’ve reached Moscow and in warmth of his Grandpa’s company. But that was all gone now.

He pushed his weight up and opened the door, he paused as he heard gentle murmurs from the partnered dorks. He thought he’d stay put and listen, rather than disturb them and they seemed better off without him anyway. Well, at least he thought so.

Katsuki was talking rubbish about vows and how they will never get a chance to say them. He was right, now because of this, there won’t be a wedding.

Yurio sighed, he was actually looking forward to the wedding if he didn’t keep lying to himself.  
As much as he felt he craved a need to hate them, he really never did. He’d always looked up to Viktor and hoped he’d be happy one day. He just didn’t think a drunk, dorky sleaze, like Yuuri, would be the one. Well that’s what he thought when he first met him. But now not so much. Just a dork, not so drunk and not so much of a sleaze either.

………

“Viktor, what about you?” Yuuri asked, cautiously picking up chunks of glass scattered across the kitchen floor.

“Hmm?” Unsure of what his fiance meant, standing before him, holding a garbage bag open for the glass.

“You said you knew, how did you know?” Yuuri re-assured his partners confusion.  
Standing up, Yuuri watched closely, eye to eye, studying his fiance, in hope he would confess whatever was haunting him.

Viktor’s eyes darted, and he reached forward, dropping the bag in the process. Quickly he linked his arm with Yuuri’s and guided him to the door, back outside and grabbed coats and gloves on the way.

“Look, you see, I’ve seen snow here, and this-“ He picked up a handful of white cloud and swung his body towards Yuuri. “This is not snow.”

Yuuri leaned in and peered over the slump of not-called-snow bundled up in Viktor’s hand. “Okay, so is this something to do with radiation? Like an after affect to the missile.”

“I was thinking so, but if it is, it’s not exactly safe to mess around with too much.” He said as he shook off his hand, tearing the glove off and throwing it over his shoulder. “Well, should we...“

Yuuri’s attention on Viktor was long gone, he had watched him frantically chuck the glove over his shoulder and glued his eyes to a couple of kids across the street playing with the snow. Well, snow-not-snow.

Not safe, this was not safe. They were too young, too young. “Hey!” He called out.

Viktor turned his body and the kids froze up in terror.

“Don’t! D-Don’t play with that! You could get sick!” Yuuri tried to make sense, but they were kids, how? how would they ever understand?

Two of the kids sprinted off and bolted in through their front door. One was left behind, eyes opened wide staring into her palms, hunched over a little, looking a little lost.

Yuuri was about to ask if the young girl was okay, when both him and Viktor were startled by her coughing ferociously into her small hands. Her cough was loud, and terrifyingly it had a sharp bark to it. Her chest wheezed as she breathed in and her tiny body trembled as she breathed out.

Yuuri watched closely as the girl gave them a quick glance once more before breaking down into little sobs. She shook her hands and quickly ran inside, joining the others.

A small dark patch spread within the white snow beneath from where the girl was standing and it sent shivers down Yuuri’s spine.

“H-hey Viktor? Does she normally cough up blood?” He asked, he had to ask. Just in case, there had to be hope. This couldn’t be the radiation, it had only been one day. One day.  
Yuuri glanced back towards his fiance, in hope, praying she was originally sick, praying Viktor would say ‘yes’, ‘it’s a normal routine for her’, just something. Only he turned to be reading a face full of deep concern.

“No.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 3 and 4 are being currently worked on right now and I'm hoping I can upload it soon before school starts again bc that would be nice *sobs quietly*


	3. The Call

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Viktor decides whether its a good idea to make contact with his past while both Yuri's start planning their survival tactics.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter does jump around a bit, just warning you guys. But it should be fine, all information is there.
> 
> And how does one write a summary without spoiling the chapter? I'm struggling

“Yuuri, give me your sweats.” Viktor demanded, tugging at the side of Yuuri’s thigh.

“W-what?” The Japanese stammered.

“Take off your sweats.” he echoed again, there was no expression behind what Viktor was portraying so Yuuri was extremely unsure if Viktor was serious or joking around.

“Now? Here? Outside?” Eyes opened wide, he stuttered within his words. He wasn’t serious was he?

Viktor chuckled to himself before willing to explain what he actually considered as a risk to their safety. “Yes, now, I am asking you to throw me your sweats, oh and your boots. They can be your back up, whenever you feel the need of being outside wear them over whatever you have on. To protect you from the radiation.” Viktor explained, and blushing faintly to himself after thinking of what his fiance got confused with.

The pair hobbled inside both only in a pair of boxer briefs, socks and a mere tee that had been underneath their coats.

They tip-toed towards the hall, and Yuuri jumped in his footsteps falling into the Russian's chest as they both shared an awkward stare with Yurio, who was finishing up with the glass they had half-cleaned themselves.

“I-uh-this is not what it looks like.” Yuuri attempted to explain both himself and Viktor’s current situation instead to fail and giggle over how ridiculous it looked.

“I don’t care what you guys are up to, I want to apologize for earlier. I didn’t mean any of it, really. Even your parents Viktor.” Yurio sincerely muttered under his breath.  
His grip tightened on the plastic bag as silence stung the air and the pressure spiked as his peers stood before him half-naked, jaws dropping blinking in shock.

Viktor sighed and supported Yuuri back to his feet, leaving his side to hug the young teen. He leaned in closer and brushed a few strands of hair afar from his ear. “I can only agree with what you said earlier, please do not apologize.”

………

An hour had passed and all three males had showered, grabbed fresh clothing and made themselves a coffee, hot chocolate for Yurio, and sat themselves in the lounge.  
The couple briefly discussed with the young teen, to their theory of the nuclear testing and the possibility of the snow being radio-active, and a strong chance of the air soon being contaminated too.

Yurio was the first to break the silence that longed after the conversation ended, he was wishing for a distraction from the daunting conclusions that repeatedly rung in his head. “What do we do now?” he asked clutching his mug close to his chest.

Yuuri had planted his weight on the coffee table rather than squishing in-between the two Russians. “Well, the powers still on, we could watch the TV?” He softly suggested.

“We don’t know how long for though. What if, what if the power goes? W-what happens then?!” Yurio shrieked, panicking the deeper his thoughts clawed at his head.

The room fell silent again with the air most unsteady and saddening as the silence grew stronger.  
Nobody was in the mood to stare at a screen or pan their eyes upon words printed within a book or even find the alignment of staring another conversation. Today was a dismal day and the start of many others.

Viktor shakingly placed his mug on the coffee table and paced to the kitchen and opened a few drawers, before savagely swearing to himself and pacing to the hallway disappearing behind the wall. After a few sounds of shuffles coming from both bedroom and bathroom he appeared again and paced around the kitchen a few more times and re-embedded himself on the sofa.

Both Yuri’s exchanged a bland look and shrugged. “V-Viktor were you looking for something?”  
Yuuri scooted over placing the man's empty mug in his lap. “Hey, look at me. What does it look like? I can help you find it okay?”

Viktor continued to low his gaze, he knew what it looked like and he knew where it was. He just couldn’t bring himself to it. What was the point? What would he get from it? Pain? Heartache? Anger? But maybe, maybe the truth.

A soft touch beneath his chin called to him, and a pair of intimidating brown eyes glistened over him. “Viktor, I need you to tell me what it looks like.”

“It-it’s a small black box with a lock on the front.” he stuttered nervously in front of his partner.

Yurio watched the two sitting to his right sharing an intimate stare, his lips curved into a soft smile as he admired how strong their bond affected them both, he didn’t think a bond this faithful existed. Just, at the same time it was quite disgusting and sending him to cringe. 

The Japanese took all three mugs to the kitchen, closing all cupboard doors ajar he bypassed. He crossed paths with the sink and froze in mid-realization. “We should probably fill up as many bottles and containers with water before the radiation contaminates that too.”

“I’ll help.” The blond offered as he removed himself from the sofa, desperate for a distraction.

Both him and Yuuri sluggishly re-opened the kitchen cupboards and drawers as they searched for any empty and useful container to add to their bottle collection piled up beside the sink. Yurio stood on the tip of his toes to boost himself to reach a cupboard above his head. He stretched his arm out grasping hold of the handle and stopped himself in the moment.  
“H-hey Viktor...you didn’t open this cupboard, but-” he yanked open the cupboard door before he finished his sentence, “...but you already knew that.” The young Russian mumbled to himself, grabbing hold of a small government-protected box with a modern high-tech padlock enclosed on the hatch.

………

***5 years ago***

Viktor lay hungover on his sofa, flickering his eyelashes in repetitive beats to a song stuck in his head, keeping himself conscious.

A quiet knock on the front door arose his heavily trashed self.  
The Russian wheezed as the morning winter air collided with his chest.

With the front door open wide, Viktor found his blurred vision staring at a familiar pair of baby grey eyes.  
“Natalya...”

“Oh, hi. Well um, surprise!” She gently exclaimed with her cheeks dimpling and the corner of her eyes squinting.

She was dressed in a pair of ballet-flats, a suited skirt and jacket with a white blouse hidden underneath, her silver locks still shaggily bounced around on her shoulders with her 70’s fringe cut tucked beneath her worn-out beanie, the one she had kept since she was young.  
Under all the strict formal attire she was forced to wear, her 70-vibe self never failed to show.

The young girl noticed Viktor studying her appearance and tightened her grip on the box frigidly placed in her small hands.  
“Uh, I know this is weird and it’s been a while, but mother, she asked me to drop this by…” She offered Viktor the box with a sad expression.

“What’s in it?” He scowled, not taking the box.

“A phone.”

“For what use?”

“I…not sure…she-they never really told me.” She corrected herself and offered the box once more.

A lump dragged at the back of his throat and he took the box.  
He stood silently watching the girl he once shared a unique bond with walk down the path towards a black van, with an aggressively built guard sitting in the driver’s seat. She stopped in her footsteps and turned her view back to Viktor.

“Hey, big brother…I could smell the alcohol, it’s riddled in your breath and slipping out from your apartment, so, whatever’s troubling you…please treat yourself well okay? And I like your hair…I’m glad you cut it…it suits you.” She smiled sweetly once more and headed back towards the van.

………

Viktor slammed his rage into the side of the box sending it off the bench, and a black brick with a small rectangled screen was clutched in his other hand.

“What is it?” Yurio curiously pondered as he peered over the Russian’s shoulder.

Viktor shoved the blond’s weight from his shoulder, distancing himself. “I need to make a call.”  
He pushed his own weight afar from the bench and paced around the kitchen yet again before balancing his weight upon the fridge, frowning down at the government-protected gadget.

Yurio slumped himself down beside Yuuri on the sofa, “There’s no use, there is no signal anyway.” He explained to the quiet Japanese.

Yuuri lingered in his quiet space and let his thoughts overdrive in silence.  
He never mentioned his family, not once, and Yuuri never brought it up, he should have. If he had brought it up, maybe he wouldn't have been struggling so much and Yuuri could've helped. Viktor was alone on this one and Yuuri promised he would never leave him alone, especially this.  
Yuuri tangled his fingers in his hair and pulled the few strands whimpering into his palms.

“Hey Katsudon, are you okay?” The young Russian nudged Yuuri with his knee, with no reply from Katsuki his expression softened and he leaned close. “Is this because of Viktor?” he whispered.

Yuuri raised his face from his palms and straightened his glasses. “Uh, yeah, but why are you whispering?”

“I can tell he hasn’t told you, and I’m whispering because if I do tell you and it ruins anything, he hates me enough so…“ A shadow of fear and loneliness caught Yurio’s tongue, if he did screw this up, where would he go? Where was there to go? What was left?

“Yurio he doesn’t-“

Both Yuri’s dropped all conversation as Viktor’s voice hallowed over their whispering.

“Yes, can you put…sorry, Alexandra through…I see…tell her, tell her this is her son.”

Yuuri could feel his fiance’s agony and it hurt him deeper knowing he didn’t know how to be of help. It felt like a fresh wound had cut deep, but instead of healing it stayed open and teared further apart the farther Viktor’s frustration filled the air.  
“Yurio please tell me!” He begged and he threw his hands against the teen's shoulders propelling him back. “Please. I can’t be left out of the loop anymore. I-I feel useless.”

The young Russian scoffed and flicked Yuuri’s hands away. “I can only tell you a number of things, the others you’ll have to get from Viktor yourself.”

“Uh, yeah sure.” Yuuri agreed, only to knowing it was better than getting nothing. It was a start.

The blond shuffled his weight beneath him and kicked his feet up, resting them on the coffee table, crossing his arms over his chest. “Well, I’ll give you this crap. His parents both are assholes and are high ranked within the government, Viktor didn’t want any part in it so he pissed off.”

Government? That's how Viktor knew? Well that wasn’t really the answer he was looking for but it would have had to do, for now.  
“But, why is he so tight about it?” Yuuri slipped, sighing to himself in doubt of Yurio giving him an answer. Even if he did he knew the result wasn’t going to be sugar-coated. 

“That, you’ll have to talk to him on your own. I got it out of him once, and he was wasted off his ass.” Yurio replied, voice shuddering without notice. He flicked a brief shrug to the confused huddled ball-of-emotions sitting next to him as an awkward silence crawled on.

“Thank you.” Yuuri mumbled as he slouched his own weight against the sofa, sighing again on his way down.

A solid clang to the fridge had both Yuri’s leaping to their feet.

“If that were true I would have gone back a long time ago!” Viktor yelled into the phone. “You think by saying that I don’t know this country is fucked!” The volume of his own voice startled himself, when did he become so vile? He anxiously shared a glance with his partner who seemed to be riddled with more fear than himself.  
Dreading the fact that he raised his voice and unintentionally cursed in front of his fiance, he carried his disgust and left the kitchen, storming down the hall.

“Viktor...” Yuuri achingly whined, his feet strove forward attempting to follow him.

A sudden wall collided with his chest as Yurio's hand blocked him. “Don’t. It’s always been like this but never this bad.”

“So what do we do?” Yuuri asked, and he worryingly took the teens cold expression and sat back down.

“We wait.” Yurio replied, pulling his hair back into a pony tail.

Several minutes passed and every second tightened on Yuuri’s heart. He hated this, hated not knowing and hating being useless and hating hear his fiance violently swear in Russian. Some words came clear to him but not all, not most.

Yurio started to hum a familiar tune to himself, as if he was sick of it too.

“That tune, where’s it from?”

The humming stopped. “Oh, it was a song I was designing a new program to, but, that’s not going to happen now. I was looking forward to it y’know, I was going to kick your ass with it.” He smirked.

“Is that so?” Yuuri cheerfully pestered back.  
The two shared a soft chuckle before jumping to their feet again as Viktor entered the room.

“We’re leaving.” He scowled and threw a bag each at the two.

“W-what? Where? Viktor, what’s going on?” Yuuri spurted as he walked up to the cold voice, protesting against him.

“I’ll explain in the car!” Viktor snapped.  
He shoved his weight past Yuuri and began to fill a bag with the bottled waters.

………

Yuuri took a moment to look back on their once warm, cosy apartment.  
They had planned to buy a nicer place after the wedding, well an actual house, but they both enjoyed the small space, it was comforting. And plus, this was their home, it was filled with heartfelt memories good and bad, and their minor stash of medals and trophies they had both kept hidden away under the bed. Just a minor stash.  
His hand pulled the door closed and he heavily made his way to the car, joining both Viktor and Yurio.

Overtime Viktor had eventually built up enough strength, without re-surfacing his anger, of their country’s current situation.

Apparently to what Viktor’s mother had informed him, they were correct, and a nuclear test had failed, with the missile landing 80 kilometers south from Moscow, obliterating a small town. Their radiation theories were also correct, and it had a sudden effect on children first, a number of children under the age of 5 carried too weak of an immune system to keep them alive, killing them in less than 24 hours. The power had instantly crashed in 70% of the country, St. Petersburg were lucky enough to keep most of their power, and was decreasing its strength by day. The government were planning to send soldiers with boxes of needed food and equipment around to each town, but their team was worried they’d struggle to cover 70% of Russia.

Viktor cautiously drove through a maze of empty parked cars on some street, heading out of town. He pulled the car in park as he drove up to a barbed-wired fence separating them from entering the main expressway.

“What in hell?” Yurio echoed as he hid behind Yuuri’s car seat.

Viktor stepped out of the car, greeting himself with a Russian solider well loaded with a rifle.  
“Sir, I recommend you not to drive in these conditions.” He coldly ordered, blocking Viktor from walking any further.

The solider was shorter than Viktor, but he lifted his chin high and held a firm grip on his weapon. Viktor was shitting himself, he lacked all confidence that the tiny man showed. He bit his tongue, and nervously prepared himself to reconsider with the man.

“Please, we have to get-“ He hesitated as a stick dug into his stomach. Without moving his head or any part of his body, he peered down and of course, of course it was the rifle.

“I suggest you drive back home, that’s an order.” The solider threatened, prodding the gun further into his gut.

Viktor closed his eyes and prayed that his back was enough coverage from Yuuri’s sight, if he did see what was thundering down, he wouldn’t hesitate and probably get himself shot in the process. And this is why we should have lived in fucking Japan. He cursed to himself.

“Yes, okay, I understand. It’s just tough being apart from family you see.” Viktor lied, he was gladly fine being separated from his. He flicked his head back to the car, gesturing to the two inside. “I’ll drive them back, they were excited you see.” Again lying.

The small Russian man frowned and removed his rifle, “You best do that.”  
And within seconds the solider had moved back into position under the shade of a tree beside the fence, allowing Viktor to breathe.

Viktor jumped back in the driver seat and yanked the car into reverse, he shifted it back into drive and once out of sight of the barricaded fence, he floored the accelerator.

“Where are we going?” Yuuri asked watching Viktor as he hands clutched the wheel and his eyes intensely focused.

Viktor took a hard turn to the right and emerged onto a dirt road. A sly smirk shaped his face, “We're going around.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Low key cringing towards this chapter, because I had to add more stuff to add up for how trashy it was. But I do hope you guys are enjoying this, and I hope you guys stick with this, I'm trying really hard to finish this for you guys without too much suffering..


	4. A Little Insanity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The trio prepare themselves for a road trip. To a location only Viktor knows.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was thinking about if I should make this an ongoing fic. I had originally planned 5-6 chapters but more ideas keep popping into my head and they gotta go somewhere.
> 
> oh,  
> andddd I've decided to split the 'trainwreck' in half, and place the start of it here in chapter 4 and the other in chapter 5. Mainly bc of the angst for you guys:))

Viktor had been driving for a while, no, longer, no, he couldn’t tell, he didn’t know what time they’d left but it currently read 5:16am on the dash, and the hours were catching onto him. His mind was slipping and his sight too was losing focus, the others were asleep he had to keep driving. Well, no he could sleep too, if he wanted, he just had to slow the car, cut the engine, and close his eyes. 

Close his eyes, that’s all he really had to do, there’d be no more missiles, no more dealing with his family, and no more suffering, he just to close his eyes, allow his eyelids to fall, yes, he just had to, just had to, just-

Crackles of twigs and leaves snapping beneath the cars weight awoke both Yuuri and Yurio as the car drifted off the road, closing in with the forestry surrounding them at an increasingly fast speed.

“What the fuck?”

“Viktor?...Viktor!”  
Yuuri lunged forward, throwing half his weight at the steering wheel, gripping one hand and forcibly spinning it in opposite direction, the other hand shoving at Viktor, jolting him awake.

The brakes slammed hard sending two thumps at the dashboard and one thump into the back of the passenger seat. 

Yuuri rubbed his head and blinked himself back to reality as he peered to the top left corner of his glasses appearing with a crack crawling its way across. His neck strained with him adjusting his view to his left, frowning at Viktor. 

“Well that’s not a happy face.” Viktor hoarsely whispered, wincing at his chest.

Yuuri glared at him with both eyes shaking worryingly towards him. “You need a break..." He began, hesitating to a thought of a question, but decided to brush it off. "...here, I’ll drive.” Yuuri sighed.

Yurio scrambled forward excitedly poking his head between the two seats. “C-can I drive?! If we’re going to die out here, I want to at least drive one more time.” 

The couple both agreed, Viktor lay himself down in the back, Yurio smiled to himself planting his weight behind the wheel and Yuuri sat beside him, keeping watch of the teen.

“Ehh, so…so where are we going?” Yurio asked flicking his eyes to Yuuri.

“Ah! Keep your eyes on the road!

“S-sorry.”

“And to answer your question, I, I don’t know...” Yuuri turned in his seat and reached over to his partner. “Hey Viktor, oh…he’s asleep.”

………

Viktor attempted to focus his vision, fuzzily staring at his ringed finger, and dazedly tried to slowly fulfill his surroundings. Still in the back of the car, of course. But, in a world of blur. 

A mouthful of mumbles were passing through one ear and out the other, completely bypassing his brain as both Yuri’s were in mid-conversation. He arched one eyebrow and crooked the other as he listened in, only reaching grasp of a few words here and there.

“So, how is your driving going.” Yuuri asked. “Well I don’t think you can do that, I’m pretty sure that’s illegal” he laughed. “Otabek came up?” He questioned again. 

“Uh-huh” Yurio answered, mumbling in focus. “Yeah it was real great! but he went back to visit his family y’know.” He paused, and continued. “It’d be cool to see him again, see everyone again, once this is all over.” And he silenced.  
“Hey pig, fuel-light is on.”

Yuuri leaned over, “It shouldn’t be.” 

“Well it is.” Yurio grumbly pointed out the obvious. 

“We can just fill it up at the next gas station.” Groaned a strong Russian accent behind.

Yuuri flicked his head so fast his glasses slid off in the process, and both reached out to catch them without hesitation.  
“You’re awake!” He exclaimed and fumbled over sliding his glasses back on.

Viktor chuckled in awe and surprised his fiance with a soft peck on the lips. His attention quickly changed, and he explained to the slightly-inexperienced driver about a gas station appearing on their right roughly in about 10 kilometers. 

The Russian then sighed himself back to his seat, and grew humbly frustrated over how well he knew this road.

The indicator ticking in the background brushed Viktor’s thoughts aside, and his eyes jumped to the half gas station half supermarket express he hadn’t forgotten, and looking the same as always, zooming into their surroundings as they pulled aside a fuel pump.  


Nothing had changed, still small, still no upgrades, and still kept a rusty edge to it. But one thing for sure spiked fear amongst Viktor’s past the most, that it was abandoned, completely abandoned – a ghost town even.

Inside the store was a mess. There were broken bottles of soda, and spilt milk cartons, shelves flipped over, and there were flies everywhere. Most of the snack foods and candy were looted.

“Great.” Yurio scoffed. 

“Just grab whatever you can and we’ll keep going.” Yuuri said and helped Viktor lift one of the turned shelves. 

Viktor grabbed a bag from behind the counter and dawdled through each isle beside his partner, scooping up whatever packaged or canned -still edible- food they came across. 

In amusement and needed distraction from the stench hoarding in the store, Viktor hummed to himself and motioned his weight towards Yuuri.  
“Hey, Yuuri~. Play I spy with me~.” 

Yuuri flashed a look at his lover leaning before him and shrugged, picking up a chocolate bar. “Yeah, sure.”

“I spy, with my little eye, ah, something I haven’t eaten in a long time.” He beamed, and his eyes smirking.

“Uh...” Yuuri thought for a second and jumped in his feet.  
“Oh, Viktor!” He laughed, acknowledging the fact that wasn't exactly how the game worked. “You’re talking about katsudon right?”

Still smirking as sly as ever, Viktor replies with a yes, and also a wink. 

Why did he wink? Yuuri definitely identified that wink. That wink. He held that same wink when they first- oh god, w-what, why? oh god, katsudon! he meant Yuuri?! The man felt his cheeks flushed hot, laughing off the embarrassment. “Viktor! That’s dirty!” He exclaimed, still laughing, holding his palm to his face. 

“Ah, you thought of it~.” Viktor chimed, and joined him laughing. 

“You know what I spy? An annoying couple of dorks who won’t shut up.” Yurio barked across the store. 

Viktor’s in behind the wheel again and guided the car back onto the straight they had been following. 12:07pm read on the dash, and Viktor was now prepared for a long day ahead. 

A few hours had passed and Viktor could feel Yuuri’s anxiety, it had been riding up on him for the past half hour, it was seeping into his skin and prodding at his chest. He sighed off the discomfort and patted Yuuri’s thigh. “What’s wrong, love?” 

“Where are we going?” He replied quietly. 

Viktor swallowed and asked again, firming his tone. “Yuuri, what’s bothering you?” 

“Where are we going?” He repeated.

There was no expression in his face, and he wasn’t bothered to share a glance towards Viktor. He removed his hand and placed it back on the wheel. This wasn’t anxiety, this was anger. 

Viktor gulped at his own anxiety and accelerated the car. “That, that doesn’t matter right now.” 

Yuuri turned his weight and stared Viktor down. “No, don’t do this now. Enough with the secrets!” He raged and flung both arms aimlessly in the air, “Enough is enough Viktor.” And he turned his body away.

Viktor began to protest, “Yuuri, please..." He paused. How- What secrets? Unless- He sighed, reaching a hand to the man beside. "...I will, I will explain everything, just give me time.” 

Yuuri scoffed, and folded his arms, rejecting the open hand. “How does time make a difference; does it look like we’re are in the perfect place of time for secrets.” His eyes flared and parted their contact. 

Viktor removed his foot off the accelerator and allowed the car to roll to a stop. When the wheels stopped turning, he placed his foot on the brake and pulled the gear into park and he snapped. “You of all people should understand needed space!” He yelled to the window. 

“Guys.” Yurio called.

“What does that have to do with anything?!” Yuuri raised his own voice, balancing the yelling. They were equals, there was no need for hiding. He pointed a finger at himself and continued to argue. “We are not talking about me here! We are talking about you! Stop pointing everything back on me!”

Viktor sighed and rubbed his forehead. “That’s not what I meant!”

“Guys.” He called again, but something was wrong. Something felt terribly wrong. He tried again, but he couldn’t hear his own voice.

“I don’t care if that’s what you meant! I am trying to be here for you Viktor, and you’re not helping! I can’t do anything if you don’t tell me anything!” 

“Stop.”

“What if I don’t want to tell you anything!”

“Please, stop”

“Fine!”

“Stop yelling, guys, just stop.”

“Fine?! That’s all you have to say, after all that!”

“Stop!”

“What do you want to hear me say, Viktor!”

“Stop it!”

“I want to know what you have to say, Yuuri!”

“Stop it! It hurts!”

“Fine!" Yuuri slowed his gaze to his hands, if Viktor wanted to know, fine, he would say. His hands balled into small fists within his lap. "I feel like I’m suffocating because you lock yourself away from me." A whimper slipped from the Russian, Yuuri continued. "One moment your family doesn’t exist, the next they’re everywhere...and you’re screaming...and my head is screaming...and I don’t know what to do...because you won’t allow me to help you.”

“It hurts, everything hurts!”

“Yuuri, I’m suffocating too.” Viktor closed the conversation with just that, eyes still distant out the window. And with just that, everything was silenced, except Yurio’s head, Yurio’s head was screeching and whatever was down his throat was climbing and it was desperate for an exit. 

The car roared again and Yuuri exhaled, letting go of all angst he had stored inside him. “So how much longer are we driving for?” 

Viktor bit his tongue, and he did the same, he kept calm and replied; “We’ll be there by morning, we can switch places if you get worried okay-“

The thing reached its exit, and Yurio hunched forwards and barked his lungs into his palms. To him, the barking was blurred, no, it was deafening. The more he coughed, the less he heard.

The car screeched to a stop again, and the couple did not take a second to hesitate. Yuuri jumped out first and yanked open the back door, attempting to explain that Yurio needed to sit up. Viktor jumped out shortly after, and rapidly pulled himself from his coat and opened the trunk, dug through the bags and grabbed a bottle of water and bolted to Yuuri’s side. 

Minutes were spent with Yurio hoarsely coughing his insides up and the couple doing their best at preventing whatever the fuck was happening. 

Then it stopped.  
He stopped.  
It was all over.

Both men let out a sharp, shuddering breath and sat down beside the car, in the snow. Yuuri spoke first. “Viktor, did your mother say anything about how fast the radiation was spreading through ages?” 

Viktor reached for his hand, and answered when Yuuri squeezed it tightly. “No, but she did mention it strongly affected children under the age of 5 in the first 24 hours, and its only been under 72 hours, and if you multiply five by three that gives you fifteen. Seventeen is close enough isn’t it?” He spurted with both panic and sadness.

“What if it’s not exactly fifteen but under the age of becoming an adult?” Yuuri paused and his eyes widened. “How long do you think it will be before it effects adults. Us?” He quivered and clutched his knees to his chest. 

“I, I don’t know. But we need to keep moving.” Viktor said.  
He raised to his feet and supported his partner up. 

Both men seated themselves back in front and continued down the road, Yuuri’s hands on the wheel, Viktor beside him checking on the younger Russian every five seconds, and Yurio himself, asleep in the back huddled up underneath Viktor’s coat. 

………

The dash read 5:28pm and Viktor turned around once more overwatching the blond. The teens hair was greasy, or so it looked. Viktor reached over and ran his fingers through his hair then gently pressed the back of his palm against his cheek.  
He squirmed under his touch and blinked his eyes awake.

Viktor gave him a weak smile and whispered to Yuuri once turning back to he front. “He’s sweating, this isn’t good, love.” 

Yuuri didn’t answer, but his hands clenched the wheel and that was more than enough for Viktor to understand how he felt. 

Yurio wiped his face and removed his hood, he was feeling the heat too.  
“I need to go.” He mumbled. 

The older Russian took it the wrong way and nearly lost his breath. “What?! You’re not going anywhere!” He argued, there was no way he was letting Yurio take a foot outside especially in this condition. 

The blond almost shed a smile. “No, I need to go.” He repeated himself and still stuck with Viktor’s confusion, his rage spiked. “I need to fucking piss, Jesus Viktor.”

“Oh.”

Yuuri pulled over and all three wandered into the woods, still in sight of the car but distant enough to be free from the confined space. Yurio took his piss and headed back towards the two dorks. 

He joined the couple in their watching over a ball of light faintly striking in the distance on the horizon. 

“What’s that?” 

Viktor grinned down at the hooded teen. “Saint Petersburg.” He explained, and the angsty teen’s face beamed. 

“Woah.” Yurio murmured under his breath, he struggled to hide his smile and decided to himself why not? And he allowed himself enjoy that moment.

Because that moment didn’t last long.  
One second the light was glowing across the horizon, the next second it was gone. Poof. The ball of light poofed.

The horizon now riddled dark, evil, nothing. It was as if it was nothing, and nothing was ever there. But there was something there, his home was there. Because Yurio saw it with his own two eyes, there was something there.

He shrieked and stepped back. “What was that?”

Viktor sighed in disappointment and started walking towards the car. “That, was Saint Petersburg. Looks like the power is gone.” He froze and turned his gaze back to where St. Petersburg supposedly lay, he prayed for Yakov and Georgi and Mila to be okay, and not just them, he prayed for everyone.

Yuuri followed Viktor to the car and called for Yurio to hurry up. He took another look back on the small figure and titled his head.  
His hands were placed on his knees and his head hung low and his body was showing awkward breathing patterns. Yuuri pondered in his footsteps and was unsure if it was shock or his body’s stability was weakening and he quivered as the second consideration brushed his mind.

“Yurio, you look a little pale, are you alright?” The air silenced and Yuuri softly called out to him again, “Yurio?”

“Shut up, pig! I’m fine!” He aggressively answered.  
He was not fine, he felt upside down and he felt like he was going to hurl, or collapse, either one.

Yuuri began to panic and flicked his attention to Viktor who was further up and a thump hit the ground behind him. He turned in his feet and started running hard. “Viktor!”

He kept running and slid down beside the teen, who was out cold. But he was not cold, he was his own oven and there was no knob to turn down the heat. Viktor joined them both a second after and helped Yuuri carry the weight to the car. 

Yuuri jumped in behind the wheel and he paced, fumbling over turning the ignition on and cranking the heat. “W-what do we do?” He stuttered and watched his hands tremble upon the wheel. 

“We need to get him someplace warm and quick, we’re almost there though, surprisingly we took a lot faster than I thought.” Viktor rambled and noticed his fiance’s hands were unsteady, he reached over and covered them with his. 

The trembling soon stopped and Yuuri had stronger grip of the wheel, he took a deep breath in and let it out and increased the cars speed simultaneously. Wherever they were headed they needed to get their now.

10 minutes of Yuuri probably breaking the speed limit by a few more than a few drivers points lost, they entered a graveled drive-way with a small wooden cottage at the end, surrounded by an acre of garden and forest. He pulled the gear in park and Viktor was already by the back door, opening to get to the trembling boy. 

“W-what do you want me to do?” He asked Viktor as he peered around the place.

“I need you to knock on the door.” He growled and picked Yurio up and out of the car.

“Me?” Yuuri stammered.  
Yuuri didn't know who lived there, let alone feel comfortable knocking on a strangers door? Why doesn’t Viktor knock on the door?? Yes? Hello, this anxiety speaking. Oh you would like to take over? S-sure go right ahead. The Japanese grumbled in lost of his thoughts, Viktor yelling caught him off guard.

He stepped out of the car and ran to the front porch, he walked up the steps made out of wood, he stared at the porch made out of wood and he stared at the door made out of wood. If his anxiety wasn't going to drive him insane, it would be the wood.

He balled his fist and said no to anxiety, and knocked on the door.


	5. The First Of Many

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dark pasts and family secrets are exposed...and the radiation poisoning still surfaces.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yIKES. I'm sorry for what you're about to read. Just small warning, there is some dark stuff from here on out. I'll leave you now...
> 
> But, thank you thank you for those who are still reading this and supporting me on dis and those who dm me on ig seeking out for hints, ily all

Yuuri knocked on the door again and after hearing no reply he grunted to himself. This was pointless to him, it was obvious no one was there. His eyes rested and he sighed, Viktor had asked him too, it was obviously important.  
He raised his fist to the door once more and the handle creaked beneath him. The movement of the handle was so sudden Yuuri let out a small shriek and stumbled back onto his ass.

A silhouette of a young girl stood within the shadows of the house staring down at Yuuri, her face came into view as she laughed and reached out a hand. “Are you alright there?”

She seemed to be same age as Yuuri, infact, her face, her hair, it all looked too familiar. But, her eyes weren’t a baby blue, and his cheeks weren’t covered in light freckles, but the cheekbones and the noses, their ears even, not to mention the hair.

The girl took her hand back and pouted her lips. “Well, okay sir. I’ll leave you to it then. Just don’t make yourself too comfy on the porch, I still live here okay?”

Yuuri still on his ass, left stunned by his own eyes and re-surfacing every memory and word Viktor had scowled about his family. He didn’t understand how Viktor had always felt so much hatred towards such a delicate bubbly person, she’s not much different from Viktor himself. His throat almost called out to the strange girl, when her coat turned away and faded back towards the darkness. An echo of a car door caught her attention, and she nearly collapsed herself.

Her coat brushed past Yuuri’s face as her tiny pair of boots took off and bolted down the front steps and towards the snow.  
That smell. She smelt like him too.

“V-Viktor? Oh my god…oh my god! Y-You’re okay!” She exclaimed still running up to him.

Yuuri wanted in, he wanted to know, he wanted to understand and he turned his head to the three. The girl cupped her gloved-hands to her mouth and gasped.

“Oh my god! Is that Yuri! It’s been too long!...Is he…is he okay? Viktor what’s going on? Viktor? Viktor talk to me!” She kept prodding at him and he ignored her and carried Yurio to the porch, misplacing his steps every now and then throughout the snow.

“Hey Yuuri, could you?” He asked, nodding his head towards the door.

“Y-yes.” Yuuri answered and pushed the door open to not only a temperature of warmth but a smell of warmth, and food, good food. Not some snack bars and canned beans they’d been eating the past day and a bit.

The girl paused, troubled and lost in thought.

Yuri? But there’s Yuri...And she saw the rings on both her brothers hand and the other man…what the hell happened in five years.  
She held a proud smile, and not because of herself. He looked well.

She followed quickly behind and closed the door after them, breathing in the closure of the home she always treasured. She removed her beanie and ruffled her fringe before shortly heading to the sofa where the others stood behind overlooking her ill-faced friend.  
Holding her breath, she gently tugged on Viktor’s coat like a little sister always would. “What’s happening with him? Is it the radiation?” She whispered behind.

Viktor’s head felt tight and claustrophobic-like, he wasn’t used to this, any of it, he reached his hand out to Yuuri’s for comfort. Yuuri noticed Viktor’s request and gladly took it. With Yuuri’s hand in his, he built the courage to answer the small girl standing behind him. “We assume so.”

We?

The girl jumped and laughed to herself. “Oh! Right, sorry, I’m Natalya. And you’re Yuri right?” She said, purposely missing out that she was his sister, she didn’t feel the need to, he looked as if he already knew. In all the distress and confusion she held a strong smile towards the Japanese man.

“Yeah, h-how did you know?” Yuuri pondered as he observed his surroundings.

A rectangular cut dining table sat to his right with a few chairs missing, explainable by the stack of roughly edged up piled wood chunks and chair legs she had kept stashed beneath a largely sized kitchen hutch, filled with nothing but cook books and printed recipes slipped within.

“Um, Viktor just said it by the door I guess.” She mumbled and her quiet accent slipped beside Yuuri and shuffled towards the kitchen. Her light weight swerved into the hook-shape of the kitchen benches and alit the stove, awaiting the pot to boil.

“Right.” He accepted, although bothered of how she was unsure of his identity.

A piercing wheeze from Yurio’s ill self, disturbed Yuuri’s observation and the corner of the lounge room drifted his eyes further. Two bookshelves shaping the corner were riddled with books, piled, and shoved into every possible gap and some piling up on the floor beside. The books trailed to a stack of used canvases and art tools that pooled across the floorboards.

She didn't connect with the world, he thought. It was obvious, Viktor’s sister had a creative vibe consuming every small space that confined her. In appearance, she was almost quite identical to Viktor, but younger, and unexpectedly shorter than Yuuri ever imagined. Her sarcastic comments also gave off a similarity to Viktor, especially when he had his inner-diva moments. 'I only like to kiss gold, sorry. I don’t like the feel of dirty dishes, my hands don’t agree. Yuuuri, why do you have to be so spacey, I just want a cuddleeee.'

Viktor caught his fiance chuckling to himself and questioned why the bubbly mood so sudden. He shrugged and nodded at nothing, but his cheeks redden a little and his grin held a passion Viktor hadn’t witnessed for a while.

Natalya stood close by the pot, sneering down at the slow movement of the water bubbling. She pressed her knuckles to her face and rested upon them, she was shaking, too nervous.

She breathed in all her thoughts of how she thought he’d been, possibly still depressed wasted as ever, dead sometimes crossed her mind and especially the regret she felt about never being there for him. She finally let out her breath and watched it disband apart through the steam growing above the pot.

………

Yurio found himself, head still mangled and staring a pair of familiar fragile hands tapping against a mug.  
“Thought I head your voice.” He croaked. He flinched by the shock of his own sickened voice. Was that really him?

“Yura~ Long time no see. What happened to your baby cheeks, you’ve grown up too much. I don’t approve.” Her voice was stern but had a soft tone to it, she placed the mug down and supported Yurio as he began to sit up.  
“Heard you’re called Yurio now, how’s that going for ya?” Natalya mentioned with a wink.

That's right. Natalya had always called him by his nickname, Viktor did also but stopped when-He furrowed his brows to the couple at the bench. The blond grumbled and pulled the girl close hugging her with all his strength. “You never should have left, he needed you.”

She pulled herself away and frowned, and quickly flicked her gaze back to both men seated at the stools behind the bench bar, connected to the kitchen. Viktor rested his head against the bench facing the Japanese who also head resting, but asleep, and Viktor brushing his fingers through the man’s hair.  
“He seems okay.” She said, trying to understand her own distance.

“The pig wasn’t always there. We haven’t seen you for eight years, Natalya. Yuuri’s only been there for three. Yuuri changed him, changed everyone.”

“Right.” She lied, she visited Viktor five years ago, but no one else. Just another regret to her list.

The girl noticed her old friend close enough to be a brother, thinking over her cold answer. “I knew your baby face wasn’t the only thing that changed.” She raised to her feet and patted the younger Russian on the shoulder as she headed off, “Good to see you again, Yura.”

………

It was morning and the young Russian had awoken to him on the sofa, and Viktor in the kitchen. He wobbled his weight upon a stool opposite Viktor. “What’d she give me?” Yurio asked the Russian hunched over the bench in front of him.

Viktor didn’t respond, instead, miserable, he fiddled with his empty mug pushing it one way then the other. Pushed it left again, then right, then left, then right, then left-  
Yurio snatched the mug from Viktor’s reach. “Hey!” He quickly changed his tone, not wishing to wake anyone. “It’s getting annoying.” He sighed and slid the mug back to him, he knew his secrets, he could read that that was what was grinding up on him.

Natalya stepped into the kitchen, greeting both in her beanie and sweats. “I gave you herbal tea, it’s just supposed to calm you, I guess it worked. But it could be a lot of things, like the temperature inside, and you’re older so your immune system is willingly stronger than children’s.”  
She wrapped her short arms around her chest as much as she could, to the memory of the local primary school when the whole thing attacked. It wasn't a pleasant memory. She nudged Viktor in the back to a sudden thought. “Hey, you were looking around for something last night. If you’re looking for…for Kostya…he’s not here.”

Viktor stopped playing with the mug and shifted his eyes to Natalya.

“Where is he then?”

She frowned to the hiss in his voice. She figured, maybe- “Viktor, he, um, he died. Kostya passed two years ago to lung cancer.” She re-positioned her steps as Viktor leaned forward.

“Good for him.” He snarled.

Her eyes widened, and her rage took charge, grasping hold of Viktor’s sweater. “I understand why you hate mother and father, but whatever hate you have towards Kostya needs to stop. He is still your family, what did he ever do that caused this?” With her last word, she flicked her hand at Viktor’s chest and glared him hard in the eyes.

He recognised that look in a heartbeat, it ran through the family. He’d seen it too many times, but never from his sister. He threw his fist in the pocket of his sweats, in hope to bury his anger. It didn’t work, it never worked, he should have known a hatred this deep couldn’t be hidden.

“He abused me! He may be family to you, but he is not to me!” His voice sounded distant, hurt, cracking, a whimper he struggled to comprehend. He didn't want to bring any of that up, never again.

Yurio closed his eyes and began to cave his face behind his hand, he heard it once before, and once was enough.

Natalya backed away and paced a little. “Viktor, what are you talking about?” She was confused, so confused, she struggled to reach any memories of Kostya showing any sign of violence towards Viktor. “H-how could he, h-he didn’t beat you did he?!” Why? Why would he do that?!” She was panicking now and tears began to glisten her vision.

“Natalya. He never hit me. He never lay a hand on me.”  
Viktor was biting the inside of his gum, digging his teeth in deeper the longer he watched his younger sister come to realisation of what he meant. She was the youngest and the last to escape, she didn’t deserve any more pain and unreliability than she had already been put through.

She started to shake her head and nearly stumbled beneath her shock. “Viktor, oh my god, please, I swear, if it what’s I remember, when, Viktor, I, you, oh my god, because you, no that, they, no.” She was speechless, she couldn’t bring her voice to the surface, the betrayal, and the truth kidnapped little voice she had left.

“It’s because I told them how I truly felt, how I didn’t feel normal.” Viktor’s throat himself was closing, but he was going to fight it, he needed her on his side, she needed to know.

………

***21 years ago***

“Hey Natalya, quick quick quick, you’re going to miss it! Quick!”

Natalya whipped her head around, swaying her weight and ran as fast as her little legs could carry. She giggled and bounced up beside her brother. “What? What what what?” She squealed breathless, she was too excited but she couldn’t help it.

Viktor patted his little sister on the head and shushed her. “It’s a butterfly.”

She chuckled to herself and stared at the colour enduring the mystical creature. “Woah, it’s like you! The colour of here is you!” She squealed in her discovery, and every time she’d repeat ‘you’ she would point her dirty fingernails towards her brother’s eyes. She didn’t understand the colour yet, but she admired how pretty they both were.  
“C-can we go find one like mine?!”

Her brother laughed, but she was serious, she wanted her own butterfly.

“How about we count your fingers again instead, da?” He asked, sitting her down on a boulder beside them in the woods.

“Yes! Yes yes yes!” She exclaimed and stretched her hands out next to his.

Simultaneously they counted each finger, one after the other with giggles and grumbles as Natalya made a mistake. They reached number five, and the summer sun faded across her fingers. Viktor noticed too.

“Brother what’s after five?”

“The sun…no.” Viktor had whispered under his breath, but Natalya heard it.

“Silly, the sun is not a number. I got it! It’s three!” She smiled and held six fingers up, she was sure it was three, or had they already said three?

Viktor spaced out and stared towards the sunlight, shadowing his face behind his hair that reached his shoulders.  
“The sun is pretty, I like it.” She said, but she wished to say she liked his hair, she didn’t like hers short.

A voice called out in the distance and she slid down, and off the boulder. The voice called again but it wasn’t calling for her.

“Viktor!”  
It was father.

She raced up to her father, and skipped all around him running every few steps to catch up to him. “We saw a butterfly, a-and it was like Viktor, we saw a butterfly!” She squealed once more and held a grin from one ear to the other. She stopped smiling when she noticed father wasn’t happy.

Father walked up and snatched Viktor by the wrist and dragged him towards the house.

“I want to play with brother a little bit more, pleaseeeee.” She kept begging, all she wanted to do was play.

Her father stopped and held her brother with both arms locked under his. “Natalya darling, that’s enough. Viktor is going to sleep. He’ll see you in the morning. Your mother is waiting for you in the kitchen.”

“Hmm, okay!” She skipped throughout the house and joined her mother in the kitchen, pulling up the step so she could see over the bench.

Viktor stood prisoned within his father’s arms. He wasn’t strong enough yet. Father didn’t even feel right to call him that, his father was long gone, those hands belonged to a selfish, arrogant fool, who Viktor knew, only thought for what he thought was best and not for what was right.

A handful of his hair was yanked back and Viktor was eye to eye with the monster. “Don’t even think of pulling an act like you did the other day. This is for your own good. Kostya is waiting for you.” The monster snarled and shoved his small body towards the front door.

Viktor refused, if he didn’t move, and the monster would grab him, he would fight his way out. This time for sure.

A tight grip on his arm pierced his skin again and he was prepared. The father Viktor didn’t recognize began to drag him through into the house. Viktor leaned back and tugged away with all strength he had saved up. He had promised himself he would fight. Why wasn’t it enough?  
He started to panic and whined, arguing against the man’s strength. Every whine his grip tightened causing Viktor to whimper more, a continuous cycle, he was useless. There was nothing to defeat this monster. And that wasn’t what Viktor feared most, he feared the beast that waited in his bedroom, the beast he would call his brother. But again, his family had abandoned him a long time ago.

“No!” He cried.  
“Stop!” He cried again.  
“This isn’t right! No! No please!” And again.

His head collided with the corner of the wall as he swung his weight afar from the monster’s grasp. Viktor regretted it instantly and let out a yelp. He collapsed to his knees, and pressed his free hand to the side of his head. Tears were pouring down both cheeks, his felt throat dry from screaming, and his back was slammed against the wall.

“That was your own damn fault!” The monster growled.

No it wasn’t. None of this was his fault.  
Viktor gave all his might one last try and kicked at the monster and screamed with what his voice amplified left. The monster caught his leg and threw him over his shoulder, carrying him towards the bedroom.

“Mother, why does brother not like going to sleep?” Natalya curiously asked, as she watched her mother slice up fresh vegetables.

“He is just being naughty, my dear.” She replied.

“Oh, I should talk to him! I like sleeping! B-because I get to wake up and play again!” She shared a smile with her mother and looked back at her brother once more being carried down the hall.

His weight was thrown onto the hard floor and he didn’t complain, he understood whining was also useless at this point. He scrambled to the door, bashing on it as the monster outside blocked it. This isn’t right. He was sure. He thought he could have done it.

The young Russian took a brave breath in and spun himself facing his bed. The beast sat upon the covers with his head hung low but his eyes on his. He gulped and strode up the beast, holding his chin high. He could deal with tonight, the next will be different, it was just one more night right?  
Another tear slipped his bravery and rolled down his cheek, his jaw clenched as a cold finger scaled across his face and brushed the tear aside.

“No need to cry. We’ll stop this soon. As soon as you learn your lesson.”

.........

“Viktor, oh my god.” Natalya sat on the floor of her kitchen snug up to her knees, she tugged on the sides of her beanie and shielded herself from the blade of disloyalty that lay hidden with her family secrets.

“Mmm. Get up. It’s in the past now.”

She shoved her beanie past her eyes and raised her voice. “What? No! Viktor, you were nine! That’s not something a nine-year-old should go through!”

“I know that!” He yelled back, slamming his hand against the bench, sending both Natalya and Yurio to flinch.

Natalya picked up her weight and supported her unease on the bench. “How long did it go for?”

“Long enough.” Yurio prodded in, and scooted his seat back and stormed away from the kitchen and down the hall. He walked past the first guest bedroom and paused, he head was strained and his body hadn’t healed completely, he swore to himself and shook his head.  
Who knew, Yuuri could have been awake this entire time, lying their blank on the other side of the door beside Yurio. If what Yurio guessed was true, this conversation was far from being over.

Natalya scowled at Yurio’s arrogance, “How long?!” She begged once again.

“It stopped the day I left.” Viktor replied and followed Yurio’s footsteps. Natalya cupped her mouth in fight to silence her shock. She watched her brother leave and allowed the tears to fall.

Viktor barged into the guest bedroom and fell against the door. Anger and sadness riddled and tangled their way along every vein and cell in his body, and he sat in silence. He had an urge to cry, to scream, but the tears wouldn’t come and his voice wasn’t following.  
He ran his palms along his face and held his fringe afar, he was annoyed of it carelessly falling, it tickled his nose and it was irritating. A sudden realisation forced Viktor’s eyes to widen and him to drop all buried emotions and throw his gaze to the bed.

He’d forgotten about Yuuri. Who, the past few days had been more frustrated than anyone, and Viktor understood that, he shared the same feeling. But now, most of the gaps were filled, and not filled in the peaceful atmosphere Viktor had hoped to explain one day.

The tears Viktor thought he had control of, re-questioned his stability as his eyes trembled with emotion and brimmed heavy with tears. He had shared one gaze with Yuuri and all his walls collapsed.

Yuuri had seated himself on the floor, resting his back against the bedside table in a stabled position as the yelling took place in the kitchen. He crawled over to Viktor, holding his own tears back, this was not his time to cry. Viktor was fighting a battle, and Yuuri needed to support him, no, he needed to do more than just support, he needed to fight alongside him.  
“H-hey, come here.” He whispered as he pulled Viktor as close as possible. “It’s okay, it’s going to be okay.” Yuuri repeated, he was on the verge of breaking himself. He pressed his face onto Viktor’s head, forcing his own trembling to stop.

Viktor sobbed into Yuuri’s chest, his entire body was shaking with dread and a longed burden he had concealed from the one person who meant most to him. Yuuri held Viktor in silence, rocking him slowly as his loud cries soaked his tee. Why didn't Viktor say anything, before? Yuuri would have understood and he would have comforted him so, whenever he needed, just as he was doing now. All those nights, if he knew, Yuuri would have held his sorrowed body close, pressing gentle kisses and soothing his breathing until he fell asleep. Yuuri would have walked him around at three in the morning, let him cry, scream. Yuuri just wanted to be there for him.

A hiccup slipped the Russian and Yuuri tightened his arms around him. "Why didn't you tell me?" He whispered softly to the trembling beneath him. Why? Why didn't he?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Because I know some have asked, I'll just clarify some ages here below for you.
> 
> Viktor currently is 30, gosh sounds old I know. In small flashback he was 9. In other previous flashback he was 25.  
> Yuuri, 26 and Yurio, 17.  
> Natalya is also 26. Her younger self in flashback was 5, and in other flashback 21.  
> Anddd Kostya was 19 in flashback, we'll get back to that later;)))


	6. In All Madness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yurio decides to take a foot outside, is he making a mistake?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is practically filling in small pieces of information and coming to senses of Yurio's health state...plus with a little bit of smut (that I got lazy with, only because I had to change the story line a bit then change the smut scene and it made me sad and slack a little.) 
> 
> I apologize. 
> 
> [update:] I fixed it, it's all g. 
> 
> But don't worry I won't let chapter 7 slip and will be up by tomorrow. I hated making you guys wait, but everything is a little bit hectic with school at the moment:(

The afternoon bittered in and Yuuri pressed his palm to the glass of the window behind him. “Viktor, you told me you lived with Georgi through your teenaged years, right?” He removed his palm and rubbed his other hand over top to return its original temperature. The temperature outside was dropping insanely fast, Yuuri grinded his teeth and slowed his gaze to the wood pile by the door.

“Yes.”

“Sorry Yuuri.” Natalya interrupted, “Viktor, but you left when you were eleven…how did you.” She cut herself off and rubbed her eyes again.

Viktor sighed, this was supposed to be small talk, a brush over and to clear on what happened for both Yuuri and Natalya. Not some murder-suspect police investigation, with Viktor chained to the table in the dining room of interrogation. What pissed him off most, was that Natalya knew what happened to him when they were young, she confronted him. So why was she lying about it now? Unless…

Viktor slid the tissue box across the table to his sister and she shook her head and brushed the box aside. “I’m okay, really.” She curved her lips into a brief smile and removed herself from the table, and rested her sorrow head upon one of the sofa pillows.  
“How are you feeling?”

Yurio lay on the opposite end of the sofa with dagger eyes targeting at her feet kicked up on his lap. He didn’t mind Natalya’s company, she wasn’t as clingy as all the other girls she knew when to keep her distance. But in all his admiration, Natalya was still a girl and she enjoyed her priorities as much as the others did. “Okay.” He responded.

“Can you help me with something?”

………

Yurio shuffled his boots through the clouds of snow as he joined Natalya outdoors. He squinted beneath his feet, could he really call this snow? His stomach churned at the thought of it, the poison, the radiation, the closure in his chest. He pressed his eyes shut and kept treading onwards.

“Hey. The wood is going to be damp, it’s gonna be a piece of crap. This is a waste of time and its freezing out here.”

“Yura. Do you really think we came out here for wood?” She paused and smiled at the teen. He noticed her smile but it didn’t meet her eyes.

Well yes. He did think that.  
“What are you getting at then? I’m tired and I want to go back.” A muffled cough slipped and Natalya’s eyebrows furrowed.

She turned her back towards her dear friend hiding her concern. “Well, if I was engaged to someone who meant the world to me and just found about their childhood experiences were, well um, unpleasant, y’know. I would want to time to discuss it with them.” She twirled facing the blond with an accepting expression in his eyes and nodded her head deeper into the forestry surrounding.

45 minutes had passed and both dawdled around discussing small unimportant conversations of bad puns and young memories to fill the silence of the wind and darkness that hovered around them.

“Hey Natalya, Viktor thought I was Kostya once.”

The Russian girl braced herself against the trunk of a tree and stared down at her palms. Her palms, her skin, her blood, also carried through her family, her family’s blood, it didn’t feel real. “Yuri, I’m so sorry. W-what happened?”

Yurio kicked his frustration towards a clump of harden snow and watched it aimlessly obliterate in the air. “He was drunk and I offered him a cab. The asshole threw a punch at my face and screamed, and called me by the name of Kostya. It scared the crap out of me and Yakov had to pull him off and Georgi was crying at the door like the wimp he is, overdramatic asswipe.”

“Georgi? I don’t think he was there when I visited you all last, I remember Yakov though how is he doing?” Her eyes drifted and her head followed, Why didn’t she have the balls to visit him five years ago?

Yurio found himself a tree and sat by the trunk, starting this conversation he figured this was going to last a while longer. “Yakov is good. And Georgi, he was on some date with another hag, but he’s a skater, not as good as me though.” He paused and laughed to his own cockiness.  
Natalya wasn’t the slightest impressed and raised an eyebrow at him.

He scratched his nose and sighed, “But if I think about it, I don’t think Georgi was being Georgi at all, I think he was crying because he knew what happened y’know, he has a sensitive heart.”

“Well, sure that makes sense. I had no idea honestly and it breaks my heart to know my parents put Kostya up to that, he wasn’t a bad guy Yuri.” Her voice cut off as her heart pried at her throat.

“It’s still wrong.”

Natayla pressed her lips together to keep herself sane. She knew- She knew that! “I know god dammit!” She failed, and urgently craved a need to not care but she did, she cared too much. Without thinking she scooped a pile of snow under her boot and flicked at Yurio who was laughing for some unsure whatever reason.

“Jesus, sorry. You remind me of Viktor when he loses his shit.” He mentions carelessly brushing the snow from his hood.

“Well I’ve always looked up to him since I was little.” Natalya chimed.

“What! Tsk tsk. Yeah, fall for some half-naked, wasted nerd, dancing on a pole with your best friend. Yeah, that is some crap to look up to.” He chuckles and rolled his eyes.

“Say what? Wow. Sounds like he’s lived.” She paused and her smiled faded, “He’s lucky he escaped while he did.” She paused again and fluttered her eyelashes in surprise. “Wait, were you talking about Yuuri? As in the one who is marrying my brother, but he’s so quiet.”

A smirk eased upon Yurio face, he was enjoying this. “Yep.”

“What? He made Viktor happy? I-I’m not judging or anything! I’m just a little surprised. I’m sure they’re both really happy and they seem to trust each other a lot. But, I never thought the depressed Viktor I saw five years ago would be-“

Yurio jumped to his feet, “You saw him and you didn’t come and visit me?!”

Natalya flinched with her back to the trunk and kept her eyes down. “I’m sorry. I know I should have. But I had some business to take care of.”

“Hmmpf.” The blond scoffed and leaned back, crossing his arms in disappointment.

Natalya invited Yurio outside to leave the couple some space and to have company, good company. Not company that would be looking down on her because she didn’t have the courage to visit everyone five years ago, it was in the past. So why hold a grudge of it now?  
She raised her chin and giggled, “Yuraaaa, please don’t be mad at me, you could never get mad at meeee.”

Yurio shoved her fingers away from prodding at his sides in attempt to resist from laughing.

“Piss off!” He yelled but slipped a chuckle.

………

“Viktor…”

“Yes?”

Viktor squeezed Yuuri’s hand assuring him he was allowed to question anything and Viktor would answer with all his heart. He wouldn’t lie to him, not anymore.  
“Sorry, I’m just a little confused. You mentioned the other night, that your family left you but-“

“Yuuri…” Viktor’s grip loosened and he smiled to the confusion of his figure through speech. “Yes, I left them, but, I still feel they deserted me by heart when I was young. I always felt alone and misunderstood, except Natalya.”

“Okay, I was just making sure.” Yuuri breathed and cupped his hands around Viktor’s, unsure to ask what he had accidentally asked last night. 'Why didn't you tell me?'  
Yuuri frowned, resting his head upon Viktor’s chest.

Vitkor breathed with him, resting his cheek on Yuuri’s head, nuzzling into the softness of his hair.

The couple lay on the sofa in exhaustion and in comfort of each other’s warmth, sleeping the day away. It was the quickest and less boring way to pass time, and it only felt the days were growing longer. It was difficult to tell the time from the sunlight, there wasn’t really a sunlight to glaze under anymore, but there were clocks. One clock. Viktor spaced out in stare of the pale-coloured clock hung on the wall beside the stack of bookshelves in the corner of his view. His mind was lost, distant but he could still hear it. The ticking sound, continuously singing every second, every tick, it was driving him insane.

Yuuri’s body tensed beneath Vitkor’s face as he sighed the life out of him, literally it was the most biggest anxiety of sighs Viktor had ever felt from Yuuri. “What’s wrong?” he whispered with his face still pressed to his head, it felt cold.

“Just, something on my mind. Can I ask?”

Viktor nodded slightly against him and raised his head as Yuuri turned his, meeting eye to eye with Viktor. “How did you…how did you keep going, Viktor, weren’t you scared?”

Vitkor’s heart jumped, of course he was scared. He didn’t break contact with the pair of brown eyes glittering with awe at him and forced a smile. “I was, at first. But, I knew it wasn’t real…Every time mother dragged me to her work I would always find myself outside on a park bench with this couple. I told them most things, and they comforted me. They showed me what I was going through wasn’t real and I shouldn’t be afraid of it, because, I would find someone…someone like you Yuuri.”

A tear rolled down Victor’s cheek and Yuuri’s eyes fixed on his, not on the tear, not on the pain, but on him. Another tear fell and Yuuri face caved close to his, his lips brushed gently under his eye where the tear lay.

Yuuri linked eyes with his again and shared a sympathetic smile with the pair of baby blue eyes he’d always adored looking at. They had faded to a dull saddened blue over these few days, he didn’t blame him though, how could he?

His eyes drifted and caught a spark in the sudden closeness of Viktor’s lips, they were soft and breathed a warmth that sent Yuuri’s heart to dance.

Viktor read his expression and pulled what was his closer, clearing his head of all bottled up despair and anxiety and reminding himself of what mattered most, Yuuri.

Yuuri's head slurred to the welcome of Viktor's acceptance, even after what they'd just discussed. But, their kiss was warm, intimate, and achingly gentle welling Yuuri's heart.

Yuuri hadn’t shared this with Viktor for a while, ever since Makkachin, his heart was racing and drifting his mind from his thoughts, but his body was jumping and had straddled himself on to Viktor’s lap wrapping his fingers in the Russian’s locks. Viktor, also dancing a crave opened his mouth slightly allowing Yuuri to fulfill his hunger, deepening their kiss.

Without thinking, both men had managed to part their lips with hot breaths allowing Viktor to slide his sweater and shirt free from his head. Their lips collided again, sloppy and rough.

Yuuri’s crave grew, and he pressed his lips against the bare skin of his toned chest. Viktor growled to the caress of Yuuri's mouth, body tingling with a warm sensation. Yuuri found his hands were racing his mouth, beating him to the waist-band of Viktor’s sweats. His mouth stayed licking and sucking at the heated skin beneath him, his thumb and index finger on both hands steadied the man’s hips as his pinkie and his ring finger tucked themselves within the inside of the waist prepared to tug down.

He raised a quick glance at his fiance before going down on him. The past conversation still brewed, he sat back up leaning close to the man's face. "Are you sure? We don't have to do anything, if it feels too uncomfortable, don't force yourself because of me." 

His cheeks were a shade of pink and a shy grin faded from his face. He rested his head back and huffed. "Nonsense. Baby, why do you ask such things? Being with you makes me happy, nothing is uncomfortable with you around, Yuuri. So, hurry and do something...please, make me feel good, da?" Yuuri rolled his eyes to the word 'da', so extra, he was. He shuffled his weight against his, Viktor moaning under his breath to his aroused cock being pressed under Yuuri as the man leaned an inch closer linking their lips for a sweet peck, then slowly maneuvering his weight back down.

A smirk eased upon Yuuri’s face, eyes locked on the pleading glare from the Russian. "As you wish." He chortled, continuing on from removing the man's sweats. 

"Wow, you're already hard..." he glanced up at Viktor, who replied with a shrug and a desperate chuckle. Yuuri began slow, teasingly stroking Viktor’s cock with the heat of his tongue and placing gentle kisses on each side. The man answered with hot growls and a soft whimper every now and then.

Viktor’s body trembled beneath Yuuri as he lathered his tongue over and around the tip as he removed his mouth, a light fuzz tickled his skin as Yuuri brushed his fingers lightly, trickling along his waist. Viktor hummed to how gentle Yuuri always was. It felt way too good, sometimes unreal. Easy distraction from the pain. His face felt insanely flushed and his body steaming, the trickle grew into a soft grip to his side as Yuuri supported himself up. His cock was agonizingly stiff and begging for more but he was quite unsure of how Yuuri felt, nonetheless, the Japanese looked furrowed in thought, of what? Viktor had no idea.

Having gone down on Viktor, Yuuri thought it would have controlled his hunger he had riddled his brain with, instead it had only encouraged it more, but- "Baby..." he softly cooed. The Russian raised his head, all attention on him. "...we don't have lube, or condoms, or anything."

"Ah.." Viktor sighed for a moment, then flicked a brow towards the huddled man on his lap and flashed a hand in the air, indicating to use his fingers. 

"You don't mind?" Yuuri reassured once caught on to the movement. 

"Nyet. Please, would you?"

Would I ever, Yuuri thought. Instead, Yuuri were to surprise him, wondering if he would ever see this coming? Slightly giggling to himself as the wording of his thoughts aligned within a stupid joke, Yuuri began to raise himself once again, leaning close to the man's chest, one hand pressing his waist, slowly tracing to his stomach in brace for both himself and his partner.

Viktor watched from a soft blur as a pair of hazel were eagerly shimmering in a sense that pleasured Viktor's lower waist. Yuuri kept locked within the blue eyes gaping, his free hand grasped hold of his own cock, pulling out from his sweats and stroking against Viktor’s.

Viktor slipped an agonizing moan, louder this time in shock, breaking their contact and panting slow to the ceiling. Yuuri, also hissing slightly through his teeth as he rocked his weight against his. This was good. He missed this. Deepening his thrusts, Yuuri noticed Viktor bit down on his lip each whimper, then gaped his mouth open like a fish each moan. He giggled to himself, but caught short when an twitch from his partners cock against the warmth of his thigh sent him to a soft grunt. 

“Y-you know Yuuri…you can be such…ahh…a geek b-but you’re actually dirtier than I…mm…I ever was” Viktor growled breathless catching his throat every grind that pressured deeper.

Yuuri leaned close and brushed his ear with the bottom of his lip and whispered in, “Is that so?”

Viktor huffed a chuckle sending Yuuri’s own cock to jerk between their thighs. His crave dug deeper and he forced his hips to slow and focused on kissing Viktor to control his urge. The kiss was sloppy and desperate, tongues dancing together, and short pants shared between. Viktor eased himself with Yuuri’s power and placed his hands on Yuuri’s hips guiding his ass as their bodies grinded softly together.

Yuuri’s sexual urge overcame him as his body automatically crawled upon Viktor’s well hardened cock, kicking his sweats off with help of Vitkor’s hands and groaning deeply as he dropped, pressuring his weight down in slow repetitive motions.

“Y-Yuuri…wait” Viktor let out a choked groan and steadily sat himself up with Yuuri still wrapped within his lap. He began to rub his arms around the small of the man's back underneath the cotton material, "are you sure, baby?"

The man caved close and muffled a moan into his lip. Yuuri felt weird, good weird, but he wanted more. Viktor leaned into Yuuri's lips quietening his whimper, as he slowly slid his hands down and began to help with the rise and fall of his body. Yuuri hung his arms across the nape of Viktor's neck, groaning into his collar bone as a pleasured sensation filled him. 

Without saying a word or breathing a single breath Viktor cupped his partner’s face in his hands removing him from his shoulder and pulled his lips to his again. Viktor’s tongue fondled over Yuuri’s as they both fumbled with their hands, pulling Yuuri’s tee up over his head. His tongue removed itself from Yuuri’s swollen lips and worked down the base of his neck and collarbone, as a distraction to pulling him up and off from his lap. Yuuri cocked his head back arching his chest, following Viktor's motive as he groaned softly to the gentle pressing on his exposed skin.

Slowly and delicately, Viktor placed a hand on the man's outer thigh, wrapping him close and sliding his weight under his as he pushed Yuuri's back to the sofa, Viktor’s weight on top as his lips embraced his body all over.

Both men didn’t know who preferred to be on top or on bottom, honestly neither of them minded and it was always swapping. But what they did understand was that they both had a desire to devour each other as badly as the other, in a gentle kind of desperate.

Between all the heat, intensive moans, loving curses and hands fumbling everywhere over another, the couple had both moved from the sofa to Yuuri slammed against a wall, wrapping his legs around Viktor as he thrusted into him, slowly pressuring harder the louder Yuuri let a moan slip.

Yuuri clutched onto Viktor’s shoulder, digging his fingers deep as the heat began to reach his limit. His head cocked back against the wall, and cried a loud moan as a quick rush of fire fulfilled his body and drained all energy of what he had left.

"Ahh! Okayokayokok...we should...we should..." He attempted to speak through the short of his breathing, head clouded to what he had intended to say.

Viktor froze, kissing the centre of the man's head as he slowly pulled out. “It's okay, shush, we'll go clean up.“ He rested his head upon Yuuri's chest out of breath, and shared a huffed giggle with his exhausted partner.

With the brief thought of Natalya stating the water should be radiation-free for a little while longer, the couple briefly continued the sex in the shower, soon actually washing and refreshing themselves after Viktor had came from Yuuri’s mouth insisting he take care of his cock once more.

………

“So, then after I visited him, I left my parents and became a teacher.” Natalya grinned, replying to Yurio’s question. They’d spent the past while talking about her and not him. He was too quiet.

“Natalya how far are we from the house?” He croaked.

She quickly glanced around at their surroundings, “Not far. Why? Are you feeling okay? Yura tell me if you feel unwell okay.”

“I haven’t felt well for the past hour.” He stumbled beneath his feet and landed in Natalya’s arms.

“What? Why didn’t you tell me?! This is serious Yuri! How bad do you feel?!”

His weight sunk further into her arms and his head dropped. She was holding a doll, a sick one. “Yura? Shit! Dammit! C’mon Yura, he will kill me if you die! Get up!” She heaved on the Russian once more, instead slipping over herself.

She whimpered as her head collided with the ground and screamed with rage at herself. Was she really that stupid to have taken him outside?

“Natalya…don’t…I don’t feel too good.”

Despite the pain throbbing from her head and the dryness in her throat, she scampered to her knees and raised both the young Russian and herself. “Hey! I need you to stay conscious. Think of something! Someone! Tell me about a friend! Yura!”

“I have a…friend.” He muttered.

She started moving them both, surely, they weren’t that far away? “Good! What’s your friends name?!” She had to keep him awake, she couldn’t lose him. No one could.  
Yurio’s vision was dull and his head rung. He could feel his breathing slow, like it had once been before.

“Ota…bek”

Natalya carried his weight on her side, crying in the process. “Good, that’s good. What’s his full name?” Hearing no answer, she raised her voice, he had to stay awake. “Yuri! His full name!”

“Ota-Otabek…Altin”

“Okay keep going, tell me what he looks like.”

………

“Viktor calm down, I’m sure they’re fine.” Yuuri called down the hall, he could hear his footsteps angrily pacing across the lounge.

“What if something went wrong? It’s been three hours! What if he got sick! What if Natalya got sick! What if, what if…”

Yuuri walked into the lounge and steadied his partner still, “You need to calm down. If something did happen I’m sure Natalya would be able to handle it, she seems like a strong girl Viktor.”

Viktor squirmed out from Yuuri’s touch and stumbled in his pace. Yuuri was right he needed to calm down. But he couldn’t, he didn’t want to. He was terrified. The distress riddled in Viktor’s eyes must have been an easy read, Yuuri was already pulling his sweater close rubbing his palms along his arms again, soothing his panic.  
“I can only blame myself, if, if anything happens to either of them.” His voice went quiet pressing his eyes to Yuuri’s shoulder.

“Don’t think like that.” Yuuri whispered back, although Yuuri was thinking that. He had a hunch Viktor was probably right, he just hoped he was wrong. Yurio should have never left in the first place.

They were right. They were definitely right. And nowhere near wrong. Seconds after Yuuri whispering to Viktor, he had grabbed a glass and scooped some water from a container and handed to Viktor when the front door burst opened entering ice wind and two bodies collapsing.

“I’m sorry! I’m sorry! I’m so sorry!” Was all Natalya could cry out as she rushed to her knees and forced the door closed.

Yurio lay shivering hugging his knees tight with white knuckles. His gut churned and spun in all directions, explosions and fireworks darted all through his legs, arms and began to spring up his throat.

Viktor rushed over to their sides and raised a finger to his sister’s beanie wiping underneath. “You’re bleeding.”

“I’m sorry this is all my fault!”

“No, hush, this isn’t your fault. It never was.” Viktor rambled as his fingers struggled to remove Yurio’s jacket and hood. The boy was quivering cold and damp like an abandoned dog, but his body temperature wasn’t low at all. It was high, extremely too high and warmed Vitkor’s palm instantly as he pressed his forehead and cheeks.

The floor beneath Yurio sunk, it had blackened to an evil darkness reaching out to him and wrapping its claws around his weight and dragging him down. The more he fought the deeper he sunk, and the more he called for help the less he could breath. Trucks rolled over his head crushing his vertebrae as they braked and brain matter oozed from his ears, his eyes, his mouth, seeping into the darkness, sinking into the universal black-hole of death beneath him.

Viktor carried the boy's weight cradling his shoulder into his chest, Yuuri joined him by the sofa and squinted to his hairline.

“What? What is it?” Viktor huffed staring at the blonde wheezing with short breaths, he tightened his grip as Yuuri didn’t answer.  
“Yuuri?”

“H-he’s bleeding, from his ears. Viktor, he’s bleeding from his ears.” Pale-faced he glared at his bloodied-finger tips shaking uncontrollably. He balled his fist and steadied his weight on the floor. Yurio was going to die. He was going to die. And they could do nothing. Nothing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And yes, Natayla now calls Yurio by 'Yura' or Yuri'. I had originally planned it like that. But I didn't want to it be confusing with all three names jumping around, but now it kind of bothered me that she wasn't..I did go back through the previous chapter and update so the nickname fit with the story and not just randomly changing. 
> 
> Thank you thank you guys for still supporting me on this, ily all and I swear I will not leave another chapter to be uploaded after a long time again, bc that made me sad knowing you guys were waiting for so long. ily


	7. What's Hidden Behind A Smile

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A handle full of lies, but what to do with them? Glue the pieces together and discover the truth, or push the lies aside and pretend like you never heard them?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am hyped and in a really good head-space at the moment, so feeling really productive. So who know's what you're about to read. Little bit of angst, bit of humour, little bit of everything. Idek. 
> 
> But, like I promised, chapter 7 is out not too fair behind 6 *happy dances*
> 
> So, I hope you enjoy this guys!

Mugs and glasses fell, shattering across the tiled floor as Viktor ruffled through shelves and cupboards in the kitchen. There had to be something, anything. Yurio couldn’t die. Not now.

Natalya tugged at his sleeve, yanking him away from the almost bare cupboards. “Stop! You’re breaking things!”

He pulled back and opened another cupboard. A shriek followed from Natalya as one of her mother’s china set clung to the floor.  
“Viktor! Stop! That was mother’s!”

“Does that matter right now!” He screamed, he knew that belonged to his mother. He didn’t thrash the china set to the floor out of panic or search for medication. He did it out of amusement and anger. The glisten in his sister’s eyes indicated she already knew that.

She leaned over his arms and dragged them afar from the cupboard, she peered in and sighed. This was the third cupboard completely bare, after emptying out drawers and raiding the fridge. “I’m sorry, there’s nothing here.”

“What about aspirin?! Or something!” His voice broke out husky before weeping into his palms.

Natalya reached for his hand and squeezed it tight assuring him she was scared also, “Aspirin won’t work. I’m sorry. I don’t know what to do either.”

Viktor snapped and flicked her hand from his, her eyes flared and she growled under her breath. “You have got to have something! Natalya, he is dying!”

She retaliated quicker than expected side stepping in her frustration. “I know! I’m just as scared! So, stop yelling at me I don’t have anything! I don’t know what there is to do!” Why was he snapping at her? Just because he had a grudge against father and mother, that was fair, her? She couldn’t accept that.

The frantic of yelling and cries from the kitchen were silencing as shards of porcelain pieces shattered beneath footsteps.

“Am I dying?”

Yuuri flicked his head to the quiet Russian accent wheezing behind him. His blond locks mattered together with sweat, his eyes struggled to stay wide, falling deeper each blink, and his lips cracked at the corners, opened slightly breathing through. He obviously was finding it easier to grasp air through his mouth, Yuuri gulped at the thought of his airway closing right then and there before him.

He shook his head, “No, no you’re not dying.”

Yurio’s eyelids fell and his chest rejected to expand as coughs ruptured through his lungs and out his mouth. “D-don’t give me crap...I..can see it…in your eyes.” Those eleven words absorbed a lot of energy Yurio thought he had more of. He would prefer a brick to the head a dozen times until his eyes rolled to the back non-existent rather than slowly listening to himself drift away on the sofa.

Yuuri’s eyes welled up with soft tears, they stayed lightly blurring his vision. His heart sunk behind disappointment in how weak he felt, when Yurio, his close friend, was fighting for life with little breaths he had left.

A smear of dark liquid brimming across the edge of Yurio’s bottom lip broke him from his disappointed trance widening his eyes and blinking the tears from his sight.

“Yurio, stop talking.”

The teen gritted his teeth from the sudden rudeness of Katsuki, immediately wishing he hadn’t. The movement of his teeth clenching together rung alarm bells through his gum and jaw, clenching tighter like a shock of electricity had spiked his head. “And…h-have my last words…as me catching you bullshitting. I don’t…think so.” His eyebrows furrowed deep despite the pain he was hiding.

“No, seriously stop talking.” Yuuri barked as his hand caved close, leaning forward tracing the bottom of his lip. He brushed his fingers over the liquid dabbed upon his index finger and turned it towards the blonde, “Can’t you taste that?”

Yurio’s pupils dilated in fear of the blood smeared on the fingertips held in front of him. No, he couldn’t taste anything, not even the feeling of his own tongue brushing the sides of his gum came to his senses.

The panicked Japanese staggering into the kitchen bench jolting both Russians from their controverting of non-existing medication. “Y-Yurio h-he’s bleeding from the mouth, dark, dark blood-“ He puffed out deep crying into the cool face of the wooden top beneath his cheek.

Viktor gripped onto his anxiety winding his fingers within the roots of his hair, screaming into his head. The day he met the young Russian, he was a junior, but persistent and competitive and held a stubborn handshake. So why now, what made it so special that he could give up and grow weak now? This was Yuri Plisetsky. The Russian Punk, the one who stayed up late blasting his music, only sharing a bond for cats and his fans, complaining, lazy, he handled Lilia, surely, he could handle this.

Natalya bit down on her fingernails watching her brother collapse pulling at his hair, tugging at his pockets and slamming his fists into drawers. She whined as a hot liquid nipped her lip as she had pierced the skin of her thumb. Drawing her attention to her thumb, blood splashing onto the floor in little drops, sizes of a liquid a needle would squirt-needle. Needle. She jumped to her the tip of her toes and caught her breath in realization.  
“Wait! Wait wait wait! I-I’ll be right back! J-Just keep him alive!” She dashed out of the kitchen, with china pieces clattering beneath her boots. Her side slammed into the wall as she swayed her weight towards the hall, “Shit!”.

Her arm gripped her side and continued bolting down the hall, towards the end where her bedroom lay. Squeezing her weight through the door she rushed to her wardrobe opening the oak doors to a pile of clothes and shoes muddled together. She scurried her hands through them, chucking them onto the floor behind and grasped her hand on a package wrapped in ducked-tape and scribbled writing.

‘Emergency’s only. When the time comes.’ – K

Her fingers tore at the tape unwrapping what had been given to her just so under a year ago, a solid tube slid from her grasp and shattered onto the floor spilling a yellow liquid. She gasped and exhaled deeply of the relief there being two with the spare in her other hand. She clutched it tightly and raced back to the both men.

“I-I got it! Move quick!” She hassled shoving past the couple hoarding the hall awaiting her appearance.

A shimmer of a sharp edge glinted in the corner of Viktor’s eye and he extended his arm holding Natalya back. “What is that?!”

Her body flung back towards his, she grunted. Was she going to save his life or not? Her eyes darted as Viktor stared her down, she couldn’t tell him the truth if he asked, she had to lie. For his own good. Now that she knew.

“It’s a syringe Viktor. This, this could work.” Technically she didn’t lie. Yet.

“So suddenly you have a syringe?! What in hell is in it?! Where did you get it from?! Natalya!” His grip tightened as she attempted to push herself away, avoiding the answer.

“None of your business! Just someone! Now let me go!”

“Who gave it to you?”

The sudden change in Viktor’s tone sent her spine to quiver, his face now calm as ever, but his eyes hallowed deep, possessive, something she had once seen from her father. She snatched her arm from his grasp and fluffed her coat. “Someone! Yura is dying like you said! So, bud out Viktor!”

He loosened his grip and let the girl he held much trust in run towards the sofa. Yuuri slid his arm under his pulling his shaken-self closer, sharing the equivalent stare Viktor felt. This was going to go one way or the other. Either a slip of the needle, hitting a nerve, rupturing one, or even saving his life.

"Yura, this is going to hurt okay? But, it might help, I promise.” Her voice quivered, her hand too, struggling to keep a firm grip on the tube. She re-positioned the syringe well gripped under her fingers, her thumb brushing the base and her free hand pushing the sleeve exposing his bicep.

“You have done this before, right?” Yuuri cooed over snuggling in behind Viktor’s shoulder.

Natalya raised her eyes to the young adult scared as anything, herself also, and she lowered the needle. “If plunging an epi-pen into a child’s leg because of a peanut allergy counts, then, yeah, sure.”

Her eyes drifted across the teen shivering and hands clutching at his middle, her eyes glossed knowing she couldn’t screw this up. His life was in her hands now.

“Wait, actually Yuuri could you come and hold him still, just in case, this is going to hurt.”

The last words hissed from her lips, clicking sense in Yuuri’s head. He quickly removed himself, squeezing Viktor’s hand gently before letting go. Time was running out and Natalya wasn’t kidding. The needle on that thing wasn’t your average size, painfully huge and intimidatingly sharp. Lucky it wasn’t blunt. Yuuri straddled his weight on the teen’s legs and placed one hand on his and the other on his side. He pressured a little weight, knowing the second that needle was to pierce his skin Yurio were bound to fight back and Yuuri would have to keep him sane.

“Okay, ready?”

Yuuri nodded tightening his hands a little more.

Yurio hummed a tune in his head to blur the discussion of something embedding into his body. The same tune Yuuri had hinted at a few days back, the tune he was to perform with, the tune he was going to ace with. A vision vividly flickered through his head; hair tied back, skates clicking as he strode to the rink, screams and cries of fans, his fans.

“Yuri! Davai!”

He whipped his head back slipping an ear piece out. Otabek stood in his seat calling out, grinning to his ears waving his arm about. He was grinning, grinning. Who was this man? This was in his head surely, because the last thing he remembered was; he was dying. But this felt so real. Like he was re-living a memory. But he was so sure this was definitely not a memory. His heart even sparked a little within his chest, and a tingling of butterflies fluttered against his stomach. It felt real. Right there, all he wanted. His home, skating, his grandpa, his friends and Otabek.

A heartfelt of joy beamed in his eyes and he jumped in his feet returning the grin. He raised his arm within the comfort of his team jacket and began to wave it frantically above his head. The blond breathed in preparing to exclaim back when a piercing claw squealed at his arm screeching its voice into his cells. He clutched to his arm screaming to the floor. His voice amplified, tears welling up clutching at the thorn excelling throughout his arm. The fantasy vision faded quickly whirling beneath his feet and he was back on the sofa with hands and arms wriggling at his sides and Natalya’s voice ringing out.

“No, no Yura, you can’t tense okay? I know it hurts but please don’t tense, it’ll only make it worse.” Her hand gripped a syringe jabbed into his arm, injecting a yellow liquid. “Yuuri help please!”

Katsuki was sitting on his legs digging his weight down grabbing hold his arms halting them in place from flinging about.

“I’m really trying. He’s-”

Yurio couldn’t tell if he was screaming to the pain of the needle jabbing his skin or to whatever was injected into him eating at all nerves in his body. This was doing the absolute opposite of helping him, it was excruciating, like nails being punctured through his skin. He was so sure his eyes were to roll to the back of his head and pass out any second, but he kept hearing his voice cry and his throat crack at the feeling of little teeth gnawing at his flesh. This was worse than then the pain he’d felt earlier.

And with the next cry his world had grown dark, passing out before he encountered it coming.

“Oh, thank god.” Natalya exhaled deeply as she placed the syringe down and rested her head beside the teen’s body. “I thought he was never going to stop…d-do you think it worked?”

Yuuri chuckled from exhaustion relaxing his hands in his lap, “I-I hope so…Viktor?” He turned his head tilting it at the Russian sitting at the table with his back to them.

The air filled with an eerie silence, tightening a knot of unease in Yuuri’s stomach. He built a small motion of courage to remove himself from the sofa, Natalya tugging him back and her sigh shifting the silence threw him back a step.

“Viktor…I can explain…” she mumbled standing to her feet. “Look, brother, I know what it seems, but, it’s not like that.”

“You shouldn’t lie Natalya.”

“I never lied, and I won’t lie to you. If you just let me explain.”

The silver locks of his fringe bounced as his head turned slightly, still distant from meeting Natalya’s eyes. “So, what was in it? The syringe.”

Her face immediately fell, heart sinking also. After everything- now, she couldn’t tell him. He would hate her too, just like mother and father. “That, I can’t tell you, only because I don’t actually know.” She held her ground, she hadn’t lied to him yet.

“So…what was it for?” He hissed, ever so subtle it sent a shiver down her spine tingling the hairs on her arms.

“I also don’t know.” Now she had lied.

“And you just happened to inject it into Yurio, hoping for the best?!” Viktor was standing now and the chair had fallen back, still with his face in the shadows.

“It’s for the better, brother, please.” Natalya was desperate to hide beneath her beanie, she always did shielding her from the evil, as she would when she was young. It was her instinct after one brother left, then soon the other, they were her protectors. Now, one gone and the other angry, despising against their own blood.

She stood tall, despite her height, and strode up behind. “You may not believe me, and think I’m lying. But believe me when I tell you this, it was given, just like I did with the phone five years ago. I don’t know what or why but I know it had something do this with all this. So yes, I trust myself that it should work, if it doesn’t I’ll take the blame.”

Viktor felt a gloss in his eyes and gulped deep swallowing the betrayal. He spun around facing the grey eyes brushing over his movement before spearing up at his. “I’ve been thinking.”

“S-sorry what?”

“I want to speak to them. About this. Whatever the fuck is happening, and why. And plus I would love to see the look on their faces-“

“Y-you can’t! Viktor, you can’t be serious!”

“Don’t worry. I won’t go alone, Yuuri will be there.”

What? The words ‘Yuuri will be there’ rung like a death sentence. Her eyes flared at the thought of it, shrinking under the stare of her brother glooming over her. Was this his plan? Just walk straight in. They couldn’t-no, she wouldn’t allow them to.  
“What about Yura?!” She managed to blurt out.

“He’ll stay here of course, its safest.”

“You don’t even know where to go!”

“Natalya, that’s why I’m asking you.” He explained holding a finger to his lips.

………

An hour had passed, tense and quiet. Yuuri spent scanning his hands on any book appealing to his eyes, wishing Natalya had a sense of what Manga were. But he didn’t mind the novels, despite half translated in Russian.

His eyes caught a glimpse of English at the title ‘The Ice Princess’ and pulled it afar from the shelf. His finger brushed the cover enduring the popularity of the book with its reviews printed along the bottom. A snort slipped his throat as he read the blurb. Of course, thriller. He brushed the tip of his thumb along the pages skimming glimpses of printed English and tucked the novel under his arm. His eyes raised back to the shelf blinking to the collection of the crime-riddled books written by the same author. He shrugged in amusement of Natalya’s eerie genre and kneeled to the bottom shelf.

Viktor leaned his backside against the wood of the table thoroughly thinking over the next few days. Was he ready? No, defiantly not. His head spun effortlessly sending himself to all hells of being light-headed the second he pictured them, his parents.

A child-like chuckle from across the room grew a tingle of curiosity.

The Russian walked quietly towards his partner hovering over a book spread wide across his arms, bypassing Natalya, eyes closed, head resting beside the blond, who still out himself. A muffled shriek escaped the man’s lips as Viktor slipped his arms under and tugged his hips close.

“What’s that hmm?”

The book slammed shut almost immediately, sending dust in every direction. “N-nothing.”

“What? No, let me see.” Viktor whined reaching an arm over Yuuri’s.

“No! You won’t let me finish if I show you!”

“Please, I’ll be good, I promise.” Viktor pressed soft kisses to his cheek and neck, teasingly pleading Yuuri for him to show what was apparently not for Viktor’s eyes.

Yuuri growled under the hot touch of the Russian's heated breath flattering the skin of his neck, “Okay! Okay! Stop!” He giggled drawing his head from the temptation.

“Here.” He held out the book placing the worn fabric in his Viktor’s hands before rapidly tugging it back to his chest, “But, you might want to brace yourself.”

Viktor blinked and nodded slightly. The book-no album, sunk into his grip and he recognized the second his eyes caught the cover. “Yuuri…”

A hand rubbed the side of his arm and brushed over his hand, comforting Viktor’s nerves a little. “I know, but trust me. We don’t have to look at them all, but the first few will be okay.”

Yuuri sat on the floor, back against the wall and patting his hand beside him inviting Viktor to sit. Viktor accepted and cuddled into Yuuri’s side placing the photo-album across their laps.

“How old were you here?” Yuuri asked, tapping a photograph of two silver headed kids, grins wide, hugging each other tight amongst the snow behind.

“Uh…I, six and she, one maybe two?”

“You look cute…you barely have any teeth here! Haha! Aw! Viktor!”

The glisten in Yuuri’s eyes barrelling down towards the photos filled Viktor’s heart with a warm sensation. He snuggled his face into the base of his neck and nuzzled his adoration under Yuuri’s chin. Yuuri returned the snuggle resting his head upon the man beneath, turning the page.

“What about this one?...”

Viktor raised his chest and the softness in his eyes faded, he slanted his weight deep into Yuuri’s burying the sudden sadness that brewed in his heart. “That, would be Kostya.”

Yuuri shifted and zoomed his stare on the photograph, “Wow…really?”

The young boy with ruffled hair a light shade of brown, close to strawberry blonde, spinning a younger Viktor, both laughing in the moment with rosy-cheeks to the cold air, stunned Yuuri’s eyes. He pictured Kostya to look troubled and disturbed, not laughing in embrace with a sibling that he later abused no matter the reason. This boy was innocence and a loving youth, not the Kostya Yuuri had expected.

“He was about fourteen there, leaving me four, I guess…”

“There’s a ten gap between you both?” Yuuri asked, but Viktor could feel the disgust behind his voice. He nodded against his collarbone not wishing to speak, the memory of it all resurfaced the plan of what was in store tomorrow.

Movement from the sofa distracted both men stringing their attention to the girl flicking her head against Yurio’s chest. They paused in the moment, realizing what she was doing, bodies tensing together. She was listening for his heart.

“Guys…” she mouthed, not willing to disrupt the silence.

Yuuri got up first, closing the album and tucking it in place on the bottom shelf, and turning to give Viktor a hand.

Both shuffled their weight beside the girl who’s eyes panicking and lightly brimming with tears. Her locks fell over her cheeks as she began to shake her head rapidly screwing up her face, holding the tears back.

“Natalya…” Viktor placed a hand on her shoulder raising her from the teen’s body.

She pulled back, refusing to accept. “No, no, he can’t-“ Her fists balled and gripped at his jacket tugging at the unresponsive weight beneath her. “Viktor, he just can’t!”

“Natalya, I know.”

“No! No, you don’t! There’s a lot more to this than you think! So, stop trying to get involved! And he can’t just die!” Her gripped tighten and so did Viktor’s, pulling her up to her feet.

In panic she threw her side at his chest catching him off guard then shoving her hands once more, sending him to his ass with Yuuri quickly by his side.  
Tears streaming down her cheeks, but not crying, she extended both arms above her head preparing to slam down on his chest. “He can’t die! Not now!” She yelled before throwing her fists down at his ribs, with a loud thud. Still dead weight and motionless she threw her arms again, now crying at her failure.

She waited a few seconds crying harder as the silence grew, raising her hands once more with little hope she carried, throwing them down at his ribs. A loud gasp from the boy’s mouth, then, frantic breaths jumped Natalya to her ankles stumbling back and crying into her hands.

Yurio hunched forwards clutching at his ribs and barking into his hands from the beatings, sobbing himself when he came to realize what had just happened.

………

Viktor grabbed the teen tight, not knowing if this was their last goodbye, who knew where this was going next. Yurio surprisingly hugged him back, burying his face into the man’s chest, sobbing a little. A pair of hands pushed him off following with soft laughter.

“Don’t tell me you’re crying.”

The blond nodded curving his lips into a smile, for effort it was great but presentation behind a sniffle and a pale face, not as great.

Viktor pulled him in for one last hug, before removing himself and reaching for the front door where Yuuri and Natayla stood outside packing the car. A grip on his arm startled the man and turned his gaze to the teen.

“Viktor…be careful yeah?”

“Don’t worry about us, take care of yourself. Try to stay inside.”

The young Russian nodded again, and Viktor stepped onto the front porch squinting as the sour breeze tickled his ears and nose. He took a moment standing on the porch, this wasn’t the exact house he grew up in, but, close too. He stood tall, and watched the sky. It was morning, but hardly daylight.

Passing down the steps he grabbed the fuel can and strode through the snow towards the two by the car. Viktor slipped the can into Natalya’s hand and she fitted it into the boot while Viktor threw his arms around Yuuri’s waist slipping his fingers into his back pockets and luring him close.

The two shared a muffled laugh before being interrupted by Natalya’s achingly long sigh. “Really? I mean you couldn’t at least say goodbye to your little sister, then drive a few blocks away before groping your partner’s ass.”

Viktor pulled himself away from the man, motioning him to get in the car. “Sorry, couldn’t help myself, he just makes me want to-“

“Viktor.”

“Hmm? You interrupted me?” He frowned into his hands placed before him as if they were still grabbing hold of Yuuri’s ass. “I’m just kidding Natalya. I love him, seriously, could not help myself.”

The girl cocked any eyebrow and raised a hand to his chest, pausing him from hugging her. “This is what I’m talking about. You’ve got to be careful brother. Especially around mother and father. Don’t you get that?”

Viktor softened his expression, of course he knew that. He just, didn’t care. He loved Yuuri deeper than anything he could ever think of, literally not a thing came to mind that could express his love for him. He fell deep and he fell hard. And if anyone were willing to take that away from him, he wouldn’t stop for the world to get it back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I purposely didn't and most likely won't give a proper description of their car. Only because, honestly, my little ass couldn't decided on whether going all out and making it a classic gay/victuuri type of car, or just a chill-still expensive- but chill, average car. So, I'll let your imaginations go wild and just roll with what you feel comfortable picturing. 
> 
> ily all, thank you for all the support on this<3


	8. We All Have A Switch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Viktor and Yuuri get an insight of what has happened to their country, in a joyride to Viktor's past.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *chuckles* One hell of a joyride. sry sry i'll stop now. 
> 
> I know I know I know, it's been foreverrrr. But enjoy this chapter, it's a little long, with bits and pieces of angst heh, *clears throat* I will not say anymore, read, enjoy and there is more notes at the end ;)

“Viktor, are you sure about this?”

“No, Yuuri, I’m not sure of anything at the moment.”

“W-what do you mean by anything?” Yuuri shrunk down in his seat at the thought of how far Viktor was planning to go with his parents, they were government officials weren’t they? Well at least that’s what he had heard from Yurio.

Viktor’s knuckles whitened as he gripped the wheel. “Why is this happening? Why now? We were going to get married for Christs sake. And why does it seem to be only getting darker by each day? If the nuclear was deliberate or just a mistake. Will we get sick? I don’t want to lose you, Yuuri. A-and what about my parents, I’m terrified to my gut, what are they going to say? Are they going to say anything, anything at all? What are they going to do when they see you, with me, what will they do to me? Yuuri, I’m fucking terrified and I don’t know-“  
He cut himself off before he started his own anxiety attack while driving, on these roads that only seem to become slipperier by day.

“Viktor, it’s okay to be scared.”

“I know, love, I know.”

He was right though, about the sky and snow, thought Yuuri. His eyes drifted to the glimpses of the outside wilderness lurking beyond the car window, which was slowly fogging at the corners with grimy ice. Not good. The snow had darken to a grey slur and forming in patches the heavier it fell over the days, and the sky was following, shadowing to a dirty grey, almost intimidating darkness itself.

The driving was a bore, and most of the time silent. There were radio stations, if you were up to listening to the sound of a continuous silent flickers. And both men when leaving their home in St. Petersburg, depressingly left behind all CD’s and cassette tapes with hold of songs that had special meaning to them.

Yuuri had an urge to break the silence, although not quite sure if he was going to regret mentioning it. “I wanted to ask this for a while, but I didn’t want to sound stupid.”

“Yuuri, not a word that comes from your mouth would be stupid, of course not dumb-stupid, but cute-stupid maybe.”

Yuuri felt a rush of ease as his shoulders rocked slightly to him chuckling. But his anxiety jumped back the second he rolled his tongue to speak. “W-where are we? And where exactly are we headed? B-because I haven’t been to Russia a lot and I honestly have no clue a-and-“

Viktor hushed him from continuing with a warm clutch to his thigh, “There’s no need to explain why you don’t know, I wouldn’t expect you to.”

Viktor noticed the Japanese man’s face blushing red to his ears, it always happened when he caught him surprised and unnoticed to his movement. Viktor removed his hand from under the man’s inner thigh and tapped upon the dash.  
“There’s a map in the glove-box just above your knees, it has markings on where we are headed. We are just on the out-skirts of Danilov, and it took us about ten hours to drive there from home considering how slow we took at first.”

Yuuri unfolded the crusted paper across his lap and scanned his eyes from St. Petersburg to a small location surrounded by forestry markings and highlighted in a pink marker, with written above 'home’ in small cursive writing.

“Okay. But where are we heading now?”

Viktor slowed the car and leaned over his lap tracing his finger along the paper. His finger hovered over a location, surrounded by rivers and smaller suburbs highlighted in blue. He tapped it frigidly and raised his eyes to the road again. The marked spot shared the same handwriting, but read 'Mom and Dad’.

“Natalya noted that mother and fath-they and the Federation Council had split in groups across the country to try and support it, I guess. They are supposedly there in Nizhny Novgorod, about seven-eight hours drive considering the roads conditions and towns we’re going to pass, it may take longer.”

Yuuri frowned into his glasses, sneering to the map of Russians and their stupid fancy European names of gibberish that only sound fluent when Viktor said it. “Nizh Nizh what?”

Viktor burst out a laughter and shortened it with an unsteady hum, “Nizhny Novgorod, don’t worry.”

Yuuri sighed, he was worried, he liked Natalya, but, all they’ve been through her lies were digging at that small trust he held for the Russian girl. “Have you really thought this through Viktor? I mean are you truly sure, you’re are completely up to this? What if Natalya is lying and-”

“Yuuri, hush, please. I’ve seen dangerous lies within this family, and hers aren’t lies to re-consider your trust, it was her warning.”

………

Every small town the couple drove through with every slow hour only grew the silence and distance of warmth within the car, and not because of emotions eating at them both. The atmosphere was eerie and sad and called for an attention of quiet. Each town, each highway, each back-road covered in cloaks of thick and dirtied snow, houses and cars hiding beneath shallow layers of ice. Not a human soul in sight. Nonetheless, some bodies lay buried under white with shoes poking out or briefly visible heads, hands, sometimes clothes.  
Each dead weight they drove past the same mumbled conversation spiked.

“You think radiation?”

“Mmm.”

“Radiation?”

“Could be.”

“Starvation? Froze to death?”

“Maybe.”

“Do you think-“

“Yes.”

………

An hour later and Yuuri still tense as a rock, dazed by the millions of unanswered questions he had in mind.

“You should be sleeping Yuuri, you are to drive soon. I don’t want anything to go wrong…Yuuri are you listening? Yuuri? Love?”

A word deeply whispered in Russian which Viktor had said many times before and Yuuri recognized in less than a heartbeat turned his eyes to the focused man, “Sorry. I, um.”

“No need to apologize, just tell me what’s on your mind.”

“It’s okay, I don’t want to bother you about it.”

Viktor removed his attention from the road and frowned to the pair of brown eyes shimmering at his. “I’m starting to worry for you Yuuri.”

Yuuri sighed and brushed a hand under the silver bangs cupping his fiance’s cheek. “That’s why I’m not asking, I’m worried too, of how you’re going to react.”

His eyes glossed over to the sudden coldness to his cheek, Yuuri’s hand was cold, ice. Did he not feel that? Maybe he did. Viktor smiled not wishing to worry the man anymore then he already seemed to be and nuzzled into his hand, even though it still sent a coldness through his skin. “Ask me, please.”

The hand slipped back to Yuuri’s lap and Viktor watched closely, hazel eyes began to sparkle but quickly faded. “Yuuri, don’t hesitate to speak.”

Yuuri’s jawed opened a little, shocked to how fast Viktor could catch on to his anxiety and avoidance. Sometimes he wished he could do the same. “How-How long has it been since you last saw…them?” He hesitated. He had too. He knew he said 'them', but he was so close to saying ‘parents’ and who knows what could have gone down, that’s what he was worried about most.

Viktor blinked and his hand twitched, that Yuuri caught on.

Viktor leaned back into his seat and accelerated the car a little without notice, but again, Yuuri did. He breathed out heavily and ignored the twirl in is gut, “I was eleven the day I left, that was the last time…” He whined and bit down on his tongue as the twirling grew, building its own tornado of beans that had eaten from a can half hour ago, he could almost taste it tickling the back of his throat.  
He exhaled with extreme discomfort and continued, “And that day Natalya was there, she knew, Yuuri she knew, she fucking knew so why, why wouldn’t she not know now!”

“Viktor, I’m sure there is a good reason why she doesn’t, maybe she...forgot...or-“

A sudden sharpness in Viktor’s face–pale almost, knocked Yuuri from his words. The car had stopped rolling and Viktor’s hand was shifting the gear into park. He offered his comfort reaching his hand towards his shoulder, but the Russian had moved and opened the door before his fingertips touched it.

“I-I need to get out, of-of the car.” His voice was choked, sending Yuuri’s alarms ringing in every direction.

He nodded and followed the ill-faced man outside, running around the trunk of the car and stabilizing his weight as he lost his footsteps to what sickened his sight. One hand placed on a tree balancing himself as his back arched hurling into a bush. Yuuri panicked at the thought of it-radiation- but shook it off, it could be nerves, sadness, it could be anxiety. He thought back to the many times he had almost thrown up himself because of his attacks, once he did, but, the thought of what happened to Yurio haunted him too.

Yuuri met the Russian half way who was wiping his face with the sleeve of his sweater and pressing his other hand to his eyes well brimmed with tears. He padded him down as if he was a part of a bomb-squad through security of an airport, “Viktor…a-are you okay? Y-you’re not sick or anything are you?!”

“No, no, I feel fine, just-Yuuri what about you? How do you feel?” Viktor mentioned as his mind re-crossed the temperature to his cheek from his soft-usually warm-hands.

The man nodded rapidly as his eyes flicked up and down along Viktor’s body. “I’m fine. Y-you sure you’re okay?”

“I’m nervous Yuuri, and scared and so nervous and-“

Yuuri pulled him to a hug, wrapping his arms around his back holding him close. “Okay, okay, don’t say anything more just breathe and try to relax.”

Viktor returned the hug and rested his head upon Yuuri’s shoulder for comfort, he felt sick doing so, but, he enjoyed the little warmth Yuuri held at heart. They stayed there for a while, exposing themselves to the air wrapped in each other’s arms, locked in each other’s love. A finger brushed over the ring on Viktor’s hand clutching to Yuuri’s waist and he honestly, deeply, thought to himself how as soon as this shit-storm were to pass, he was marrying that man in a heartbeat.

Yuuri leaned back first untangling one another but still stood an intimidating closeness. “I’ll drive for now, y-you need some rest.”

………

***19 years ago***

“Brother! Wait! Stop, stop stop stop! I SAID STOP!”

Viktor threw his gaze back grabbing his sister by her small wrist, and dragged her further into the woods out of sight. “You need to be quiet, okay?” His words were breathless and his eyes darting and his heart crying but running for its own life, just like he was.

“Please, I can fix. Please, I know what they are doing, what big big brother is doing. P-Please don’t leave me, all by myself, with them.”

Viktor released his panic from her wrist, and slung the backpack over his shoulder, the one he’d prepared by their boulder. The boulder they would always run to, their once secret place. Not so secret anymore. “I want you to take care, don’t do anything stupid, watch yourself Natalya. Please.” He wiped her tears away and tugged her close.

She shoved at his chest and balled her little hands into fists, she was trying to fight, why was he allowed to take the easy way out and not her?  
“No! I want to come! Please! What they did is mean! I don’t want to be with them, they are mean. Brother please.”

“Natalya you’re still young, I can’t be responsible if something happens to you.” Viktor leaned down and gently pressed his forehead against hers. Her small head rocked as she sobbed against his.

“Brother, you are special. You are not weird or a faggot like the boys say at school, I mean, you are a faggot but, I don’t know what I’m saying it sounds mean, I don’t want to sound mean! I’m trying to say be a proud faggot! You are special!” Her sobs grew louder and Viktor wrapped his arms around his sister, in her own little mind she understood.

The small shaken body tore out from under his and grew a whimper. If they had taken a second, just one second, if Viktor had looked up from his sister crying he probably could have saved them both.

Natalya was in their father’s arms now, her crying had silenced and her pupils dilated deep within his, the monster’s. He growled in Viktor’s direction and thrust his hand in Natalya’s, sending her body against the boulder. Her body fell limp and sunk into the thin layer of snow, blood seeped out from her hairline dripping down and across her cheekbone, and over her nose, slowly painting the snow with each drop.

“You!” The monster barked, threatening a finger in Viktor’s direction. “Are tormenting the brains of others! Including Natalya! You did that to her! Viktor! For once in your life do something right! Behave! Understand your boundaries! We are your family for fucks sake! Do you not understand the fucking shit you have put us through!”

Viktor scampered his body back a few meters and stood to his feet frustrated, like his sister said, he had to stand proud. But right now, standing on his own two feet were at least a start. “What I did? What I did?! You did that to her! I don’t care what you do to me! Do whatever you want! Natalya has nothing to do with this! What is wrong with you?! How could you call yourself a father?!”

The monster charged at him extending his fist out, “You little shit!”

He prepared himself for the incoming pain, Viktor blocked his face with his arms and leaned further out of reach. This was going to hurt.

A slam of a fist colliding with someone’s jaw crackled and silence breathed the air.

It didn’t hurt.  
It didn’t hit him.  
Did he miss?

Viktor blinked an eye open, widening to both eyes and his jaw dropped to his feet. The monster lay unconscious before him with a purple smear bruising to his face and Kostya was huddling Natalya close to his chest, pressing a rag of some sort to her wound.

“Go!” He yelled.

Why?  
What?  
Why was he helping?

Viktor shook his head in confusion and tears fell hard warming both cheeks, he spun in his heels and started running. If Kostya gave him the chance to run, it needed to be taken. He understood that clearly.

………

A soft voice called out to Viktor arousing his head rested against the window, his eyes squinted to the realization of the ice chill stinging from the glass. He flinched, and pressed his palm against it. The voice sang out to him again and he turned to the gentle sound.

“Viktor, you feeling okay?” Yuuri had repeated for the third time now, watching over how his partner was sleeping for a fair while concerning enough for Yuuri to think the worst.

He nodded yawning in the process, he had a few questions to ask Yuuri but something, some feeling, was holding him back. Whether he was unsure if he was terrified to ask or terrified to know the answer, he asked anyway, it was better knowing than not.

Yuuri half-listening-half-focusing on the icy road ahead, answered Viktor’s questions as best as he could. Something about having seen any others sick, any life, cars, clean areas…too many questions. it was flooding Yuuri’s brain. He nodded to some, others he mumbled a quiet ‘yes’ or ‘no’ most of them were responded with ‘I don’t know’.

The car’s engine slowed catching Viktor’s attention immediately. “What are we out of gas? Yuuri…love-“

“They’re looking at us.”

“Who?” He frowned curious to what he thought Yuuri was hallucinating, he couldn’t see anyone. What was he talking about? Who was ‘they’? He flicked his head back peeping aside the Japanese’s shaggy roots, staring at what he now understood.

A group of people huddled around a small lit fire faced the car staring them directly in the eye. Well at least if felt that, almost intimidating, even though he knew they were more privileged with sources. Viktor leaned close reaching for a shield or something, an exit, like now. “Keep driving.” He whispered.

“B-but look at them.”

He understood what despair Yuuri had built up within, their eyes were cold and dull, cheeks sunken and skin faded, arms clutching desperate at their ribs staring out from beneath their coats.

One, who seemed the eldest, face riddled crusty facial hair had stepped forwards and was hobbling towards the car. Yuuri didn’t remove his foot from the brake and Viktor hadn’t flinched a muscle.

The man grunted with each slow step, Yuuri only noticed the closer he got. The word ‘Oi’ rung from outside and Yuuri smiled as a small weight jumped off his shoulders, he could speak English. Well it sounded so. He prepared himself to roll down the window when Viktor’s grip surprised him, he turned his head and furrowed his brows towards the Russian but got no response verbally, his eyes were shaking, pleading for him to wait.

“Do you speak any English?”

Yuuri grumbled behind his glasses as a thick accented voice spoke in Russian beside the window. He had recognized the words, Viktor had taught him so, once. But it didn’t catch onto him.

A hand reached over his lap and a cold breeze sent Yuuri to flinch, he’d forgotten how cold the temperature had been the past few days. Of course it had dropped even more so. Viktor’s voice beamed beside him speaking to man in English. “Yes, you?”

The man nodded, “Yes. Small. Not good.”

“Okay.” Viktor nodded back understandably, letting himself think before speaking again, in Russian.

Yuuri focused his eyes away from the conversation he had long given up on, but strangely the deep fluent flow of words in another language being said close to his ear, with Viktor’s voice, was turning him on. He hissed to how immature he felt but he couldn’t help it, it was a sexy tone that excited Yuuri’s skin.

He turned his attention to Viktor as his head was close with his, locking eyes, again strangely he wasn’t turned on anymore, he was staring into two pools of worry. Not quite something that usually sent his head swooning. “He just wants some food for him and his family, maybe a drink or two-“

“I’ll get it, you stay.” Yuuri cut him off with a dry peck on the lips then removed himself from the car sliding his weight past the man. Who, was a lot huskier and taller than he looked.

“Th-thank you.” The man stuttered, again bitterly annoying Yuuri with his accent.

Yuuri opened the trunk glancing over several black bags, a few sport bags, some just backpacks. He reached to the far back and grabbed hold of a small backpack with the name ‘Yuri. P’ scribbled along the bottom and unzipped it open.

Viktor adjusted the mirror above him with view to where Yuuri stood hidden behind the trunk and the man standing aside barely making Viktor’s sight, who seemed to be frowning to himself. He cursed under his breath, it bothered him that the man held a frown instead of a smile or a look of ease. His eyes flicked to the group frozen still by the fire, they seemed normal enough. These were Russians after all, why was everything so calm? He watched closely furrowing his brows deeper, he felt like something was missing.

One standing to the side of the group turned in his stand showing a handgun tucked in the back of his pants. The man leaned close to another and whispered to the female. As the man swayed his weight back the female held a broad smirk, that Viktor read instinctively, his heart dropping to his stomach and his veins brooding as he struggled to get his weight out of the car fumbling the over the locked handle.

Yuuri began to zip the bag back up with one hand the other handing the last bottle of water to the man.

Viktor flicked his eyes back to the mirror gathering sight of the man balling one fist. He threw his hand to the other door and unlocked the car then furiously jumped back to his own door thrashing it open. “Yuuri, No!“

Yuuri jumped within his own skin as he heard Viktor’s door swing open and his voice barking in panic, his arm was reached deep in the trunk, he jolted back as the man spoke but it was too late, he was too far within the trunk of the car.

“Look, you look like a nice kid, and don’t take this the wrong way, I do respect gays but I have to do this. Y’know for survival. I’m sorry.”

The thorns of anxiety dug deep pricking each cell and nerve in Yuuri’s mind, repeating each word the man just said loud and clear in perfectly fluent English. They were fooled, manipulated, and Yuuri regretted deeply. He should have listened to Viktor. If he kept driving they wouldn’t be stuck here. If he kept driving he wouldn’t be staring at what could quite possibly be his death. If he kept driving maybe they could have been in that place Viktor was talking about. If he-

The back of his hair knotted, yanking his weight afar from the car, his feet followed keeping balance. The tight grip of a strong giant pulled back again and flung him forwards, his head crashing forcibly fast towards the trunk with nothing to stop him. Both arms flew defensive reaching to decrease any chance of incoming pain, but he wasn’t fast enough.

The snow beneath his cheek seemed to be the only thing keeping him from passing out, he didn’t know if he was whining or crying, he could feel tears and he could see blood. It was printed on the snow and dripping down one eye, the eye he couldn’t see out of. His head hurt too, and his body, everything hurt, emotionally and physically. He just wanted to go home, Yuuri just wanted to go home. He attempted to call out to Viktor who was angled in his view yelling and crying in Russian, with a crowbar in his hand. W-when did he get access to a crowbar? He was swinging it, threatening them, them, the cruel twist of humanity when all hell broke loose. Yuuri called out to stop him but he couldn’t find his vocals.

Viktor’s eyes came into view of the eye that Yuuri could see from, blurred but still visible. His eyes were be-riddled red and his cheeks puffy, he’d been crying harder than Yuuri imagined. “You’re okay, you’re okay, you’re okay.” He whispered, choking from his sobs. “It-It’s not that much blood it’s only a small cut, not too deep, but your eye is most likely bruised, Yuuri, I’m so sorry I let this happen it’s my fault, it’s all my fault. Can you hear me? D-do you understand me? Squeeze my hand if you understand okay?”

Yuuri could hear him, every word and every cry. Viktor’s fingers were already intertwined with his holding close to his heart waiting for Yuuri to respond. And he tried, he did, but his head was crying louder, draining all energy from his limbs. He managed to squeeze his flesh against Viktor’s it was weak and like the grip of a newborn, but the look in Viktor’s eye, the spark, the little hope. The tears started again and his chest was tugged up and close to his. Viktor’s heart was racing, panicking, thumbing against Yuuri’s shoulder. Yuuri thought he said he was okay, so why was his heart so unsettled? Why was he lying?

They both cried in each other’s arms, just them alone in the dark of the abandoned highway, Viktor cradling Yuuri, protecting the only thing he felt he had left, wishing he had been the one to get out and not Yuuri. Slowly, he gently pressed his fingers to the wound brushing the blood and grimy snow from the aside his face, sobbing as he did so. Yuuri had stopped crying and tried his best resisting to wince when Viktor’s touch caressed the wound that reached from his brow to under his eye, swollen and bruised.

“W-where’d they go?” Yuuri quietly managed to murmur, sniffling into Viktor’s chest.

“They took off…I-I lost my shit and screamed about everything that was fucking with my life, but I don’t know Yuuri I was scared, and you shouldn’t be talking, so hush, please.” Viktor had stopped trickling his fingers across Yuuri’s eye and had lowered to his chin, rubbing the bottom of his lip.

Yuuri watched the unease consuming the face staring down at him and lifted his chin to speak. “Stop crying like it’s your fault, it’s not Viktor, it’s not.”

The blue eyes fell from his gaze. “But it is, everything has been always my fault.”

They way ‘everything’ rolled from Viktor’s tongue stung Yuuri’s heart. This ached more than the wound that carried on his head. Viktor had urged him to stay quiet but how could he not fight back? What he was talking about wasn’t his fault. How could something like that be his fault? “Viktor…being gay isn’t your fault. It’s not anyone’s fault. It isn’t even a fault, so don’t think because you’re gay and was a disgrace to your parents makes all this your fault. Okay?”

Viktor kept his face still, heart sinking, why did Yuuri get him like that?

………

“Yuuri, hey, wake up now. We’re here, I believe.”

Yuuri spiked one brow and cocked his head to the side not being able to hold it up, weak and heavy to the pain lingering, although it felt numb. His entire head just, blank. The car was rolling at a slow speed, driving between parked cars, it was dark and not a lot was visible. Snow was falling, drifting in shape of little flakes in the beam of the headlights.

“For a city, It’s so quiet. I thought we would see more people.” Mumbled Yuuri, as he gathered all his strength to grab his coat from the back seat.

“I know, I thought that too.” Viktor pulled the car to a halt, ahead of them lay cars parked in rows, impossible to drive through without damage. Further ahead a razor-wired fence defended off the freeway. Quite similar to the one in St. Petersburg, but it wasn’t blocking off a road, behind the fence the centre of the town was dimly lit by a few back-up generated power lights. They were here.

Amy bases were set up aside each light, radios distantly blaring, small ruckus of hiccups and laughter stretched throughout the darkness. And another solider, no two, were standing guard beside a post outside the fence.

“You ready?”

Viktor was standing in the snow with Yuuri’s door open, holding his hand out waiting for Yuuri, who’s eyes stuck on the fence. Viktor placed a hand on his face stroking the wound which had healed slightly, and the bruise had purpled, swelling in the corner of his eye. “Does it hurt?”

Yuuri shook his head finally in sync with Viktor’s eyes. “Can’t really feel anything.”

“Your skin feels cold, are you feeling okay? Please, Yuuri if anything feels wrong just let me know, I don’t want the same to happen what happened with Yurio, we were almost too late-“

“Viktor, I know, I know. But I promise I feel fine.” He grabbed his hand and jumped out of the car sinking into the snow.

They left everything in the car, but one backpack Yuuri carried, nothing else was highly important and who knows what was bound to happen the second they stepped past that fence. What would happen if they couldn’t even get past the fence? Yuuri noticed the assault rifle slung over the shoulder of one solider and stepped back. Viktor noticed and pushed him forwards, this was Russia, they were in destruct, could almost call it war, survival, call it whatever, but they had to be strong.

One solider side-stepped first snarling in Russian, tall with broad shoulders. The other noticed and shoved him back, he reached a taller height with a smaller build. “Do you prefer English or Russian?” He asked.

“English please!” Yuuri pleaded without hesitation, he was sick of not understanding it made him feel weak.

“Okay, okay. You two seem like you’ve traveled far.” The solider smiled, holding a hand out to both.

The other scratched the stubble that shaped his jaw, “Hey! This isn’t all laughs and smiles, get your shit together. Where’s your ID’s? This is for residents only.”

Mr. Nice became the nickname to the other soldier in Yuuri's mind. He had frowned and grasped the collar of the other soldier, “Do I have to remind who’s Colonel? They look like they’ve been through hell, be easy. Otherwise I’m sending you down that road.” His finger pointed sharply towards the couple, obviously not at them, but a threat to be alone out behind them.

The solider struggling to hold his feet froze and pursed his lips towards Mr. Nice and spat in his face.

The taller one let go and threw a fist back sending him to the ground. “Fucks sake! You moron! Do you have a death wish or something?! I come out to guard one night! One fucking night to see what you lads put up with! And this is how you treat people! God, you may as well belong in the Town Hall with the officials!”

He scrambled back apologizing in sudden fear. “No, no, no, they’re fucked, they’re fucked. Especially the boss, please don’t.”

“Well, there we go, instead I’ll send you there. Now get up.” He turned his attention back to the couple and huffed. “Sorry, where we were?” Holding out his hand again.

Viktor took the hand with firm grip, “Sorry, what did you say about the officials?”

The Colonel cocked his eyebrows and laughed, “Don’t worry. Just a joke us comrade's share, he is right though, we do need an ID of something, if you’re aren’t residents I’m sure we can figure something out.”

Viktor reached in his pockets first handing over his driver’s license.

Yuuri fumbled to grab his when the Colonel choked flicking his gaze between Viktor and his license. “Ni-Nikiforov as in Nikiforov?” He stepped forwards studying Viktor’s features, shaking his head.

The other solider joined him and grabbed the license. “Hohoho, you’ve got to be kidding. We didn’t know the boss had another son, sure his daughter is quite fine. Little short but she’s got some looks.” He smirked reading Viktor’s unease. “His eldest, haven’t seen him around in a while. You must be the middle one, the one that’s never been around, never been accepted. Fag.”

The Colonel scoffed in disappointment stepping back from Viktor’s face. He stared down the other solider, then swung the gun from his shoulder and smashed the end to his face. “You got a problem with gays?!”

He hobbled to the ground, spitting blood into the snow and a tooth fell with it. “Shit, what? Are you gay Colonel?”

“I have a wife and kids, moron. I just have sense and respect to all human beings.” He sighed and turned to the fence. “Hey! Alexei! Open the gate would ya? And join dumbass out here, someone else can cover your shift!”

The gate cranked and a hatch unlocked, the Colonel strode forwards shoving the rifle against the fence pushing it wide, Yuuri and Viktor followed behind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *heavily sighs* This fic is probably closing around 11-12 chapters..maybe 11 with an epilogue to the story. I hesitated on the fic lately because I struggled to find an ending that differed from the novel, but I'm okay now I pictured one kinda cheesy and kind fits in with everything, I just, ah I don't want to spoil anything!  
> But,  
> Goddamn is their some angst coming your way in the next few chapters...
> 
> I am so very sorry again for leaving it so long, I can't even begin how bad I feel, the next chapter is ready and depends on how desperate I am it could be uploaded within the next 24hours or less. You could say I'm a little excited..but thank you thank you thank you for those who are still this far and reading it, honestly I'm enjoying writing this but struggling to find the time and oof, I love you all honestly <3


	9. The Reunion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Usually when a family member reunites with another after some time there are tears, a hug or two, laughter and maybe they'd dine somewhere for lunch at a cafe that springs a childhood memory. 
> 
> This, was not the case.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *even bigger sigh* I am sorry this chapter has a lot of yelling and a lot of assholes. 
> 
> Not going to say much more, I'll just let you read, enjoy, I'll shush now. But, the government and army rankings all come from knowledge and a tad bit of research but all more of what I know. So, if you know something I don't know please let me know because this stuff was actually kind of interesting to look at, weird.

The air was quiet, cold, and hallowed with small movement of soldiers shuffling around their camp bases. Apartment buildings were dark and hid disruption from within; windows boarded wooden planks hammered against frames, blinds covering others, and one had a car rammed through a wall.

Yuuri slacked behind processing everything slower than the other two ahead. He guessed they were getting taken to the Town Hall, whatever that meant, and the boss…was that really Vitkor’s father? Was this all happening now? He buried his face within his palms. The other soldier who panicked when he mentioned taking him to this boss sent shivers down his spine.

“Yuuri, it’s going to be okay. Breathe for me, I’m going to need you.”

Viktor was at his side rubbing his shoulders soothing his attack, Yuuri didn’t even notice he was having an attack. His focus was less lately, blanking out at random times, head somewhere else. Wherever that else was he didn’t know. He removed his eyes from his palms, the Colonel was standing ahead gun pointed to the ground smiling towards the two. His eyes met Viktor’s, shining bright with the moonlight shadowing behind him. Yuuri slid one hand to Viktor’s locking their fingers and began to step forwards, Viktor followed his movement joining beside him, strolling aside with the tall soldier.

The silence was filled with the Colonel’s dog tags clanging together with every step he carreid. He noticed himself and tucked them within his jacket, then turning his head to Viktor. “You both seem very tense, when was the last time you saw him…your father?”

Viktor scoffed unintentionally, he just hated the word 'father' especially when it was directed at his. “About 19 years.”

The solider stumbled in shock and re-adjusted the gun within his grip. “Wow. Must have a good reason. What brings you here now?”

“My sister. Saw her just recently. I have a few questions that need answering.”

“Ah, your sister. She’s a bright girl, smart too. She worked with your mother running errands for her, usually would pay us soldiers a visit here and there. She’s sweet and I can see the resemblance in you two. She left about five years ago, when we were all still in Moscow. Said she was done with her family’s crap after she visited you. Did you know that? Alexei and I were supposed to deliver that phone to you, but she insisted.”

Viktor squeezed Yuuri’s hand calling for Yuuri to watch close. “No, I didn’t know that. Thank you.”

Yuuri understood almost immediately and balanced the firm grip on the hand beside him. Viktor was stronger than Yuuri, and he knew that, Yuuri was aware also and shuffled along the path uncomfortably pleading for this conversation to end soon. 

“But, your brother, I don’t know, he disappeared a while back. Nobody said anything. Ah, we’re here. Just give me a second.” He trotted up the stairs passing his gun to another guard dressed in a suit and slipped through a pair of cathedral doors that towered above the couple. A sigh escaped the Russian's breath followed by the grip on Yuuri's fingers finally loosening.

“You okay?” Yuuri whispered close to the pair of eyes cold as stone.

“Okay? Yes. Ready? No.”

The doors creaked open and the man ran back down, “Can’t find him, but we’ll walk through the halls, I’m sure he’s there somewhere.”

Viktor nodded, pulling Yuuri behind as the man directed them in into the sharp building.

The entrance hall inside held a sensation neither of the couple had felt in a long time. A warmth seething at every inch of their skin both exposed and wrapped in layers of clothing. There was no flame or heat that fed this warmth, it was a natural warmth of just being inside a building. Tables aligned the side of the hall, topped up with crates and boxes packed with bottled waters. One room, Yuuri peeps by the door as they pass, its filled with screens and computers spread across desks. Screens upheld maps, highlighting river systems and power-outbreaks. Men with glasses and scruffy hair held papered-files, none wearing suits all in causal outerwear. They were all scribbling notes on paper, some napping on a blanket by the floor, others sipping coffee.  
A weight bumped Yuuri’s shoulder as a man not much taller than him raced out of the room running up towards the Colonel. Yuuri watched as the boy with red hair bounded up to the man with no fear what-so-ever.

“What’s got into you eh? You seem too excited, last night you were crying.”

“I know! I know! But, I did it! I think I found my brother!” His eyes were welled with tears and his hands fumbling over a laptop wrapped in his arms.

“That’s great kid. Let me know if I can help.”

The young man let out a cheer and raced back past grinning from each ear. A clang to the floor echoed as a pair of headphones had slipped from the jacket he was wearing. Yuuri picked the orange headgear and called out to the man.

He spun in his heels crashing into the door frame. He blinked wide behind his glasses and exclaimed loudly jogging back to Yuuri. “Can you imagine if I lost them! I’d die without my babies!”

Yuuri noticed the man was Korean and shared a polite smiled before walking back with Viktor, thinking how strangely that he was here in Russia. Whatever work he was doing was obviously important and did good deeds for the Russians.

They continued turning deeper through another foyer bristling with communication and movement. Heels clicking amongst the ground as women run around with clipboards in hands talking to others with matching attire.  
Viktor paused in his steps and raised a hand to the Colonel. “Why are you helping us?”

The man dropped his face to the floor and returned with a mere smile. “It’s my job, and my wife, she works under your father, it’s hard for her y’know. I don’t get to see her a lot, maybe, I might-“

“Colonel. Explain your situation please.”

The soldier jumped and saluted a hand towards another solider dressed in a fit suit with a hat to match. “Marshal, Sir.” He spoke calmly, with a hand still to his head. “Family of the Nikiforov’s Sir. Could you assist us?”

The man stared bold towards Viktor eyes focusing. His brows furrowed defining the wrinkles that hid beneath the hat. “Sure. Who’s he? The Jap.”

Yuuri flustered and straightened his position. Viktor stood closer but Yuuri took a step aside leaving Viktor to frown as he tried to understand his partner’s tactics.

“He’s with him, Sir.”

“Fair enough. I can tell you’re a Nikiforov. You seemed to be married, glad to see someone with sense from your family.” The Marshal had walked up to Viktor, patting him on the shoulder before turning and walking ahead.

Viktor followed first, confused to why Yuuri was slowing behind and what he meant by married, him and Yuuri shouldn’t have been easily accepted like that–He glanced back towards the frigid man dawdling behind him and noticed he’d taken his ring off. Yuuri had taken the ring off. Why?

Viktor slowed his pace and leaned close to the warmth of Yuuri’s ear. He wasn’t best at Japanese, but if what Viktor had thought correctly of what he was doing, he could not have the Marshal overhear. He didn’t want to repeat what happened with the earlier soldier, not everyone in this building apparently appreciated a gay man. And he knew exactly who to blame. 

“Why did you take your ring off?” He asked, weakly in Japanese.

Yuuri caught on, wanting to smile at his effort but his heart hurt too much. He never intended to take the ring off. He just figured it was their best protection. “I don’t want them to hurt you. It’s better if we just-I’m sorry. I’ll put it back on when we get outside.”

Viktor nodded, he understood most, considering he'd learnt faster than Yuuri did with Russian. He could tell Yuuri was struggling to find words that he could understand and mumbled to close the conversation.

The Colonel glued close behind the Marshal but stepped back every few steps to check up on the couple. They rounded a corner and the air silenced. Viktor had stopped walking, again stuck, like he had done so when they were at the pound. But this wasn’t the pound and he wasn’t looking for something, he wanted to run, flee, hide; anything, he just did not want to be here.

Yuuri noticed the Marshal had quickened in his pace and began talking to a man followed with a short slimmed young boy, and another aged woman in tow. He froze when he heard the name ‘Nikiforov’ slurred in Russian and threw his glance back at Viktor, who was standing a few paces back. He ran up cupping the man’s face. “You can do this. We don’t have to be here for long.”

“I want you to put the ring back on.”

Yuuri’s eyes linked with Viktor’s darting in panic. Was he crazy?  
“No, Viktor I will outside-“

“Yuuri, I want them to see you with that ring. I want them to see I haven’t changed. I want them to understand that I am not here to be their son.” Viktor hands dug into the pocket of his fiance’s coat and pulled the ring sliding it onto his finger. “We need to do this, not me, we.”

Yuuri nodded, inhaling deeply wrapping his fingers with Viktor’s and strode onward down the hall.

A woman in tow wearing a suit cupped her hand to her mouth, her hair reflected Viktor’s, faded with greyer tips and tied back in a high bun. She choked on her surprise turning away from everything. The short man with a coffee in his hand ran to her side and comforted her dearly, she brushed him aside and stood tall with tears falling down her cheeks.  
The older man hadn’t moved, his eyes a deep blue scanning both Viktor and Yuuri. His hair a light brown, short cut with also grey tips. His cheeks sunken in, weakly looking, but his body was built broad and his brows were furrowed thick and a tone growling under his breath.

Silence stood between all, the Colonel had stepped back giving them a recognition of space. The Marshal stood aside with all confusion of the sudden tension.

“Should have cut your hair shorter. You still have that feminine face of yours.” He scowled hissing in Russian.

Viktor retaliated, untangling his fingers from Yuuri’s. “You don’t have the right to speak to me that way.”

The man snorted noticing the closure of the two young men standing before him. “Yet you still walk in here as a disgrace to your family!”

“Stop speaking in fucking Russian so he can understand you! Whatever you have to say, say it in front of Yuuri! God, you are so pathetic! A good friend told me how I only thought of what was best and not what was right. And I said to myself no, because I am not that person! I am not you! You sick pathetic fuck!”

Yuuri intertwined his fingers in Viktor’s again understanding the discomfort, tears were streaming down his face and Yuuri needed to support him even with all fear bottling inside him.

Viktor acknowledged Yuuri’s hold and laughed disgracefully towards his father. “He is just a human being, I am just a human being! All I wanted was for you to accept me! So, I did what you wanted! But that wasn’t going to stop me from marrying the man I deeply love. And you should understand that most! You love her! So why is me loving him any fucking different! He took his fucking ring off just before so you could accept me. I refused. I forced it back on him. Because I love him and there is nothing you can do to stop that. I never stopped you from loving mother, or Natalya. I never did anything. I never did anything-“

“Viktor. Enough.”

His mother had spoken breaking Viktor from his crying. She stepped forwards clutching her own hands to her chest. “We get it. You’ve said enough. We get it.”

He shook his head, “No, no you don’t get it. You’re not the one who dreaded for the evening to come most nights because he was going to…you know what? I’ll save the ruining of your rankings and won’t say what disgusting pigs you really are. Keep manipulating these people. I bet you aren’t even doing anything to save this fucking country.”

“Viktor…” She stepped forwards again and Viktor stepped back wiping the tears from under his eyes.

“Don’t. You aren’t my mother. And he is not my father.” He turned to walk away, ready to give up. A small lie Natayla had said snapped in his veins and he spun back in his heels walking up to the man. “You know I just spent the past three days with Natalya. Whatever lies you’ve been feeding her to tell me, I’ve fucking had enough with it. She doesn’t need any part in this.”

Viktor leaned back and took a deep breath brushing off all emotion. “Now, I have some questions. Could you answer them?”

The older Russian’s jaw flinched and his eye twitched as he stared eye to eye with Viktor. “As a son, no, I cannot. But, as business, follow me.”

The younger Russian was about to breathe, he was terrified of asking that and glad it was almost over. Then, a young girl dressed in an assistant attire bolted down the hall calling out for his father. He turned to the distressed female flashing a clipboard in her hand huffing and puffing all over the joint. He removed his feet from the man’s presence and cuddled back into Yuuri’s arms.

“Mr. Nikiforov another incident with the me-“

“Enough, don’t you see I am busy.” He grumbled and called over for the young man with the coffee to book a meeting room.

Yuuri had drawn his head from Viktor’s chest watching close as the Colonel’s eyes had widened, glistening with worry. The assistant caught contact with him, sharing the same concern. He shook his head towards her, some communication Yuuri couldn’t understand.

The young brunette hesitated, then blinked back to the elder man. “But, Sir…this is important you might want to look at this-“

He snatched the clipboard from her hand and slapped it across her jaw before she could bring another word to the surface. “I said enough!”

Was he allowed to do that? Assault people? Yuuri shivered in grasp of Viktor. He had no sense of what was happening and where this was going. Viktor's arm tighten around Yuuri’s waist, and then it clicked. He had slapped his assistant with direct eye contact of Viktor. The slap wasn’t engaged for the girl, it was deliberately a threat towards Viktor. Yuuri pulled back but Viktor’s arms still tugged at him. “Viktor…he just-“

“I know.”

He handed the clipboard back to the brunette and turned his attention to the Colonel. “I apologize Dmitry, for hitting your wife like that in front of your eyes, but you know how this place works. Go back to the field Colonel.”

Yuuri stood puzzled as a redden print appeared upon on the female’s cheek. She quietly sobbed to herself and whispered something in Russian. The man beside her nodded his head and she dropped the clipboard running up to Dmitry. That was his name. Mr. Nice-Dmitry. The tall man wrapped his arms around the shaken brunette embracing her before removing himself and walking back down the hall.

The awkward silence was stinging in the air again and no one had moved yet. Yuuri’s stomach twisted, the threat was towards Viktor but he didn’t do anything. Yuuri felt sick to his toes, unsafe, still cradled in Viktor’s arms but so incredibly intimidated and uneasy. His eyes drifted around desperately hunting for a distraction. Not much lay around to look at; a pot plant of a tall fern sat in the corner browning at the tips, the small geek had dropped his coffee and was using the jacket to soak the stain, and the clipboard. The clipboard. The assistant mentioned something about an incident, something Viktor’s father had desperately want closed and discussed in a confined area.  
He cocked his head to the side reading the fine print, thankfully in English. Bold red writing read a content of needing high facilities access to read, and something about security item checks. He scanned his eyes down the page, lists of stolen or missing items in sorted in genres spread down on a minor spreadsheet.

‘Food, Blankets, Clothing’

Yuuri skim-read the genres not focused on things he knew had available in the car, if they could ever get back to it. The word ‘Medical’ caught his eye and he squinted to read the smaller printed items counted down below.

‘4x Tight-wrap Bandages, 6x packeted Aspirin, 3x bottles; Children’s Aspirin’

He scanned faster looking for any relation to a medication for radiation, something, anything similar to what Natalya had. His eyes blurred begging for a rest, he was reading too much in such little print. He quickly pressed his eyes shut opening them again and read from where he left of. The word ‘syringe’ uneased his skin as he passed it and shifted his eyes back to the item.

‘12x 50ml syringe; Radiation Defect’

Holy shit.  
Holy fucking shit.

It was right there in front of his eyes. Not one, but twelve were missing, possibly stolen. But how? And why? This could not have just been made in the past week, this had to be planned. Medication for this isn’t as magical as it feels to be. This whole fucking thing would have been planned. That’s the only possible way it would make sense. And that sheet was only recorded of the past two days. Who knew how many more could be out in the world? And who the fuck was passing them around? And Natalya-Yuuri couldn’t even begin to explain to himself how infuriated he felt. Viktor picked up instantly and was brushing his cheeks asking what was wrong but Yuuri couldn’t, he couldn’t bring himself to words.

Viktor’s father also noticed and grabbed hold of the clipboard skimming his eyes quickly and swearing to himself.

Viktor removed himself from Yuuri looking at the frustrated man. “What? What is it?”

The glare that ran deep throughout the family spiked the hairs on Viktor’s arms, his father was carrying a storm in his eyes daggering towards Yuuri and so was his body. He lunged forward yanking hold of the young man’s coat pulling him close to his face.

Yuuri’s feet couldn’t touch the ground. The man was breathing up against his skin, he could smell tobacco and sweat. His lungs managed to push a breath but it got caught half-way. His head fogged and suddenly he couldn’t, he couldn’t, he couldn’t what? Why was, what was this? Anxiety? Where was Viktor?

The older man’s face came close, hissing into Yuuri’s face. “What the fuck do you think you’re doing reading other people’s bus-“

An arm swung into the jaw of the man’s face, dropping both to the floor.  
Yuuri grunted and raised himself first, Viktor raced to him holding the back of his head close and rubbing his knuckles against his pants. Yuuri wanted to squirm out from under Viktor’s embrace, but the resurfacing of what occurred a few hours back he let it be.

The man staggering against the floor groaned, spitting out blood in the process. “You fucking shit. You’re not a Nikiforov. Marshal escort them out. They’ve seen enough.”

The suited solider sighed and wavered his hand in the distance, ordering two suited guards. They strode up with heavy clangs and clawed their arms at Viktor who refused to be dragged out. Yuuri went ease with them and walked himself out, Viktor caused a scene flinging his weight and yelling in Russian towards his father.

Yuuri once outside, dragged himself down and placed his ass on the bottom stair thinking about everything he believed this past week and what he just witnessed. How it all connected, and how everything was complete bullshit. What was Natalya doing with the medication–the missile was definitely not a mistake considering how much of this was fucking planned. And fucking this and fucking that. His head was bound to explode.  


A thud hit the stair above him and Viktor ran up the stairs screaming and kicking at the pair of doors.

He soon stopped and curled in a bawl next to Yuuri sobbing quietly into his shoulder.

“Why are you crying?”

“H-he touched you Yuuri, I promised myself I wouldn’t let anything else bad happen to you and he touched you. Yuuri I’m sorry, I’m so sorry. Please, I’m sick of them and sick of everything. I just want to go home.”

Yuuri nodded and stood first, pulling Viktor to his feet hand in hand. He cupped his face wiping the tears from his cheeks smiling in awe at how broken Viktor looked. In all hell, he did not expect that to be the family Viktor had always cried about. Yuuri didn’t feel sad or upset, or disappointed, just angry. Extremely angry.

Viktor scrunched up his nose and exhaled leaning his forehead upon Yuuri’s. Yuuri exhaled with him and brought the man’s lips down to his. The Russian hummed caught off guard to their closeness and caressed Yuuri’s waist with his hands pulling close. Yuuri was angry and determined for control but he let himself ease, opening his mouth slightly allowing Viktor have control. Viktor was emotional, stranded, unaccepted so Yuuri gave the chance, doing whatever he pleased for this brief moment. Whatever he wanted, Yuuri gave it; Viktor’s tongue leading his, Viktor sucking at the base of his neck tingling every nerve, nibbling at the ear, hand slipping up muscle of his back.

Yuuri’s knees eventually gave weak and he pulled back from swollen lips, wrapping one arm around Viktor dragging him down the street. “C’mon, let’s go home.”

They reached the fence and Dmitry was there ordering around other comrades, barking his lungs. He turned his head as one pointed the couple walking up. “Glad to see you two. Thought you’d be in there longer.”

“We got kicked out, not long after you actually.” Yuuri chuckled.

“Shame. Your father’s a real prick Nikiforov. No offence. And none of you men repeat that! Understood?!” He called out, pointing at each and every soldier standing about. They all nodded ‘yes’ or mumbled under their breaths, some laughed and Dmitry kicked at their knees sending them to the snow.

“None taken.” Viktor replied, clutching dearly at the waist of Yuuri’s coat.

A short man with blonde roots jumped from the door of an army Jeep and nodded towards the men. “Colonel, you know they can’t pass through here until morning. It’s the rules, Sir.”

Dmitry looked up from the man whining beneath him, “Ah, Alexei, yes. Sorry boys, is there someplace you can go?”

Yuuri nodded. “Yes, we do. We’ll um, see you in the morning I suppose.”

The man shared an eye of understanding before sighing gently to himself. “Right. See you.”

After a few minutes of walking, Viktor pulled Yuuri into an alley, decreasing the chance of being seen. “Why did you lie Yuuri? We don’t have anywhere?!”

Yuuri tilted his head and creased his brows, “Viktor, I had to and he knows I lied. But if I said we didn’t that includes us as non-residents, who know what they could have done to us.”

Viktor stepped back flinging his hands in the air, then tugging at his hair. “Wh-where do we go? Yuuri where do we go?”

“Don’t tell me you’re getting upset again.” He laughed, how emotional could this man get?

Viktor looked up, of course he fucking was, he was scared, hurt, abandoned again, and there was a high chance Yuuri was unaware the radiation had affected him. Viktor could feel it, the way he had kissed him earlier his body was cold and only warmed when Viktor lathered his tongue there. H-how did he not, could he not feel it? Tears brimmed his eyes and rolled down his cheeks, he was going to lose Yuuri soon if they didn’t get home. And being out in the cold, here of the night, was only increasing the chance of it.

Yuuri leaned down to his partner hugging his face to his palms sitting beside a trash chute. “Viktor-“

A shadow hovered over and a quiet slow breathing disturbed the two. “Excuse me, are you dears alright?”

Yuuri cocked his head to the spoken English, an old lady with a plastic bag aside smiled down. Curly locks shaped her head and small glasses glistened in the light of a close generated-light source. She kneeled beside them and placed a finger beneath Viktor’s chin turning his face to hers. “Oh, you poor things. By the look on your face, you’ve been through quite some hell, and I’m guessing you don’t have anywhere to go…would you like to come inside?”

Viktor nodded sniffling the snot trickling down his nose. The lady rose to her feet with a crack in her back and picked up the boy’s wallets. “Is this all you have, dears?”

Yuuri scanned the floor around him and patted his back. Crap. They had taken the backpack off him when they entered the Town Hall, of course, they’d probably taken the supplies for their own good.

A humble chuckle slipped from the old lady. “I’ll take that as a yes. Come, come inside.” She said wavering her hand to follow her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bless the old lady honestly <3 
> 
> And yes that may have been a Seven cameo...I just needed some air from writing all that angst fhfh. Sorry. And about the Colonel, I don't know I kind of grew on his character and just wanted a small story to fit it in somewhere *shrugs shoulders*
> 
> The next chapter should be uploaded across the next few days, was actually just working on it just before and gosh it's hefty. And probably the most painful, but it has got its moments in it;)


	10. Too Many Riddles Unsolved

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuuri is well aware of his mental health, unsure how much it will affect him. Viktor's intentions is only to get back safely. Natayla has a trick up her sleeve, but will it crossover with Viktor's past?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know, I know, I've been haitus. But, slowly, things are getting better and under control. Hope you guys understand, have this dear pile of angst ;))))

Yuuri awoke to the coldness riddling within him, groaning as he rose his weight. He blinked in surprise recognizing his surroundings as the guest bedroom they had crashed in a few hours back. Morning sunlight peered through a slit in the boarded window ahead, although it wasn’t yellow and dreamy, just a brighter cloud of grey. Yuuri had gotten used to the differ in night and day under all the choked cloud these past few days. He kicked his feet over the bed with a smile on his face knowing they could go home today. Home, to Yurio and Natalya. Maybe then, back to St. Petersburg.

His heels touched the floor lifting his weight, his head spun instantly knocking him back down to his knees. Grinding his teeth, he clutched the carpet beneath awaiting the pain to pass. The pain didn’t pass. Instead it grew. His nails scraped deeper, the storm still flooded his head, limbs tingling numb, sweat-no tears, no, he couldn’t tell, but something was dripping down his face splashing lightly onto his hands.

A familiar smell flinched him from the migraine clutching as his shirt, he could smell it, he had smelt it before, on Yurio. He stretched the shirt from his chest staring down, eyes fuzzy, at the crusted stain following his collar. Direct alignment to where he felt like he had drooled that night. But, it obviously wasn’t drool. Drool was definitely, most not, a shade of darkened red or shared that familiar smell, of course blood, but different, unique, similar to the aura that bubbled around Yurio when-

He slipped a loud shriek cutting him from his thoughts grabbing his glasses and the closest sweater, possibly Viktor’s-who wasn’t huddled beside him when he woke-and bolted out the door and down the small hall.

His feet followed a corner slowing his pace as he entered a confined living area. Viktor stood almost immediately from the charcoaled-colour sofa, making his way towards Yuuri.

Yuuri froze, eyes still hazy, stuck on the sadness that riddled Viktor. Dark circles under his eyes, holding a slight puffiness. He’d been crying. His arms drooped both sides and his clothes still the same he wore the day before.

The warmth of his hands ruffling Yuuri’s hair sent his stomach unease, when did he become so hot? Or, was Yuuri just cold? Fuck. No. It couldn’t-is this what was causing Viktor to act like this? Had he noticed before?

“Yuuri. I love you.” The man whispered, eyes closed and breathing slow.

The words Yuuri had heard many times in serval ways always with his heart skipping a beat, each with a separate meaning behind. But, that, then, just what was that? It only terrified him more.

“I love you too.”

Viktor pulled his head down, “no, I love you. I love you. I love you.” He choked softly close to his lips.

The long fingers slipped from his roots and pressed against the Russians forehead, turning in his heels with a cry of “excuse me”, before disappearing out the front door.

Yuuri stayed put not noticing the old lady had the kettle boiling in the next room and was tapping at his shoulder.

“Young man, how is your throat?” She asked once both sat down, Yuuri on the sofa, her opposite on a singled-sofa both with a cup of mint tea. She mentioned it was the only tea she had left and the closest store was empty-raided-and almost too far of a walk for her alone.

Yuuri raised both eyebrows to his confusion, “e-excuse me, what?”

The glow in her gentle eyes faded, sending Yuuri’s stomach to twirl again. After a while of silence the lady placed her mug down, opening her lips, “your partner, he struggled to sleep last night, dear. He was worried of you. He loves you dearly, I can tell.” She raised her weight offering to take Yuuri’s mug to the kitchen. He gave it to her and she continued, “What I meant was, how are you feeling? You seem to not remember much of last night.”

Yuuri jumped from the sofa rushing behind, “s-sorry?”

Her fragile hand pressed against his chest, blocking him from entering the kitchen. “You should discuss that with him, he’s on the front porch, dear.”

Yuuri nodded, still in full confusion. W-what happened? Did he complain he felt sick? Or his throat? Did him and Viktor do something and he forget? No, of course not. He wouldn’t forget that. Yuuri opened the door, gritting his teeth to the air.

Viktor sat to his left perching his weight upon the railing of the wooden porch, feet dangling, wrapped within a fleece blanket. Yuuri used the sleeve of his sweater swiping snow from the wood and pulling his weight up and next to the warmth of his partner. He snuggled in close, pulling the blanket around both and lacing his fingers with his.

“I’m sick, aren’t I?” he whispered, after a while of silence.

“Yuuri, I love you.”

Yuuri kept silent.  
Viktor did also.

A few minutes passed with slow breaths humming the air. Viktor eventually turned, facing Yuuri who had also noticed his movement and was staring his way. Tears blurred his vision, Yuuri looked pale and sickly, dead almost, it sickened his stomach and twisted his heart. He pushed the tears back as he pressed his lips to the man’s forehead.

He removed his touch and hazel eyes met his, still sparkling more than ever. How was Yuuri doing this? How was he still okay? Viktor rested his head to Yuuri’s chest, he was tired, drained, all he got from the previous hours was stress and tears.

Yuuri ran his hands through the no longer silky hair, slowly untangling knots and matted strands. He questioned himself about the clipboard and Natalya-how? Why? She said ‘someone’, someone had given it to her, but then again, she snapped, avoiding Viktor’s question. He removed his hands from Viktor’s hair cupping one hand beneath his chin pulling his attention to him.

“How bad was it? Last night I mean.”

Viktor sniffled and inhaled deeply. “Bad.” He gulped, struggling to ignore the heartbreak clawing at his throat. “You, um, you had a Yurio last night. Coughed uncontrollably, breathed weakly, temperature bouncing then dropping, I couldn’t tell if you were awake or not at some hours. Yuuri, I didn’t sleep, I didn’t allow myself too. I wasn’t going to wake up with you gone and taken away from me.”

.........

Viktor was in the guest room packing a bag the lady had given him, throwing clothes and bottled water she had also provided as a thank you for keeping her company. And last but not least their wallets, the only thing that actually belonged to them in the bag.

Yuuri accompanied the older women in the lounge, waiting by the front door. “T-thank you, again.”

She responded with a gentle smile and closing a book she had started reading a few hours back. She cleared her throat, catching Yuuri’s attention. “He loves you dearly, and very brave to stand up to his parents like that.”

He fluttered his eyelashes, “he told you that?”

The lady nodded, “he told me a lot of things.”

Yuuri pouted his lips, mind bitter to how strong Viktor was being, he was allowed to break. Then again, Yuuri himself had teased him about being so emotional. He sighed slowly regretting how much of a clueless dick he had been.

Soft footsteps drifted Yuuri from his head, Viktor was standing bag slung over his shoulder, coat slightly crinkled with faded stains, jeans also a little saggy tucked into his boots. Yuuri bit his lip, out of all times, and all emotions, he chose now to drool over how attractive Viktor looked. Especially the boots, holy fucking shit, did Yuuri love those boots on him.

A smile touched Viktor’s lips. He giggled to himself as his partner, the love of his life, who most likely could be dying, was lost in a daze in his direction.

Both men thanked the lady again before wandering down the emptied street hand in hand towards the fence once again, in hope to run into Dmitry and not some asshole.

Yuuri came to a realization of this being their first sighting of Nizhny Novgorod, in the daylight. Some streets were deserted, filled with apartments, and rubbish swamping the pathways drained with colour hidden within grey slumps. Others, few people wandered lurking corners not sharing much but a glimpse to the couple and continued their lost stare to the world. Sad, he thought, how the world grew so cold and empty only after a week without proper function. How bad would it be after a few months? Years even?

They rounded a corner greeted with laughter and strong puffs of tobacco. Viktor waved a hand above his face dispersing the cloud, frowning at the soldier beneath chuckling with another man snoring against a telephone pole beside.

“Sorry.” The man nods, eyes smirking.

Viktor nodded back, understanding the disrespect in his glare, also understanding how powerless both him and Yuuri were against the soldier, even if he was just one man. But, still a solider, and still under his father.

Yuuri dragged him along, despite the anger and infuriated bubble within himself –of being judged, head beat in, starved, kicked out and every other bullshit that has happened this past week– something caught Yuuri’s eye.

A minor shop to his left, glass windows shattered and one obliterated. Shelves completely bare and scavenged, once polished floors stained with spillage’s, back refrigerators wide open also raided apart a few milk cartons, greening at the corners. Everything was just broken. Trashed. Abandoned. Everything in ruins. Just like Russia.

“Yuuri, there.”

Viktor was pointing and striding onward to the end of the street. Right, the fence. That fucking fence. He hurried his pace scurrying after the man’s footsteps, soon in need to gasp for air if he kept his breathing short.

Opposite the barbed-fence, the muscled back of a lean soldier turned greeting the couple with a glisten of relief in his eyes and a voice calling to the blonde comrade. The hatch cranked, fence sliding open shortly after.

Dmitry rushed over, running one hand through his short roots muddled and dirtied, the other directing Viktor towards the lines of cars. He leaned close stepping awkwardly sideways with effort of talking to both.

“Where did you both stay?!”

The nerve in his tone, even whispered unsettled Yuuri. “W-we stayed with an old friend.” Yuuri implied, knowing Dmitry knew it was bullshit, but again, the truth would meddle with the man’s line in order. Yuuri could not put that pressure on him, after all he has done for them.

The man chuckled, “you’re lucky, the boys insisted to search for further authorization from you both, but, I stalled them.” He sighed removing his hand from Viktor’s shoulder before speaking again. “But, your father had an order in to raid your car, confiscating any belongings that were valuable to inside. I truly apologize, I would have stopped them. But-“

Viktor paused snarling under his breath. “No, its fine. He is a selfish prick, and you have children and a wife you care dear for, you wouldn’t want anything to happen to them in the effect of your job.”

Yuuri ran onward with keys fumbling in his hand unlocking the car. He popped open the trunk first, shrieking in shock and throwing emptied bags onto the snow beneath him. Two bags remained, both full. Three bottled waters, five cans of beans, two cans of tomato soup and one packet of instant noodles. An exhale of slight hope slipped his breath, thankfully this would be enough for the drive back and there was more at Natayla’s. He closed the trunk drawing his attention through the back window, they were gone.

Eyes wide, Yuuri raced to the back door flinging it open and scanning the back seats. They were fucking gone. All of them. Every single fucking fuel can they had stored. Gone.

The urge of thrusting his own head against the nearest tree was tempting by this rate.

“Yuuri it’s okay. I understand your frustration, I feel it too. But, can we please go home, or somewhere, somewhere warm. I don’t want you to get worse. Please.” Viktor’s whisper was close and comforting but also strangely distant. Whatever that distant meant Yuuri didn’t like it. It didn’t feel right. And not emotionally wrong, physically, physically distant. Similar to the migraine that had strained him when he woke.

A tug at his coat drew his eyes to the Russian’s. Viktor’s hands were nipping at his waist pulling him from the car and holding him close.

“You’ll get sick if you stay this close.”

Viktor tugged him closer, “you don’t know that.”

The blue in his eyes were glossy and lonely, crying for that closeness. But still, Yuuri didn’t want both to be ill, one had to stay strong. Viktor had to stay strong for both of them. “I was closet to Yurio when he was sick, Viktor, I could affect you too.”

“Love, I don’t think it works like that. The radiations in the air, I’m already affected. My body just hasn’t noticed yet.”

Yuuri sighed, “yet.”

“Yuuri.” Viktor hushed with a pain in his tone.

Resting his eyes and wrapping his arms tighter, the Russian hugged the weakened man beneath him. A cold pair of hands returned the hug sending his heart to flutter with worry. Why was everything like this? And why, was his family involved in so much? He didn’t want any part of it, yet, every issue seemed to be only crushing deeper upon his shoulders.

………

The first hour of driving Viktor spent behind the wheel, Yuuri beside drifting in and out of thought.

‘If you need a place to stay, the lads and I will think of something.’

That’s what Dmitry had said when they left.

‘You won’t last long without fuel, use it well.’

He also said that too.

Those words had been on repeat, non-stop in Yuuri’s head. The friendly with a husky tone repetitive, as if it was intentionally repeating waiting for the car to crank and stop. But it hadn’t yet. The engine was slowing, Yuuri could feel, at that. But, the wheels were still rolling and the forestry outside the glass were still a motion of blur.

‘Goodluck.’

That was his last words. That was the last memory of the man’s sightings with Yuuri. But that wasn’t his exact last memory. The other one, the shorter but broader soldier. He-he was grinning. Why? Yuuri pressed his eyes shut in attempt to slow his focus. There had to be reason. But that’s the thing, he had no reason to smile at them. His first intention was to push them away, until Dmitry stepped in. His first impression was hate. So why the grin?

A pain in his shoulder startled him awake. Wait-when did he fall asleep?

“Yuuri?” It was Viktor.

Viktor eased his foot off the accelerator as he continued his attention on his partner slouched forwards, head drooping. A pained groan hummed from the man, pulling his arm from his grip. “Sorry, you feel okay?”

“It’s hurts.”

“Again, sorry. I didn’t intend to hurt you Yuuri.” He apologized, considering he never had tight grip of his arm…that meant…Yuuri was getting weaker.

Yuuri sighed, well, it felt like he sighed, in his head at least. His body felt motionless and numb. A tingling in his throat was beginning to bother him also. This wasn’t normal, was it? He brushed off the pain and tried his best to ignore it, that would be his best option, for now. Again, back to the memory.

Something, something small glimmered in Yuuri’s eye as he turned away. Glinting the same moment he shared contact with the man. Some object sharp and slim, when he tilted it one way it shone. Would that mean-

The car swerved as Viktor jumped from the sudden hand yanking his wrist. “Yuuri! Jesus! Are you alright? What is it?”

“The tires…are they-“

“They’re fine. Why are you asking such questions, Yuuri?”

“Then, it must be, the brake…Viktor, the brake.”

Viktor furrowed his brow, the brake was fine, they had made it is this far. What was he getting at? “Yuuri, I don’t understand. G-go back to sleep, get some rest. You don’t look well.”

“The brake! It has to be the brake!”

“Yuuri! Stop yelling, please.” Viktor flicked his gaze back to Yuuri once more, he was pale-faced, eyes closed and tears streaming down both cheeks. Was this radiation? Just like Yurio-or what, what was this?

“The brake!”

“Yuuri, listen to me-“

“The brake! Viktor it’s the brake!”

“You’re not well, love. Please, listen to yourself. You need rest.” He reached over pressing his palm to his cheek, cold and wet with tears. His eyes flashed to the road, still empty, then back to Yuuri who was tossing and turning in his seat. He wasn’t even awake. He was still asleep. Tears stung Viktor’s eyes, he couldn’t do anything, not until they reached Natayla’s.

“It’s the brake! The brake! He cut the brakes!”

“I know.”

“You have to check the brake!” He cried again.

Viktor flung his head back, sinking into his seat. He closed his eyes for a moment, he didn’t even have music to ignore the screaming. He didn't have anything other than himself.

“The brakes! They won’t work! He used the knife!”

“I know, Yuuri, I know.”

………

“Where are you going?!” Yurio barked, slamming the oak door behind him and charging down the stairs behind the Russian girl.

“Bud out of it, Yura. Get inside, you’ll get sick again.”

He reached out yanking her sleeve back towards his weight. “You can’t leave me! Alone!”

The pull behind her had such force her beanie had slipped from her head. Bending down she scooped the ball of wool from the snow, brushing the flakes of white from it. “I’ll be back! Gosh! You’re so annoying!”

“Huh?! Annoying?! For what?! For trying to understand what the fuck you’ve been lying about, to all of us!”

“Argh! Don’t swear at me! I am going to meet someone, he’s have been helping me, helping us! So, if you don’t mind, let me go!”

Her eyes glared deep, boiling Yurio’s anger. “You’re too much like Viktor. Secretive, and deceive people constantly.”

The girl sighed, stepping around the younger boy and walking up the steps. “That’s not true, he’s not like that. He’s better, and you know that.” The sound of boots clicking amongst the wood stopped, a door opening replaced it.

Yurio turned in his heels and snuggled into his hood. “You’ve met him before, this someone, haven’t you?”

Natalya’s glare softened, she hadn’t planned to make an error in her speech, it had to remain secret. He asked so. He pleaded and she promised. But, Yura wouldn’t say anything, right? If she had to talk to someone, she could trust Yura.

Yurio secured his watch on Natalya, she was deceiving, but when the topic was sensitive enough she became an easy read. He began his climb up the stairs towards the warmth seeping from the logged cabin. “Well, he can come here then. I don’t, I don’t want to be left alone. It terrifies me.”

Both Russians stepped back inside to the closured walls. Yurio sat on the couch, could call it his bed at this point. He buried his hair into his palms, he couldn’t believe what he was about to ask. Especially now. And if the dorks kept on track, that meant Viktor was coming back. He hoped at least. But if his hunch was correct, it wasn’t the best for Viktor to be back so soon.

The blonde ignored the knot in his gut and raised his head. “He never died, did he?”

A screech across the floorboards had echoed, Natalya had raised from her chair. “Sorry? Wait-how did you?”

He sighed, pulling his knees to his cheek. “It’s the small things. The look in your eyes when Viktor bagged him, the way you silenced yourself just outside, and you walked back inside knowing he knew his way here otherwise you would have left by now.”

The room stayed silent and Natalya hadn’t moved.

“So, why lung cancer?” he shuffled his weight locking eyes with the girl, “do they know, your parents?”

Natalya paced her mind, finding the simplest and quickest of words for her to expose. “He’s been on the run, they’ve been tracking him down for years.” She explained. “I just thought, I thought if I told Viktor if he had died, maybe it would be easier but,” her shoulders rocked and two sobs broke, she hadn’t noticed she’d began crying. “I had no idea any of that happened, and I was so shocked with what Viktor could say so heartless!” Her knees buckled and collided with the floor hard, “I didn’t know! I didn’t know he did that! I’m sorry! I've walked Viktor into a trap of something he only wanted to escape!” She cried, hiding within her beanie.

"W-what do you mean? What did you do?" He stuttered, her cries overpowered his voice. Yurio decided it was best to leave her, it had to come out one way or the other. But there was one question still in mind. On edge he raised his voice over her sobbing, “so, where is he now?”

Eyes bloodshot, she raised freckled cheeks from the floor wiping her tears. “I was supposed to meet up with him today, intentionally the day Viktor and Yuuri were to return so they could be here with you. If I don’t show up he’ll come here. And if they all manage to collide at once then I don’t know, Yura, I don’t know.”

………

It had been forty-five minutes with Yuuri crying to Viktor’s right. Shifting in his seat, kicking at the floor a few minutes, the tears hadn’t stopped and his voice was beginning to crack, but the repetitive nonsense hadn’t stopped.

“You have to check the brakes!”

Viktor’s was in tears, cold and alarmed, he knew Yuuri was getting worse. He knew this was part of the radiation, he had checked the brakes five times already. They were perfectly fine and just to be cautious he had restarted the car twice. Whatever was going through Yuuri’s head, whether a nightmare, some memory, a hallucination, he had to wake up. Viktor was sick of it.

“The brake, Viktor!”

The cry of his name, caused him to snap. “I know, Yuuri! I’ve checked the damn brakes! They’re fine! You need to wake up! Please! The brake is fucking fine and you’re not! It kills me to see you like this! Jesus fucking Christ, Yuuri, wake the fuck up!”

It didn’t work. He didn’t wake up. But, he’d stopped screaming.  
For now, that was a start.

The Russian leaned forward, resting his head upon the wheel. Eyes off the road, he allowed himself to sob onto the material. The road was straight for miles no vehicle was seen on their way there, so, why would there be one on their way back?

His eyes singed from exhaustion begging for a rest. He exhaled slowly to ignore the twitch, he had to keep going. Yuuri wasn’t in any condition to drive. Viktor could still hear his distant weeping. He raised himself from the steering wheel in sorrow of the man sitting beside. Reaching to his face he gently brushed a thumb under his eyes wiping the soaked skin dry.

“Yuuri, what is going through your head?” he whispered unsure if Yuuri could even hear his voice.

Viktor pulled his attention to the white in front, a farm truck with a rusted coat of red spread across the road. Viktor angled his head, for such a narrow road the truck was sure parked weirdly.

Great.  
He was hallucinating too.

He sighed breaking view from the incoming truck, this was it. He was now sick too, and the fuel light was flashing, everything was just fucking great. He fluttered his eyelashes a few times before he realized that was no hallucination. That truck was really there in the middle of the fucking road. They were too close, too fast, there was no way he would slow the car in time. It was either in the car or out. They had too jump, and if they were going to it had to be now.

“Yuuri, I need you to wake up. Now!”

Viktor shoved at his chest, “Yuuri! Fuck!” it was no use. He reached forwards as fast as he could, unlocking the handle and pushing the door open.

The wind howled into the car and the sleeve on Yuuri’s coat began to flap rapidly. They were going too fast. If Viktor were to kick him out it could injure him, what would that do to him? He was already in this state, what if he never woke up? No, this was it. He had too. It was the ground, or the truck.

Viktor watched the snow outside the car whip past in a blurred cloud, he glanced to the truck then back to Yuuri. It had to be now. “I’m so sorry, love. This is going to hurt.” He swerved his weight, with his own back to his door and one boot aimed at the man’s side.

In one quick thrust Yuuri was gone, Viktor’s gut tightened and instead of letting it control him, he fought back opening the car door behind and throwing his own weight into the snow.

The impact of the ground hit hard, followed with a bang of the two vehicles colliding in the near distance. Everything rushed numb, and his sight grew dark.

Viktor soon regained conscious with a sharp throb attacking his body. He tossed within the snow, jumping weakly to his feet the second he remembered Yuuri. His legs begged to be still, but his heart paced. He began to call out with a slow start to his movement, “Yuuri!”

“Yuuri!”

“Yuuri!!”

His feet had picked up running along the road reaching out for each passing tree stabilizing his balance. “Yuuri!”

“Fuck, Yuuri! Where are you?!”

Viktor bolted to the other side in hope of a ditch, or somewhere he couldn’t see. Somewhere Yuuri had fallen and lay cold out of sight.

The road stretched symmetrical to the side he was just running along, clumped with dirtied snow and twigs. Trees swallowed his surroundings miles ahead and behind, but no sign of Yuuri. W-where did he go? Where did he fall? Viktor didn’t jump out much longer after he kicked Yuuri. Was he further up?

“Yuuri!!!”

His head spun in numerous directions, stabbing at all ends, what had he done? Where was Yuuri?! He forced his feet to keep going, only a few more metres, he should be close, only a few more steps. He kept telling himself, over and over again, he would not stop, not until he knew he was safe. 

“Yuuri!”

“YUURI!”

Viktor danced his heels once more, running what felt like in circles, before he collapsed onto his lap and hurled his guts into the white below. He was parched from having no water earlier, they had decided to spare it, they figured they could last eight hours. Well, things did not go to plan. He cried into the coldness of his palms until the heartbreak wrenched to the point he couldn’t breathe. “Yuuri, fuck, fuck, fuck, where are you? Shit, dammit!” A fist thrashed before him sending a clump of snow to the air.

The anger riddled inside caught his attention in trance to the flying snow crumbling when hitting the ground. A shade of navy blue in the distance behind the fallen snow reached Viktor’s senses. Slowly, he eased his weight and hobbled to the familiar colour. His stumble broke into a sprint the moment his head had recognized clearly what the object was. His body fell next to the pair of glasses. There was no doubt those didn’t belong to Yuuri. His eyes glossed as his finger traced the corner with the crack crawling across, the one that appeared the day in the car where yet again, Viktor had screwed up with his hands behind the wheel.

“Yuuri, where are you? What happened? W-what did I-No, no Viktor, get up yourself up. Get up. Get up. Get up!”

He clutched the glasses close, sobbing into his chest. He couldn’t do it. He ran out of energy, and everything hurt, every limb was so fucking painful. He couldn’t get up.

Dense steps behind threw his attention from weeping, a familiar smell bulged his eyes. If that was who he thought. No, no, no, no, there was no way. No way. It wasn’t possible. He was dreaming. It was all a dream. This wasn’t happening.

“I'm sorry.” The voice bellowed, deeper and huskier then Viktor’s child-self remembered.

A swing blew through the air, a smooth edge striking the back of Viktor’s head sent him back to the ground, again world seeping black.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (ﾉಥ益ಥ）ﾉ ┻━┻ I love cliffhangers :)


	11. It's Been A Long Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Viktor could hear the words 'I'm sorry', a dozen times. A thousand times. A million times even. But, there was one voice, said by one person, that those words always sent shivers down his spine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had tried to write small hints in previous chapters towards what was going to happen in this chapter, if you caught on to those hints *claps*
> 
> Messy and angsty. That's all this chapter really is;)
> 
> I'm sad because this is coming to an end...honestly, I love the angst in this. Sometimes it even surprises me when I think of it and I, ah. I'm sorry, you can read now.

‘I’m sorry.’

Only three words, one abbreviated. That’s how everyone saw it. In this case, Viktor did not share the same eye.

I’m sorry the voice of a fourteen-year-old boy, caring and delicate.

I’m sorry spat by doubt and regret of a young adult, struggling under power of his father.

I’m sorry echoed by some voice Viktor hardly recognized anymore.

Each time said, the deeper a splinter pierced at his heart.

………

***26 years ago***

“Hey, you be careful now, wouldn’t want you getting hurt, would we?” The soft strawberry blonde chuckled.

Viktor, aged four, listened close as it was his best skill. He couldn’t speak much, not as much as his brother. But he could laugh and he liked the feeling of it too, the way it tickled in his belly.

He raised from the mossy stone he had just slipped on and pumped both fists in the air. He did it. He stood on his own, by himself, without his brothers help.  
“Look at me! Look! Kostya Look!”

The teen shifted his gaze from his shoe pulling the laced knot tight, “wow! You sure learn fast!” he reached a hand towards Viktor mouth grinning, eyes begging to get down.

Viktor paused for a moment, he didn’t want to get down, not at all, he wasn’t afraid. “Mmm. No!” he whined cuddling his arms to himself. Viktor liked being up high. It had a pretty view. Everything down below was weird and scary.

“Viktor, you will fall and it will hurt, come down please.”

The boy grumbled and stomped his foot against the hardened stone. “I won’t fall!”

Kostya eased to his own feet slowly stretching both arms. Viktor noticed and scurried his feet further back his heels scraping the edge. “I’m not coming down! And you can’t stop me!”

“Viktor, it’s a big rock” he hesitated within his steps realizing how close the four-year-old was to the edge. He turned his hands towards himself and wavered them in his direction, “Come this way a little more and we’ll play a game. You have to jump and brother will catch you, yeah?”

Viktor kicked his foot again, “No!”

The teen hissed in fear, and jumped forwards scaring the boy.

“Viktor!”

“Ahh! Kost-”

The leap of Kostya had his fingers in quick grasp of Viktor’s coat, yanking his small weight against the rock.

“I got you! I got you!” he cried, pulling the shaken boy close as he hummed the panic out of himself. “I’m sorry, I frightened you, that was my fault. All my fault.”

Viktor buried his face in his brother’s chest, pupils dilated to the dark fabric, heart racing like a rocket. He, he fell off the rock, he could have really hurt himself like brother said. His bottom lip began to tremble as the tears caved his cheeks.

Kostya rested his chin upon the light hair beneath and chuckled to a sudden thought, “could you imagine if we had to call father and ask him to drive back here then take you to the hospital as well?”

A faint laugh slipped Viktor’s sob and he pushed his weight from his brother, meeting the pair of green eyes. “How long do you think mommy will be?”

“You mean, how long until we meet our baby sister?” Kostya whispered.

Viktor pressed his lips together struggling to hold back a grin, he let loose a giggle when Kostya tried the same. The laughing of both relieved them from the sudden trauma that had taken place not more than a minute ago.

“Well, shall we go back home and wait for them?”

Viktor nodded faster than his head could comprehend, Kostya burst out a laughter “Okay, I take that as a yes!”

***19 years ago***

Viktor removed each boot throwing them on the shoe rack, it was a Tuesday evening and he was well aware of what he had to do. Once it was done he would have a shower, slip back outside, climb on the roof and gaze at the stars. It was quiet, no one could bother him. Not even his father.

He grabbed an apple from the fruit bowl placed centre of the family table and threw it Natalya, who was lazed on the couch.

“You going to bed already? Stay out here with me?”

“Can’t, I’m going to bed, I’m tired. Night, sis.”

Her knuckles whitened on the fleece blanket she was huddled beneath, “Please?”

Dark footsteps echoed down the hall and Viktor knew it was time to go. He carried on towards the darkness, stomach dropping the closer he stood to his father. Why was he blocking the way? He had 'punishment’ to be done, didn’t he? It was Tuesday right?

“You don’t need to go tonight.”

Viktor flinched, “What? Why?”

He was glad, but so confused. Had he finally forgiven him? Matured? Accepted it? No, of course he wouldn’t have, what was Viktor thinking?

His shoulder shoved past the monster walking towards the dark bedroom anyway. What did he mean not tonight? Opening the door, he slid behind and exhaled. Why was he doing this? He could have just walked away. He had the perfect chance.

Kostya was sitting to his right, the only part of the room that wasn’t lit by a light, head rested upon the study desk.

Viktor paced away from the door and sat on the bed across, twiddling his thumbs he spoke through the silence “h-how was work?”

“Usual.”

The huff in his voice provoked Viktor. He sounded strangely tired, no worn out even, why? He always carried such an abundance of energy, even in the mornings just up and about making breakfast for everyone, if not, it would be mother. Viktor removed himself from the bed and began to make gentle steps towards the back of his brother. “Kostya?”

A slight shift of his head was noticed, turning further into the shadows.

“Mmm?”

Viktor placed a hand on his shoulder, no matter how much he hated Tuesday nights, this was still his brother and if something was wrong he would ask.

“Are you alright?”

Kostya moved his face to Viktor’s direction, still in hidden in the dark beneath his a few strands of hair fallen on across his face. “Yeah kid, I’m fine. Don’t worry about me, worry about yourself all right?”

You don’t need to go tonight

Viktor reached out for the switch at the base of the near lamp, pausing before pressing it. He knew what his father was capable of he just hoped it was only towards him. He pushed on the switch and his hand cupped his mouth to muffle his shriek.

Kostya’s eyes immediately forced shut to the sudden brightness, his head cried at the second it flooded his sight. Purple, pink, brown, yellow, tan, every single fucking colour a bruise could be painted his face. They were everywhere and at different times, old ones, new ones; under his lip, covering his nose, ears even, cheeks swollen, but his eyes they were clear. As if…whoever beat him wanted him to watch with perfect vision…did Viktor’s father really do this?!

“W-what happened?! Did he do this?! Is that why-“

“Viktor, listen to me” his words choked quiet and stiff from the cuts of his lips, sighing the tears back that welled in his eyes and continued “I should have never-I should never had touched you, ever. It was wrong, so wrong, I, I don’t have the words, I, I’m sorry. You need to leave. Now, soon, Viktor seriously leave, go somewhere, anywhere, I am not doing this anymore you need to go!”

Viktor’s eyes widened, he is only saying that now? After three years…It took him three years! He paced back shaking his head in disbelief. What kind of apology was that?!

“You’re only saying this because he hurt you! And you don’t want to be hurt anymore! I don’t understand you! Any of you!”

Kostya finally raised his body whining deeply in the process, “then why can’t you make it stop Viktor, stop this nonsense. Just please, tell them you’re over it, tell them it’s just a phase and you’ve grown out of it. I’m begging you. Just tell them, even if it’s not.”

Viktor shook his head, he wouldn’t dare. “But, it’s not and I won’t grow out of it. It’s me, why can’t any of you accept that!”

***Now***

That smell. It was so fucking familiar.

If only.  
If only he could bring himself to realize what she was warning him about.  
What Natayla was holding back on so much.  
If only he had realized it sooner.

“I'm sorry.” The voice bellowed, before everything surrounding Viktor quickly faded dark.

………

Viktor jolted awake gasping for a breath and thrusting his weight forwards in memory of what had happened. A voice called out as he flung up, warning him about something above his-

“Garghh!” He groaned throwing his palms to his head.

“There’s a metal beam above you.” The voice called again, quieter this time.

Viktor lay facing a concreted grey wall, refusing to turn around, whining at the sharp throbbing to his head. He couldn’t face him. Natalya said he was dead. Dead. He was supposed to be well under the ground rotting within the earth, not here in the same room, place, wherever he was now, . But, he was here. And alive. Kostya was alive’ What would he be, forty? Shit. Ten years, yeah, forty. It had been nineteen years since he last saw him. Viktor would not face him. Not now. The nerve in his body didn’t allow him to.

The throbbing soon slowed, he turned without notice staring at the back of-once he would call his brother, but now not so sure-across the room holding a pair of pliers and small odd equipment aside, shoving each into quite possibly a bag. He didn’t know, could be a box, Viktor couldn’t see. But he knew whatever he was packing for was intended for dangerous purposes.

The thought of Yuuri crossed his mind immediately forcing himself from the floor storming up to the adult. He grabbed his shoulder, hesitating in the moment in realization of how built the muscle felt beneath his touch. Maybe he shouldn’t have grabbed him so suddenly. No. Yuuri, where was Yuuri?

He flung the body around, scowling close to his face “Where is he?! What did you do?! And why?! Why the fuck did you leave your fucking truck there?!”

The face was hidden beneath short scruffy stubble, thick eyebrows, and faded brown tips poking under a beanie and the same pair of green eyes shaking directly at Viktor’s. They were still so green, bright and somewhat innocent. Heck, he was taller than Viktor, but Viktor made it quite clear he wasn’t afraid to stand to him pulling Kostya’s face a breath closer, “Where is he?!”

Kostya cocked his head back gradually surrendering both hands in the air. “I’ll explain, first you need to calm down.” His tone was quiet and stable, a little shaken from the surprise. This wasn’t the first time he’d been in this position.

His pupils shifted to the floor behind Viktor. “One, you nearly stepped on him. Two, the truck swerved on the ice, highly appreciate the dent your car left, thank you.”

N-nearly stepped on him? Viktor relaxed the focused grip on his coat turning his weight to the floor behind and there he was. Kostya was right. Viktor collapsed to his knees crawling to the still weight wrapped beneath a blanket. He cupped his face within his palms watching the slow breathes slip from his lips. He was here. He was okay. Yuuri was okay. Yuuri was okay.

“Here, you dropped these”

He turned to the tap on his shoulder, Yuuri’s glasses. Kostya slipped the pair of blue into his hand. Tears brimmed Viktor’s eyes at the thought of how close he had lost Yuuri and the sickened feeling to thank Kostya. The surface of his past stopped him instantly removing eye contact from the man.

Viktor slipped the glasses onto Yuuri’s face gently stroking each cheek with his thumbs. He looked peaceful, but that didn’t stop the truth of him being poised with radiation. Viktor leaned down positioning his weight beside his partner resting his head upon his chest. Yuuri’s body twitched as Viktor snuggled close, reaching across he placed Yuuri’s hand in his, brushing his fingers over the ring.

Kostya stood still aside, hovering over the two with arms crossed. “Radiation has him, your husband?”

Viktor’s pupils dilated, husband, he said husband. That’s all he ever wanted. “Fiance” he corrected, attempting his best at ignoring the deep sadness that brewed over him.

Kostya dropped his arms, “shit, Viktor.”

“Don’t. Just don’t. I don’t need that now, I don’t need your pity. Already having a hard time with you right beside me.”

The older Russian inhaled, he felt it too. He hated it just as much as Viktor did. He stood up, “fine” he sighed and walked to his desk.

Viktor watch the man he used to admire as having for a brother slouch towards a computer chair sliding his weight in and staring at a screen, a dozen screens. Viktor’s eyes widened realising he hadn’t observed his surroundings.

Slowly, he took in each detail of the run-down grey building he was in. Computer desks covered one side, filled with screens of security cameras outside and inside this place and some back in Nizhny Novgorod. Viktor didn’t bother to question how and why, he was done knowing. He continued to scan his eyes, noticing crates sharing a familiar design to the ones in the Town Hall. The interior reflected a warehouse, but concrete, not much help in Viktor’s eye. A sleeping bag was placed in the far corner, few clothes and emptied cans scattered near. Viktor pressed his hand against the concrete floor quivering to the ice surface and squinted his eyes back to the man.

“What is this place?”

Placing a can of some food-to far for Viktor to identify-on the desk and swiveled his chair around, grunting as he stood. “It’s home, Viktor. It’s home.”

Home? What gave him the reason to abandon everything and live in this shithole? The younger Russian removed himself from the body beneath and raised to his feet, “Why?”  


He sighed and scratched at his scruff. “Sometimes, I wished you were still around these past few years. But, glad you haven’t.” He stepped in his footing and flicked a hand towards Yuuri, “He’s affected and going to need help.”

Viktor furrowed his brows. He knew that already. “What are you suggesting?”

Kostya pouted his lips, humming to himself before walking towards the couple. He turned a metre away continuing towards a sealed plastic box, pausing before unlatching the lid, “how much do you trust me, right now?”

Viktor snarled, he was asking to trust him?!. His fists balled to the sudden angered nerve attacking his heart. He released his fists, if he was going to speak he had to be clear and not a mess. “You’re asking me to trust you? Trust you?! You hit me in head with what?! A fucking baseball bat?! Jesus, Kostya where is your common sense?!”

The lid snapped shut and Kostya stepped forwards threatening a finger towards Viktor, “this is why I had to knock you out! You would have gone mental! If you want to save him, fucking trust me!”

Yuuri squirmed below pulling Viktor’s attention to his feet. “Yuuri?”

“D-do not wake him. He needs to stay asleep as long as he can. If he wakes it’ll just trigger his body to react.”

Viktor shared a glance with Kostya, he was right, they had to tone it down. “He was dreaming before or something, something about someone cutting the brakes on the car. He was screaming and I couldn’t help him, but Natayla can, she can help, she has this thing. I don’t know how to explain but it works.” He whispered.

The green eyes widened, “y-you saw Natalya? When? H-how long back?!” he stuttered pacing his way towards the two.

Viktor felt a rush of unease grow, “about three days ago.”

Kostya paused twirling in his steps then staring back at Viktor, “and how did you know about the medicine, is she okay?”

Viktor raised a brow. He knew about the medicine?! He stepped around Yuuri greeting eye to eye with the Russian. “She’s fine, she used it on a friend. How the fuck do you know about the medicine?”

Kostya held his chin high as Viktor stood close, somewhat intimidated. “Viktor, who do you think supplied her with it?”

Viktor shoved at his chest in reaction of a sudden connection. “You fucking dick! It was you! Wasn’t it?! You’re the one sneaking in and stealing the fucking portions! You fucking bastard! Do you know how much shit you have put people in?!”

Kostya lunged forwards grabbing each side of Viktor’s arms. “Shut up! Stop yelling! I thought we just agreed on that.”

Viktor squirmed out of his hands, “don’t touch me. I just came from fucking Nizhny Novgorod. Yuuri read how much was taken, father, he threatened him. I just, don’t, don’t touch me.”

A sadness consumed the pair of green, Kostya dropped his head. “I see. You’re still holding onto that.”

That? If that was what Viktor was thinking. Of course he was, how would anyone forget such a disturbed thing. It was fucked and there nothing to forgive or forget that. Viktor stared blank at the regret and sorrow hallowing over the grown man’s face. “How could I not let go of that?” He snarled turning away to Yuuri, he just wanted to be with Yuuri. He wanted nothing to do with this, or his past.

Kostya snatched his wrist, “you think I enjoyed hearing your tiny lungs cry in my hands, because of me. I’m not a sick fuck, Viktor.”

Viktor’s heart stung. As much as he didn’t want to talk about it he turned anyway facing the wrist that had grabbed held of him. “Then why?” he chokingly whispered.

A single tear rolled down Kostya’s cheek. He, he was crying?

Kostya noticed himself and wiped it with his sleeve, then glared towards the ceiling. He couldn’t bring himself to eye contact. This wouldn’t change Viktor’s perspective no matter what he said, what was done was done.

He breathed in and listened to his heart. He exhaled and pulled his sight to the younger Russian standing before him. “Because I was a coward. I was young and selfish, so fucking selfish. I was fucking terrified of what they would do to me, if I didn’t. And when the day came that I said I was done, he beat the shit out of me over and over again. You saw it with your own eyes, Viktor. That’s what I was afraid of.”

Tears surfaced in Viktor’s eyes but he fought back, “Yeah, you were selfish, Kostya. Didn’t even think how a nine-year-old kid, let alone your own brother, would feel after being let down and disappointed because he was brave enough to say he felt different to others and didn’t feel attraction to girls and wanted to try fucking ice skating. You have no idea how much it hurt the first night. And not just your fucking dick in my face, but the blade that came from the name of this family. You have no idea. And I knew you hated it just as I did, because you never came. And I am so glad you didn’t, because that would have meant your sick, twisted, head enjoyed it. Sometimes, you wouldn’t even notice but you were crying Kostya, not me, you.”

Kostya kept his footing, Viktor didn’t. He crumbled the second it slipped from his last breath. He had said nothing most of his life, only raged to himself when angry enough or that one time he attacked Yurio. And he never thought it would come to the day where he’d be standing there with Kostya. He pulled his knees to his chest, hugging the tears out of him.

A scruffy-edged face met Viktor’s view as Kostya leaned down to him, “Viktor, you were braver than I ever was.”

Viktor’s bottom lip trembled and he cried a loud sob, continuing to sulk on the ground allowing himself to be the mess he’d forever tried to conceal.

The back lining of his sweater dragged down lightly as something tugged behind.

“Viktor…”  
It was Yuuri.

Viktor muffled his breathing and spun his weight towards the soft voice. Yuuri was sickly pale, whiter than ever, crusted blood stains seeping from his lip, his hand fragile, pulling at Viktor’s sweater. Yuuri attempted to sit up, Viktor pushed him back down under his weight as he straddled onto his side crying into his chest.

Yuuri had no clue why he was hurting so much but wanted to comfort him as much as possible. Nor did he recognise their surroundings, or the man pacing back and forth in the shadows. Yuuri winced as Viktor crushed his side, the Russian scampered off the second he heard it.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” He panicked wiping streams of tears from his face.

Yuuri used all his energy to shake his head in disagreement, “No, come…come here. I want…you here.” He croaked and patted his waist with his hand. Everything felt numb, all his limbs, but his chest, Viktor had jumped on his chest. That hurt most.

Viktor nodded and gently wrapped himself around Yuuri, watching where he placed himself making sure it was comfortable for both. Yuuri snuggled his face into Viktor’s chest, Viktor sobbingly soothing his fingers through his locks. Yuuri whined every breath that felt too short, or a wheeze too deep. Viktor noticed and held the man closer to closure each wince.

Yuuri studied the man he had slight vision of from over Viktor’s shoulder. He was tall, maybe a little taller than Viktor, built too. The man turned and Yuuri swore they shared eye contact even if it were just a second. He recognized him too, but he couldn’t pick up from where. A sniffle and a jumped breath pulled Yuuri’s attention to Viktor, “What’s the…matter?” He asked in the loudest tone he could, but it didn’t sound much more than a whisper. He was surprised when Viktor lifted his head.

“I’ll explain” the Russian choked, “soon, okay? We need to get back to Natayla, we’ve already fallen a day off track. She’ll be worried.”

Viktor watched Yuuri for a second, furrowing his brows the longer the silence lasted. “Yuuri?”

His lips were opened slightly, quietly gasping for air. He couldn’t breathe. “Yuuri! Shit! Kostya! Kostya, if you’re going to do something, do it now!”

Yuuri’s pupils flooded dark as the name rung out, no way. No fucking way.

Viktor unwrapped himself as Yuuri’s body began to tremble, shaking uncontrollably beneath him. “Kostya! He’s seizing! Shit, baby, please don’t! You’re going to be okay! J-just hold on!” He cried heavily, panicking and flicking his eyes to the older Russian running beside.

“I’m here. I’m here. You’re going to have t-“

Viktor hobbled himself onto Yuuri’s lap just as Yuuri had done with Yurio, “I know. I know. We did it before. We, we can do it again. Baby, please just hold on a little longer. I can’t lose you, not now! You need to be strong okay?! Can you do that for me?!”

Yuuri’s chest bucked forwards as Kostya jabbed the syringe contained with the same yellow liquid, into the skin of his forearm. Viktor pressed his waist down holding his chest still with his arms. “Yuuri, I need you to be calm okay? You’re stronger than you think, please, hold on a little, I need you.” His throat began gasping and his hands raised scraping at his chest. Tears pricked Viktor’s eyes, he didn’t know what to do this was different from what happened with Yurio. “I know this is hard, but listen to me baby, you’re going to be okay, just try and breathe slow. Relax and breathe, for me.”

“D-does he have anxiety?!”

Viktor bulged his eyes towards Kostya, who now was also straddling his arms to hold the man down. “Why do you ask?!”

“Because they’re always the worst! They panic inside thinking they’re suffocating, it’s happened too many times with others! Some have died! They pushed themselves too far! Viktor, you need to get him to breathe!” Kostya was staring at him now, body rocking to the movement of Yuuri below. “You need to do something! Anything!”

Nothing came to mind, he couldn’t think of one single thing. Yuuri was having the biggest panic attack of his life and he couldn’t pull himself to do anything.

A hand grabbed his arm and Viktor turned his attention to Kostya, who was panicking too. “Kiss him! You can do that, yes?!”

Viktor nodded and leaned towards Yuuri’s face, cupping both cheeks with his hands. He hesitated, grinding his teeth. How hard was it to kiss someone?

“Viktor!”

“I know! I know!” he screamed turning is head away from Yuuri, preventing any loud noise to his face, then quickly turning again and pulling their lips together with tears running down his nose, splashing onto Yuuri’s. Yuuri pulled back for a moment muffling his wheeze and within the next second he eased under Viktor’s touch, all limbs followed. Viktor gently tugged off opening his eyes to a pair of watery hazel.

“Oh god, Yuuri!” he cried once more burying his face into his fiance’s chest, sobbing from relief.

Yuuri wrapped his arms with little strength he had gained around Viktor, joining the man in his breakdown.

………

“Ah! Piss off! It’s cold!” Yurio screeched at the sudden ice air attacking his body as Natalya tore the blanket from him.

“Get up! We’re going for a drive!”

The blonde jumped to his feet, “What? Where?”

The Russian rugged herself up in her coat, and threw Yurio’s his. “To Kostya. He contacted me. We need to go.”

Yurio raced for his sneakers and pulled on the sleeve of the girl’s coat, “What do you mean contact you?”

“You know how Viktor called mother, with the government device. Well, same thing but Kostya re-wired it for only contact between us both. It’s on the table, read if you please but get in the car, Yura.” Grabbing her boots, she passed the kitchen and hooked a pair of keys with her finger then ran towards the front door, bolting outside.  
Yurio wasn’t far behind, as he picked up the black brick his stomach dropped.

MISSED CALL – Kostya – 1:45am

TEXT RECEIVED – Kostya – 2:02am : 'They’re here. Accidental bump into. Everything’s fine. Considering he’s seen you, I’m sorry. I should have told you, but right now none of that matters. Yuuri is critical. But I’m leaving them to get more, you need to come and get them.’

He frantically placed the phone on the table. Yuuri was critical. H-how, the radiation hadn’t got to him? Had it? He scurried out the door, locking it behind and sprinting towards Natalya’s car. He jumped in the passenger seat of the white truck, “What are you doing now?” he grumbled as Natalya unzipped her belt and slid out.

Her head popped back into the car, “putting snow chains on. Care to help?” she raised a brow. Yurio took that as an ‘I’m not asking you’ look and dragged himself out to the cold.

Both Russians rushed back into the car, teeth chattering. “Cold, cold, cold.” Natalya hissed, as she attempted to turn the ignition.

The heat cranked and the car rolled in reverse. “Quick question, can you use a gun?”

Yurio’s eyes flared, why in seven hells were they to use a gun? “Yeah. Otabek taught me once.”

“That friend of yours?”

“Mmm” he replied, snugging into the warmth of his hood. “Why?”

“Because Kostya is an idiot.” She scowled, swerving the car to left and speeding down the road. “Yuuri is critical. That’s all he said. If he’s talking radiation critical, then obviously, things didn’t do smooth with father. If things didn’t go okay, and Viktor pissed father off, he’ll suspect something and positions could change, Yura. Kostya has his ways of getting in and out, if those positions change, he is not getting in. He could be on the run again in the next few hours. So, I am asking can you use a gun?”

………

Viktor forced his eyes open to the sound of heavy footsteps echoing in the room, the door was open and outside hallowed pitch black. Why was Kostya up?

“Thought you’d be sleeping,” Kostya mumbled behind with a bag to his shoulder, geared with layers of clothes like he was leaving.

Viktor shook his head and pulled Yuuri closer as he came to mind, “Not until I know he is okay. Where are you going?”

“Have two portions left, going to get more. I’ll be back by morning.”

“Are you insane?” Viktor was on the verge of getting up and stopping him but Yuuri snuggling into his body re-seconded that thought. Kostya knew what he was doing, he had done this before. He let him go and the door slammed close, darkening the room even more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Stretching this to 13-14 chapters with an epilogue of several months later or something. But, I am very keen, it's make me so happy thinking about the epilogue, honestly *wipes tear*. 
> 
> Butttt, that doesn't mean there is a whole next chapter of thunder coming your way beforehand.


	12. An Interruption

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Natayla and Yurio get to the couple. Kostya comes back with a hurry for them to leave.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Raising a glass to those who have come this far* You poor, poor souls. 
> 
> You may have noticed a small change to the information above, I updated the chapter amount to officially fourteen. Although, there is only thirteen to the main story, and fourteen will be an emotionally, heartfelt, happy epilogue. And, I can tell you I am not doing one of those 'last chapter will be an epilogue, then not upload it'. I am defiantly uploading it. *slams hand on table* This shit needs to be on the web. 
> 
> ily all, thank you for coming this far<3

Gradually, Yuuri adjusted his eyesight to the dim light seeping under the door. For once in the past three days he felt he had energy. A Natural warmth of energy. It felt fucking great. Staring across the emptied room he noticed a dozen black screens and a few crates knocked over. That's right, where were they again? He used all peace that had regenerated within his head to somewhat, at least, attempt to resurface any memory over the past two days.

They had stayed with the old lady, whom they never got her name. Unless Viktor did, considering he spent most of the time during the night, up. They said goodbye to Dmitry and then they were driving. Everything seemed pointlessly blank after that. Just an image of nothing. A black empty nothing. He remembered the snow under his cheek. A weight lifting him from the ground, he had turned and had glimpse of a man's face. It was the same guy as before, the one who was pacing. Where had he seen that face? He swore he had seen that face surely, but younger, much younger. He rolled his eyes to his frustration and turned onto his side. Viktor had said something, someone, called to someone when everything hurt when Yuuri felt like all his nerves were crashing.

Kostya. That's what he yelled. He yelled out to Kostya. None of that made sense, Kostya wasn't alive. Natalya mentioned he died. It could not be just another one of her lies. Although, it made sense if Viktor was crying so hard because of it. He broke when explaining to Natalya, and now for him to be confronted like that. Yuuri couldn't imagine.

"Hey, Viktor?"  
Yuuri rolled his weight, forehead colliding into the Russian's knee. "Viktor?"

Viktor was sitting head hung low, hands on his shoulders, fingers digging into his nape. Why was he so tense? Yuuri called once more and the Russian raised his face, eyes riddled black, hallowing dark. Yuuri's gut cramped at the sight of it.

He pulled his weight forward sitting across from him. Viktor's finger twitched as Yuuri shuffled his weight closer. He raised a finger and brushed his fringe aside, “Viktor?” His face was firm, still, frozen cold with a futile darkness. Yuuri furrowed his brows, was this something to do with Kostya? Yuuri felt a need to hurl at the thought of Kostya. This was all too fucked up. It was all too fucked up-

A smack to his jaw awoke him to reality and he fell back under Viktor. Viktor’s hands pressed Yuuri against the floor, his shoulder’s crying from impact. “Viktor, c-calm down!” Yuuri squirmed beneath the body. He had regained energy, but it was small and not enough to push Viktor off, he had a bigger figure than Yuuri. “Viktor…what are you...“

Yuuri shoved all his effort towards the chest crushing him, using his legs for support and thrusting Viktor aside. He sprung back the second Yuuri had removed him, hands reaching for his neck. “Vik…”

The grip on his neck, was heartbreaking, let alone the closing in his airway. “Vik…tor, stop.” He didn’t understand, none of this made sense. There was a possessive glare targeting Yuuri, no gentle ocean eyes, only a blankness evil staring down at him. Yuuri kicked his feet flailing at Viktor’s legs. His eyes began to water to the lack of oxygen. Why was this happening?

Picking up his arms, he balled his fists and flung them towards Viktor, punching at his jaw. The Russian flinched releasing his grasp, Yuuri scampered back smacking his head into the wall. Using the seconds he had, Yuuri quickly calmed his breathing, inhaling deep as the pair of large hands wrapped his neck once again. His breath choked sending the suffocating to its peak within a heartbeat.

Yuuri fought against Viktor’s intensity twisting himself towards the door simultaneously as he heard hurried footsteps treading through the snow outside. His voice cracked as he cried out for help. Yuuri charged his hands latching onto Viktor’s wrists, tugging them afar from his neck. It was no use, Yuuri was useless compared to the man’s strength.

The hinge of the door creaked as it swung open, daylight swarming the room in the moment.

“Viktor?! What the hell man!” Yurio barked as he raced over, dropping a handgun to the floor. “Get off him! Shit, Viktor, what the fuck?!”

Natalya entered shortly after, eyes darting to the blonde kicking at Viktor’s waist. Both Russian’s fell to the floor, Yurio pounding at his chest. “What were you thinking?! He could have died! Huh?! Explain to me! What the fuck were you doing?!”

Yuuri tossed and turned gagging into his palms, groaning from the wrenching ache in his head.

“Yuri! Stop!” Natalya began, pulling the shaken Russian from Viktor’s body. She kneeled to her brother, shoving her own gun in the back of her jeans and yanking Viktor’s face to her’s. “Viktor, look at me. Oh, god. When was the last time you slept? Y-you need to rest.”

Viktor whined slowly tossing his head side to side, “Viktor, you are driving yourself insane. Here I can give you something to help, but you need to sleep.”

His eyes gaped open, head drooping into her palm, “No, no drugs. W-where is Yuuri?”

Natalya pulled his head back up, both hands supporting his chin. “You almost killed him Viktor, you need to sleep.”

“I-I need to…make sure he’s okay”

“No. You need to stay away from him.” Natalya flicked her worry to Yurio, “We’ll stay here awhile, let him get some rest. I’m not having that occur on the road, is he okay?” She asked, head nodding in Yuuri’s direction.

“He’s fine, a little shaken, but.”

Natalya flashed a sympathetic smile to the young Russian, who, unaware looked just as frightened as Yuuri, fiddling with the inner lining of his hood. She returned her gaze back to Viktor, “Alright you, let’s go.”

She balanced Viktor on his feet, both hobbling to the far corner where Kostya’s sleeping-bag lay. She tucked his body under the cover, he obeyed, face unfocused and eyelids falling. Natalya puffed a slight sigh spinning in her heels, walking back towards the two, one sitting traumatized on the ground, the other comforting aside. The girl placed a hand on the man’s shoulder shifting his attention from the floor, “Yuuri, can I speak to you for a minute?”

Yuuri nodded, unsure of what the Russian girl wanted. Picking up his feet, quietly following the feminine figure outside.

“What about me? I’m not staying in here with him!” Yurio called out, gawking eyes at Natalya.

Natalya crossed her arms in objection, holding the door ajar with her boot. “Someone needs to watch him. I need to talk to Yuuri. So, you are on duty” she demanded, not allowing the boy to answer as she shut the door behind.

Yurio gritted his teeth, furious but understanding. Goosebumps traveled throughout his body in small waves as he played the scene in his head. He’d never thought it would come to a day witnessing Viktor hurt Yuuri. Especially like that. The young Russian tied his hair back running his hands through the matted pony-tail, and flumped his weight against the closest wall. His head fell to the side, eyes in view of the handgun he had previously dropped in case of Viktor had charged for that instead. Well, if he was in desperate need of protection he had the weapon. That didn’t mean a bullet needed to be used when carrying a gun, a smack to the head would do just fine.

Yuuri pulled his coat tighter around himself for comfort. The tips of his fingers brushed his neck, just where Viktor had strangled him. He pressed his eyes shut in desperate hope to erase the image of Viktor’s empty face, Natalya noticed his unease and invited him to sit beside her, patting the log beneath.

“You don’t have to speak, I wouldn’t expect myself to if that had happened. Um, you can just nod yes or no, I guess. Is that okay?” The girl rambled, not realising the faint panic in her own voice.

Yuuri cleared his throat, “I can and I will. I just, can’t believe, everything.”

The understanding glimmer in Natalya’s eyes soothed Yuuri nerves, “Okay. So, why don’t you tell me what happened? Starting from when you both left.”

………

The close rumbling off a familiar engine in the distance tore Viktor from his sleep. A can of beans and a half-filled bottled water were placed to his left. The first spoonful filled his slight hunger, the second not as much and the third he coughed back up. The past week felt like his only meal had been beans, the taste just wasn’t pleasant anymore, more like a pile of slop swishing around his stomach. He gulped half of the spared water down, washing out the horrid, bland texture from his senses.

He ran his hands through his hair, tugging at his roots. He remembered everything. It was a clear image in his head, he didn’t understand why he did it, almost like a desired power consumed him, but why towards Yuuri? Anyone but Yuuri, it could have Kostya, Viktor wouldn’t care then, but, Yuuri, why did it have to be Yuuri?

The look of horror in his eyes, bulging and watered, panicking for help. Viktor had ‘never’ seen the sparkle of hazel that traumatized, ever, in the time he’d known Yuuri. And the reason behind was because of himself.

The roaring of the truck was louder now, parking outside the building. Heavy footsteps followed the outer wall. Viktor followed on the inside of the building, listening as the number of steps grew, subtle ones replacing the heavier.

“W-what are you still doing here?! You need to leave, now!” Kostya’s voice echoed out.

“We had an incident, Viktor, he, d-don’t worry about it! But, why the rush?” Natalya replied.

“Is he okay?”

“He’s resting.”

“Okay. But you need to leave!”

“Why? What happened? Did they see you?!”

“Fucking hell they did. You need to leave. They followed me, and they’re not far behind. Take them and go!”

Viktor hurried towards the door, pulling a coat and a pair of boots on before barging out. The cold air alarmed every uncovered nerve and cell, pinching at his face. All four stood outside, Kostya dressed in the same dark jacket he had left with arms gripped on Natalya. Yuuri stood behind, eyes to his feet, and Yurio linked arm with his in support of his balance.

“Who’s they?” He blurted out.

Everyone turned their heads, eyes mixed of awe and concern. Yuuri raised his, sharing one glance with Viktor, then quickly removing his eyes to his feet again.

Kostya stepped back from Natalya, “Not them. They wouldn’t dare to leave the building, unless they had a damn good reason to. They’ve sent their best troops, and they have assault-rifles! They will not fucking hesitate! You all need to leave! None of you are getting hurt because of me, I’ve already done enough to you, Viktor. So, please, just get going.”

Natalya growled under her breath catching Kostya’s attention. “Why do you do this to yourself?!”

He sighed, knowing his actions were in falling in the wrong, “Because they are letting people suffer, innocent people, Natalya. I have to do this. Otherwise, who will?”

She gritted her teeth holding her tears back, “Why? Why? Why? Why?!” She cried tugging at the man’s jacket.

Kostya removed her hands from his outerwear and pulled the small girl close, wrapping her sorrowed self under his protection. “I know. I know.”

Natalya cried softly into his warmth, she knew how this was going to end. Kostya wasn’t coming back. He was sacrificing himself, being bait, he wasn’t going to run this time. A glisten blurred Viktor’s sight. This was how they were, just as kids. Protecting one another while fighting for the right thing. This, this is what he was used to. Even when the situation was just as complicated, they still stuck up for each other, no matter the consequence. No one was ever intentionally thrown under the bus. Kostya was fighting for the right thing, all of Russia was affected, not just them, he was trying to help all, and he knew the negatives from it, that didn’t stop him.

Natalya pulled away first, struggling to speak through her sobs, she turned quickly dragging both Yuri’s with her towards her truck.

It was just Kostya and Viktor now.

“You’re really going to do this?”

The man itched at his stubble, let out a deep huff to the ground and nodded. “It’s for the best. Go on, get going. You have a fiance to marry.” He gave a brief smile and gestured his hand to follow him.

They walked to his truck, he reached in and received a black bag. Viktor stood nearby, thinking how long they had left and how far back the troops were behind exactly. Six minutes had surely passed, they shouldn’t be that far away, if they were following the tracks from his tires, that is. In his hand sat four similar glass cylinders filled with the familiar bright yellow.

“You’ll need these” he said, offering them to Viktor’s palm.

Viktor hesitated, eyes thankful towards his brother. Kostya wasn’t excused from their past, nor was it forgotten. But, Viktor felt a heartfelt guilt to forgive him, he wanted to let it go, he hated the distraught hauntings from holding onto it. He stepped forwards unintentionally slow, wrapping one arm around his shoulder and pulling the man into a hug. Viktor tightened the closure, he needed Kostya to understand the message from that embrace. They both lived a past prisoned under their parents, there wasn’t a lot you could do about that. And that was okay. It was in the past. Still there, but in the past.

Kostya hugged him tightly in return with one arm, the other sliding down Viktor’s back and ruffling into the pocket of his coat. “Take these and take care.” He whispered to his ear.

Viktor nodded, and parted from his brother. “Thank you.”

The two separated directions, Kostya leaning against his truck as distance engines charged down the road. Viktor jogged towards the others, glancing back once more to notice the paired Jeeps. He kept onward, heart dropping the further he continued his tracks. He wanted to turn around. He wanted to help. He wasn’t afraid.

He noticed the two Russian’s waiting in the car, Yurio behind the wheel, Natalya cupping her mouth, cheeks soaked with tears and eyes focused behind him. Yuuri stood outside the car, remaining by the door. Viktor slowed his pace, hesitant the closer he got. He craved a hug, but he knew it wasn’t right to do that, Yuuri needed time.  
Instead, he kept a slight distance as he gently embraced the frigid hands within his, rubbing his thumbs thoroughly across the soft of his knuckles. “Yuuri, I don’t know how to say sorry without saying ‘sorry’, I know that’s not enough. It will never be enough.” He whispered close and sincere, eyes begging for the pair of hazel to meet his.

Yuuri kept his head low, eyes watering, glasses fogging. “It’s okay.”

Viktor softly tugged at his hands, “No, not okay. Yuuri, not okay.”

Yuuri sniffled, forcing himself to raise his head. Merciful tears surfaced, he was okay, and he had forgiven Viktor, it wasn’t his fault, but he knew Viktor would never forgive himself. “Viktor, I” He choked in his words, throwing his weight towards him.

Viktor picked the emotional Japanese up by his waist, holding him close, not ever wanting to let go. He caressed his tongue to the nape of the man’s neck, sucking at the warmth, dispersing the guilt in his heart. Yuuri whimpered, muffling his small cry as Viktor eased his balance to his feet, following with soft kisses along his jaw. Viktor removed his lips and brushed the warm tears from the softened sadness in his fiance’s eyes.

Yuuri quivered under his gentle touch, Viktor took it the wrong way and began to slid out of his coat. “Here, I don’t want you to get sick, you’ve only just gotten better, wear this, okay?”

He nodded, solemnly understanding he wasn’t going to win if he argued against.

A cynical thump behind startled both men, Kostya was thrown to his knees, front pressed to the snow under two soldiers, another stood guard staring directly at the couple. Yuuri snarled, it was the guy from the fence. The tall with the broader build, the one who had mocked them both. Viktor noticed also and pushed Yuuri onward into the back seat.

Before slipping his weight in, Viktor watched as his brother was restrained beneath two Russians beaming down at him, they were smaller than him, Kostya could easily take them. The one watching guard held a rifle tampering Kostya’s face with it, laughing in the process. Viktor bit down on his gum, Yuuri tugged at his sleeve begging for him to be strong and walk away. But he couldn’t, he could not just watch his brother get arrested for the doing the right thing, doing a humane thing, he was just trying to help.  
“Dammit. He doesn’t deserve this.” He hissed, pulling himself from Yuuri’s reach and forcing his legs into a sprint.

“Viktor, no!” Yuuri called behind him.

“What is he doing?!” Natalya wailed, shoving her door open and chasing after.

Viktor shifted his eyes between the one on guard, then the two tackling Kostya. Who would he take out first? Who would be the best to take out first? Knocking the two would give Kostya a chance to run, but then the one standing watch had his rifle armed. No matter which path Viktor took the weapon was their highest danger. He skidded slightly in his run, changing direction towards the soldier off to the side currently with his back to him. One of the other two noticed hesitating in his actions, words stuttering. The soldier beside him flicked his head, linking eyes with Viktor, a black short cut shaped his head, and a pair of sharp blue eyes lunged towards Viktor.

He was fast, recklessly jumping onto Viktor, falling into the snow two metres away from the solider Viktor had originally aimed for. The solider scampered up first, plunging his foot into Viktor’s side.

Viktor groaned to the impact, clutching his hands to his waist. The soldier threw his foot again, boot digging into Viktor’s ribs. “You’re a stupid fucker, really, you are.” He chuckled, pounding another kick to his stomach.

The soldier armed with the weapon turned, yanking the man by his shoulder afar from Viktor. “Well, nice to see you again, Nikiforov.”

The blue in the other’s eyes shimmered with amusement, “Nikiforov, eh? You must be the gay one, well, comrade, all yours, I don’t have time to deal with such fags.” He turned and strode back to Kostya, grasping hold of his roots, faded strawberry-blond. “This your brother, eh? Well, ain’t this going to be fun.”  
The man towering over Viktor chortled to himself, a sly pleasure bouldering in his eyes. “This is from your father” he hoarsely whispered before viciously planting another foot to Viktor’s middle.

A hard blow collided into Viktor’s skin. He winced into the snow. A thick liquid was choking up at the back of his throat, and a cold oozing alarmed his insides. Another strike clashed to his chest, and a few repeated scaling down his front. His ribs felt fractured, and his chest was most defiantly winded. Viktor pressed his eyes shut, allowing the pain to suppress him. The throbbing began to tingle, numbing at the pain.

The two other soldiers in tow watched, one digging his knee into Kostya’s back, the other still with a threatening grip on Kostya’s hair, yanking his eyes level with the scenario. “See old friend, this is what happens when he did nothing wrong, I wonder what’s in-store for you.” He snarled close, breathing into his ear.

A strike to Viktor’s stomach sent his body trembling, grunting into the soft ice beneath him. The soldier raised his leg again, preparing to swing hard.

“Kick him again and you’ll get a blow to your leg! Do you understand?!” Natalya was screaming from a distance, storming up to the two with her handgun in tight grip, targeted towards him. She freed a hand pulling a leathered material from her coat, flicking it open exposing her federate badge. “I am with the Russian Federation Council! I demand you to step away from both men, now!” 

A deep chuckle bellowed behind the soldier hovering Viktor, blue eyes emerging from Kostya’s side. “Natalya, angel face. Nice to see you.”

Instinctively Natalya threw her aim towards the voice, eyes still struck on the man above Viktor.

“Now, now, lower you gun. This isn’t your business.”

Natalya glared her eyes towards the Russian, both hands firmly positioning the gun. At this rate, she wouldn’t miss.

Both Yuri’s weren’t far behind, carefully watching each soldier, highly aware of their motives. Yurio’s hand clutched to the side of his jeans, loosely brushing his gun.

Natalya continued forward, “In fact it is, you see...” her head jumped to Viktor, in notice of the soldier arching his leg, “Do you want a hole through your fucking knee, soldier?!”

The sly of blue tapped a hand on the soldier Natalya had her eye on, “ignore her. She doesn’t know how to use that thing. Now, I’ll give you one last chance, angel. Lower your arm and we can take you back to your daddy and sort this out.”

She held her ground, Yurio slowly wrapped his fingers around the pocketed-gun. Yuuri noticed and cautiously placed a hand on his, in warning to stop.

The soldier pinning Kostya to the ground laughed in his position, pushing the dirty blonde fringe-that just brushed his nose-afar from his face, “Anton, I thought you were her daddy.”

Anton quirked his brow and leaned back in his stand crossing his arms over his chest. “Quite right, I was.”

Natalya hissed, charging her feet towards the Russian grinning over her. “But that’s where you’re wrong. Don’t you think if I could handle you, I can handle a small toy like this?” She pouted her lips swinging the gun carelessly in her grasp. When she got close enough, she lowered the fire-arm and trailed a finger up the man’s front tweaking at the collar of his shirt, then swiftly pressing the gun to his chin, “that is where you are so wrong.”

“Baby cakes, did you forget?” His lips caved close brushing her ear, hand sliding to her inner thigh, “I know all your weak spots.” His touch on her thigh tightened pulling her leg up and flipping her weight to the ground. In the moment, Natalya dropped the gun and kicked it aside with all effort before toppling under the man’s figure.

“Leave her out of this, Anton. Get back to your mission.”

The Russian restrained the girl’s arms above her head, and turned in his position to Kostya. “This isn’t part of my mission. This, is more of a pleasure.” One hand pinned Natalya’s hands, the other teased at her coat unbuttoning with a whistle to each as he flicked them undone. He reached the last button sliding his hand within the material and ripping it back, revealing her grey sweater beneath. “Now, boys, how much does your baby sister mean to you both?”

Viktor raised to his knees, he couldn’t watch this, he had to do something. The soldier before him turned and threw his weight to the snow again with his boot.

His guttered groan sent Yuuri stepping forwards. Yurio shoved his chest back, he knew it was tough, but he they had to stay back. They weren’t any help if they got meddled within it too.

Natalya squirmed, thrusting her chest forwards from Anton’s grasp. Her last lunge, he slipped his hand behind her waist and dragged her hips between his legs, pushing her sweater and tee back in the process, exposing her chest. He wrapped a finger around the strap of her bra. She threw herself up and spat in his face.

The soldier standing aside Viktor kneeled to his ear, “told you she has a good rack.”

Viktor turned away, burying his face into the snow, he couldn’t pull himself to watch it. The icy coldness surfacing from the white numbed at his face. He whined to his wounds, tucking himself into a ball.

A softness in Yuuri’s eyes singed at his heart, he could see Viktor from a distance crying and whimpering, helpless to the ground. Yurio watched also, hand twitching at his waist.  
“Yurio, don’t.”

The young blonde scowled and threw his arms to his chest.

Natalya raced through her mind, desperate for a new tactic. She swung her hip to the side, knocking the Russian and pulled one leg from between his legs and positioned her boot firm against his groin ready to kick when given the perfect chance.

Anton peered down to her threat, chuckling to himself and digging his weight against her boot. “I like the way you think, Natalya. But, you would know the rougher, the more intriguing it is.”

Yurio was done, so done. Reaching for the handgun, quickly switching the safety-lock off, both hands in firm hold, he pulled the trigger. The gun recoiled in his hands, an explosion of bark whipped past the soldier’s head as the bullet hit the tree.

The man rolled his eyes to the teen’s ignorance and sighed, “How old are ya, kid?”

“S-seventeen.”

“Well, kid. You just attempted an offence on an official and you didn’t quite watch your back.”

Yurio kept the handgun in aim, while shifting his gaze to the soldier also well-armed and pointing the assault-rifle at his own target. Him. He removed his eyes from the weapon barreling in his direction and linked eyes with the pair of angered blue. “Look at yourself, you just sexually harassed a federate.”

Anton nodded, “You know your stuff, huh? But, I don’t see it that way. Do you, baby cakes?”

Natalya furrowed her brows, grey eyes daunted in despise, “you bastard.”

The Russian huffed releasing his grasp from Natalya’s hands, stretching his arms and cracking his knuckles. It wasn’t over yet.  
“You know, Kostya. You’re right. We have a mission to do and nothing can get in our way. Right, get it over with, he’s just a kid anyway.”

"Yuri! No!” Natalya screamed, shoving at the weight still straddled above her. Anton planted his fist to the girl’s face, knuckles colliding with her jaw. She fell back, hand clutching to the side of her jaw, eyes stunned in tears and horror.

Viktor raised his head as Natalya’s screeching fulfilled the air. The click of a gun heavily-loaded shifted his panic to the soldier’s back ahead of him. He scrambled within the snow, throwing all his energy towards the man’s knees, weight colliding and throwing his aim off.

A round of a gunfire echoed through the ruckus.

Viktor fell back, slight vision between the soldier’s legs, a navy-blue coat too large for whoever was wearing it, blur in front of the blonde both bodies collapsing to the ground.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys...we're one step away from the last chapter, I am not okay.


	13. This Isn't A Goodbye

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everything must come to an end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YOOOOO, IT'S THE LAST CHAPTER DSGHCVDi am sad this is ending. I enjoyed writing it, and enjoyed responding to your comments and dm's of sneaking hints (which you never got), ily all honestly, I don't know what i'm going to do after I finish this..
> 
> enjoy the little swift last chapter ;))

Yuuri stumbled within his footing watching the teen pull the gun from his waist, firing to the soldier trapping the girl beneath him.

The bullet chipped the wood, missing the man’s head.

Everything that happened from then on, was a distortion of sound. Natalya shrieking for Yurio’s life, an assault-rifle being locked into place, Yurio’s footsteps stuttering within the snow. A grunt from Viktor, and a round of heavy fire chasing shortly. It was all just a cloud. Yuuri didn’t know what to do, but he knew what his sub-conscious was telling him to do. Swiftly, and impulsively Yuuri immediately grabbed the blonde by his shoulders, swinging his figure in front.

The pair of aqua-green eyes froze in panic, noticing the Japanese’s move. “Yuuri…” He whispered as they both plunged to the ground.

The snow picked up under his feet, flicking small damp splatters of ice to his face as bullets hit the earth. A shatter of glass resonated within the pattern of gun-fire. It was all too fast, and too loud for the teen to equate anything.

Yuuri’s weight was heavy, scampering back he picked up the man under his arms, dragging him to his lap. “Fuck! Yuuri?! T-tell me you’re okay! Yuuri?! Fuck!”

Yuuri blinked one eye open, too afraid to open both. From his feet, to his calves, thighs, waist, chest, shoulders, arms-everything his entire body trembling from nerves. Surprisingly, nothing hurt, no sharp sting, no heavy emptiness oozing out of his body…h-he was okay?

“Yuuri, y-you’re bleeding…”

He frowned, pushing himself afar from the young Russian padding his body down. “N-no, I’m not” His eyes scanned every inch of his chest, nothing, there was no blood-riddled material, t-there was nothing. He was clean.

Yurio grabbed the man’s hand cautiously tugging it down the pocket of his coat, pressing it over the dampened fabric. Yuuri winced as a sharp surface pricked his skin, he almost let out a laughter of relief. Pulling his hand from the teen’s grip he carefully dug his fingers into to the pocket, fiddling for the closest object, exposing a shard of glass, a yellow glow dripping along the edge.

“I-I missed?!” The soldier shrieked in confusion, spinning his heels in anger towards Viktor. “You! You, gay piece of shit!” He re-clicked the rifle and prodded it to Viktor’s chest. “Who gave you the right?! You, you fuck!” He pressed the gun deeper the longer Viktor didn’t reply, “Huh?! Answer me!”

A bang of a car door slamming in the near distance alarmed everyone. Not a single one of them heard the car roll up.

Two men heavily bulk in black suits strode through the snow, a smaller figure with grey tips tied back into a bun walked between sharing the same attire. She paused, the two men immediately following her actions. “Could someone care to explain why my son has a rifle to his chest?” She demanded, brows pointing, eyes cold steel.

The gun wobbled slightly to the nervous grip of the man above. Viktor sighed to how weak everything felt, but he was thankful, so thankful that Yuuri was okay.

“Uh, h-he assaulted me ma’am.”

The lady shifted in her pose, “And what would give him the reason to?”

The man removed his eye contact, stuttering in his speech. “Uh, I, uh, I don’t know ma’am.”

“Remove the gun, soldier.”

“Y-yes, ma’am.”

The man tucked the rifle behind his shoulder, straightening his stand placing both hands by his thighs. The woman wavered her hands towards Viktor, whispering close to her bodyguards. They rushed over, supporting Viktor to his feet. Yuuri bolted over almost immediately thanking the suited men, tucking Viktor’s arm across his neck and balancing his weight on his side.

“Alexandra...I can explain.” The Russian mentioned pulling Natalya from the ground.

She raised a hand ordering to the man to stop talking, she didn’t care for his excuse. “Anton, remove yourself from my daughter. I’d like a word with you. And Natalya, dear, fix yourself up and get your brother and his friends out of here.” The woman turned her ease to Kostya slowly standing to his own two feet, she sighed in slight disappointment, then called for Anton to follow her.

Kostya jogged towards Natalya, who was tugging at her sweater flattening the material across her chest.

“Y-you alright?”

She picked up her coat from the snow, wrapping it around herself “I’m fine. Just, a little embarrassed.”

“By what? From your brothers seeing you in a bra? Or, the fact that you attempted a seductive tactic to a male soldier, who is directly taught not to be fooled by exactly that?” Or…was it…the fact that you have a daddy kink?” He burst a laughter as the freckled cheeks flushed a light shade of pink.

“Fuck you, you ass.” Natalya objected, giggling shortly after. She turned in memory of Yurio firing his handgun, “Are you okay?” she asked patting the teen on his shoulder, “you did well today, thank you, Yura.”

The blonde nodded slightly, shielding himself within his hood as his head recalled he almost died. If it weren’t for the partnered dorks, he would have been bleeding-out by a dozen holes into the snow.

………

“Who sent you?” The woman asked.

Anton shifted in his stand, “The boss, ma’am.”

“Who usually give orders?” She pried, arms overlapped across her chest.

“You, ma’am.”

She nodded in agreement, “And do you think he would have discussed this with his wife?”

The soldier lowered his gaze, “No, ma’am.”

The female Russian let out a heavy sigh, turned in the snow to face the other two soldiers awkwardly standing waiting for an order. “Forget the arrest, drop all assaults, forget everything. None of this happened, you didn’t find them. Is that clear?”

The soldiers nodded solemnly, eye contact distant from the woman.

She cleared her throat, “Do I have to repeat myself?!”

The men raised their heads, saluting a hand, “No, ma’am!”

Anton straightened his chest, broadening his shoulders, “No evidence was found of the searchings for Kostya Nikiforov, ma’am!”

“Good. Get in the Jeeps and leave when I give the go.”

The three soldiers grunted to themselves as they waited in the paired trucks, Anton stayed quiet, both annoyed and utterly embarrassed from the sudden confrontation. The bodyguards stood outside on watch of the three men.

“Mom…” Natalya hummed as she ran up to the women wrapping her small arms around the fragile figure.

The woman hugged her daughter in return, “I want you to stay somewhere safe, this will be over soon, if you haven’t noticed it stopped snowing this morning.”

Natalya removed herself from the warm embrace staring up at the dismal cloud, “I, I didn’t even realize.”

Everyone joined the curiosity in the girl’s eyes. The air was still, there were no more chunky white flakes toppling to the ground. Yuuri swore to himself the sky had lightened to a lighter grey than it had been the day before.

Kostya shifted his eyes from the daze-of-hope everyone surrounding seemed to be stuck in, stepping towards the two females. “Why? I mean, you had the perfect chance, you could have just taken me into custody then and there!“

Natalya shared the concern with her brother, eyes watering with confusion.

A glisten of a deep regret slipped from their mother’s eyes, whom was keeping her head low. “Because I hate your father. He is an arsehole. But I cannot leave my position, therefore I must stay. I am giving you all a chance of freedom, you are my children. How would a mother live with knowing her babies are in continuous stress?”

Viktor’s sight blurred to the snow, he was the first to escape. Maybe he did have it the worst and maybe he felt he had a right to leave and maybe that’s why his father never found him because of her. But, still, Natalya and Kostya had it just as equal. In their own ways, they were stuck and abused. They were there much longer than Viktor ever was, he couldn’t bring himself to complain.

The Russian girl let out a silent cry and wrapped herself around her mother once more, understanding the brutality they all endured. She parted from the safe arms and turned to the others, “We’ll stay at mine, then when things get better I’ll take you back to St. Petersburg, okay? And Kostya, it’s up to you what you wish to do.”

The man scratched a finger at his eyebrow in slow thought, and cleared his throat. “I’ll head my own way. Travel around. Leave you guys in peace. When this shithole is clear, I’ll find a way to contact you, yeah?”

She nodded in agreement, grey eyes meeting green. She was okay with that. After all, he was a grown man. A chuckle erupted through her stomach bursting a confused laughter, “When you make contact, we’ll hold that fortieth you never got.”

………

Yurio spent the past seven minutes begging and pleading to drive the girl’s truck. Each reply meant the same. ‘Just because you got to fire a gun, doesn’t mean you are capable to drive.’ Then, ‘You may drive with Viktor and Yuuri but not with me.’ After, ‘Yura, you’re a child. Piss off.’

“Gahhh, fine.” He boringly exhaled, kicking his boot to the white cloud. He came to a sudden thought and spun in his stand facing the girl. “How long do you think it will take? To fix all this I mean.”

Natalya dragged her beanie from her head, ruffling her free hand through her hair and straitening her fringe. “Could take years, Yura. So, I’m not really sure.” She locked her eyes with his, noticing the sadness in his stare. Tucking a lock behind her ear she spoke again, “For now, let’s focus on getting you guys back to mine. We’ll have to help Viktor, he’s going to need a lot of rest. Then, I guess we wait.”

The blonde nodded. His eyes rolled to the couple, Viktor had planted his arse against the car, head resting on Yuuri’s shoulder. The Japanese standing before him, hands caressing the man’s forearms. Almost, somewhat, in their silent they still managed a way of comfort for each other.

A deep rumble of three heavy engines growled, catching everyone’s attention. The two-paired army jeeps left first, rolling afar flicking snow up from under the tires. The third left last, slow in the u-turn and slower down the neglected expressway. Kostya strode through the thick white clinging to his boots, yanking the heavy door open to his rusted truck. He gave a brief wave, eyes sincere, smiling with a mean of goodbye without being said. The man heaved his weight up and into the vehicle, cranking the engine soon after. The back headlights blinked on, reflecting small glimmers within the snow. The tires began to revolve forwards, smouldering into the snow beneath kicking up heavy chunks as the motor eventually moved onward.

Viktor peered over Yuuri’s shoulder as he balanced underneath, cuddling his weakened weight. The lingered hatred and disgust that he had held onto for so fucking long, was gone. It was a past moment, one that had no words to explain how disturbed it felt, but that didn’t matter. It didn’t need to matter. Viktor was happy where he was now. What mattered was the present, the now. Yuuri, Yurio, Chris, everyone, skating. It was all better in the now.  
His lips curved into a soft grin as the rusted, old, red truck faded into a tiny speck estranged upon the horizon until it was nothing. Gone. Just like his past, but if he wanted, he could memorize it in a heartbeat, and if desperate enough, he would most definitely remember the dent he left there, himself.

………

The four were in Natalya’s truck in journey of their few hours’ drive back to Danilov. Yurio and the girl herself, sat in the front. Viktor and Yuuri in back, the Russian asleep stretched across, head resting upon his fiance’s lap. Yuuri kept his mellow gaze in awe, head down to the calming peace in the man’s sleep-face. Yuuri cupped his hand against the delicacy of the man’s soft cheek, stroking along his jaw in continuous slow, gentle brushes. Viktor twitched under every few touch, nuzzling further into the small palm.

The blonde Russian stirred in the seat ahead of Yuuri. Turning in his weight facing the two, his brow furrowing as he watched over the sleeping Russian. He locked eyes with Yuuri’s again, then faintly back down to Viktor. “How is he?”

“Tired, sore, but I think he will be okay” and he meant it. Psychically, Yuuri knew Viktor would be a child and extremely clingy for the next few days, but emotionally, he believed Viktor would stable his emotions eventually, and soon everything he had bottled up in his heart would calm down. Yuuri, himself knew he would never fully understand what hell Viktor went through as a child, he grew up around love and caring parents. But, at least now he knew small portions of his past and could comfort him when the time was needed, and slowly over the years Yuuri would build up the small courage in Viktor to dig his way further.

Yurio bounced in the passenger side face riddled with excitement, aqua-green eyes beaming. The sudden jump alerted Natalya from her daze, tightening her grip on the wheel. Viktor squirmed into the flesh of Yuuri’s thighs, slowly widening his eyes as he woke.

The teen froze in his mid-action, noticing his eruptions had effected everyone. He chuckled lightly to himself before clapping his palms together in loud announcement. “So, while you two dorks were out on your cheery little adventure, Natalya and I dug up a calendar and traced back the days, and we figured out what day it is and date and month and everything!”

The girl laughed removing her eyes from the road, “Right, yes, we did. And?”

He quickly caught onto her lead and twisted his weight back to Yuuri, mouth wide in pure excitement. Almost like an exhilaration a child would have for a celebration, like Christmas, or New Years…what if they had missed anything? What was happening on the outside of Russia? 

“And we discovered that it’s almost March! Two days away from first of March, aka, the coolest day on Earth!” The teen continued exclaiming, overpowering Yuuri's thoughts.

Viktor rose, blinking blankly to the window. Right, his birthday. March. Their wedding was scheduled for the 22nd of March. “H-how long has it been? All together I mean.” The Russian softly mumbled.

Yurio paused, pressing a balled fist to his face in thought. When it came to the boy he jumped again, “Okay. So, I was heading for Moscow on the eighteenth, but because of the dogs disappearing, and from all the information you two provided, Natalya and I guessed this all started on the sixteenth of February. Exactly ten days ago.”

The pair of blue glistened. It had only been ten days? It felt so much longer. And too many past twists exposed in under ten days, ten fucking days. He couldn’t believe it. It didn’t feel real, none of it did.

“So, Yura, what would you like to do?” Natalya chimed, cheesy grin lifting the silence.

“Gah, sleep all day.” The teen sighed into his seat, kicking his feet upon the dash.

The girl scoffed, “That’s all you’ve been doing for the past four days.”

The brim of the boy’s sneakers were now a dirtied white, soon blending in with the yellow of his leopard-print shoes. Narrowing his eyes to the disgust he pulled down his feet, “Fine. I do want to celebrate it, with you guys. I do. Just, what is there to do?”

Yuuri squeezed gently to the heated touch intertwined with his. Viktor noticed, turning his slightly and wrapping each fingertip across the smaller hand. A soft fuzz tingled within his heart as his ring-finger brushed a cold surface. His eyes cooed to the sudden thought that trickled his mind. This, this could work. And it might just do. The Russian tapped intentionally to Yuuri’s ringed finger, smiling to himself then shifting the heart-felt grin to the man confused beside him. “I think I have an idea.”

Yurio clucked his tongue to his excite of this idea, “Yeah? Like what?”

The Japanese picked up on the patter of Viktor’s finger to his ring. His eyes watered a soft joy almost immediately. Yuuri blinked back the emotions, parting his lips to agree. “I think I like this idea” he said, eyes greeting with the pair of memorizing blue he’d always felt captured within. 

** The End **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Friendly reminder that this is the last chapter of the main story, but be sure to look out for the epilogue. Should be uploaded within the next three days! Hopefully! 
> 
> Again, thank you all so much for the support on this! Originally it was going to be seven chapters, but here we are thirteen chapters later..<333 I can't thank you guys enough :)
> 
> I STILL CANNOT BELIEVE THIS IS IT, AAHHHHHHHHHHHHH


	14. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It was a difficult to imagine being home, in Hasetsu. At least for Yuuri, it was. Now that so much had happened. Just maybe, maybe he'd see it again, see everyone again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Big ol' kind reminder that this an epilogue of carrying on what happened after the main story, and has no straight continued plot from the main story.. 
> 
> enjoy this last emotional ride :')

There was always something about airplanes that never appealed Viktor. Crying babies, up-themselves flight assistants, how claustrophobic it felt sometimes, a ‘fragile’ label didn’t stop the luggage from being thrown onto the conveyor-belt, the loud ruckus from the flushing the toilet especially, he hated the overall aura. But, he enjoyed the sky. Appreciated being up high within the clouds. It had a pretty mood to it. Comforting, almost.  
That’s why he always slept on flights, to bypass time. He wouldn’t have to worry for the small annoyances. 

Right now, at this very second, he could not sleep. He tossed and shifted his weight in his seat countless times, rested his elbow on the armrest and comforted his cheek to his palm, held Yuuri’s hand for a sense of calm, a need for sooth. Nothing, nothing worked. Oh, but sleeping beauty beside could peacefully daze off against the window.

Viktor scrunched his nose and threw his bitter glare to his left, to the isle across. Natalya sat in the closest chair, head rested back, eyes closed. Her hand softly placed upon the blond’s hair, as he also had fallen asleep, head sunk into the girl’s lap.

His eyes rolled back to his hand linked with Yuuri’s. A glow of warmth from the sunlight pouring in by the window lit up both hands. The Russian stared lost for a moment, embracing the wave of ease rippling through his heart.

Counting down from one-hundred, Viktor allowed his eye lids to fall in one last attempt to fall asleep.

..

It had been nine months. Nine months since the last sighting of Viktor’s brother and mother. Nine months of heavily slept days, some completely restless with no sleep at all, novels were read, card games of UNO were played, numerous rounds of 21 Questions, a birthday, a wedding, and a whole lot of patience.

The first month; the snowing had stopped completely and the radiation was no longer in effect. Neither Viktor or Natalya had gotten ill, Yurio at times, claimed it was the secret power of being a Nikiforov. An eighteenth was celebrated on the first of March. Natalya had a bottle of whiskey, vodka and a few dozen-year-old wines she’d kindly agreed to use for the night. A few hiccups and giggles were well truly remembered. None chose to get heavily trashed as they had a wedding to attend on the second of March. A part two to the teen’s celebration of becoming an adult.

It was small, not the couple’s dream wedding, but, still held a strong meaning to them both. The ceremony was public to all man-made snowman guests, wrapped with different coloured scarves and beanies. Yurio may have committed an assisted murder that morning. Natalya read a chapter aloud from one of her favourite novels, using her top rated scene to read in her position as the reverend. The young adult, had taken the responsibility as the ring-bearer although ten years too old to do so and dropping the two gold objects into the snow on the way. Twigs and picked forest leaves shaped a pathway to the alter of the logged cottage porch. The couple both stood, teeth chattering through their vows, rugged in two layers of pants and coats, laughing through the awkward moments of icy silence.

It was simple and stupid, everyone agreed to that overall opinion. But, thankfully it wasted a day’s time and exultant memories still longed to be told.

The second, third, fourth, and the first two weeks of the fifth month; were spent dismal and futile. The third week into the fifth month; July, the snow had whitened clean and lowered a few centimetres. The sky was slowly clearing, blue patches appearing here and there. Two troops arrived at the girl’s door informing them of the soon power to be up and running again in big cities, only hospital and law purposes. With a following crate of fresh food and bottled waters.

The six month; a fresh blue had consumed over half the sky, some areas with sluggish grey hovering still. Power was in Moscow, the critically ill were submitted to hospitals, others had treatments checked then asked to move on. Towards the end of August other cities had regained power, weak but still viable. And river systems were no longer contaminated and radiation-free.

By the seventh and eighth month; town communities had supported each other, shared supplies, comforting those who had lost loved ones. Some people grew a courage to recover dead bodies, have them identified and give them a respected burial. Most cities and small towns had cleared roads and re-opened some shops. The sky was completely ocean during daylight, a beautiful blue wavering across the sky. The nights eventually became lighter, the country was finally shaping into Russia once again.

When the ninth month arrived, airports were progressing with huge support from other countries, worldwide. Government officials and royalties had access to the flights first. All the currencies and finances had been dropped, global foundations had circulated, raising almost enough to cover everyone’s flights for the first year. Over the weeks, Natalya booked a flight for all four, in heading to Japan. It was November, soon to be Yuuri’s birthday. The closer the date of the booked flight enclosed, phone signals were weak but they were there. Viktor had managed to inform his closest friend, Chris, about their safety and their plan to reunite at Hasetsu airport on the 25th. Shortly after an overwhelmed text of relief and Chris confirming he’d spread the message along, the phone signal’s cut due circulation difficulties. No one had heard from Mila, or the rest, but they had hope, strong hope.

Early morning on the 25th of November, the four had caught a flight in Moscow, as St. Petersburg weren’t supporting trips to Japan. After their nine-hour flight, landing in Tokyo, the four continued their next two-hour flight on their way to Hasetsu. Home.

..

Viktor had made his count to the number thirty-three and had given up. “Love, it’s not working. I have tried every, single, thing. I can’t sleep.”

Yuuri snuggled into the man’s shoulder, humming into his warmth. “You’re just stressed. Everything will be okay, just relax a little.” He mumbled.

The Russian sighed, maybe he was right. He could have been a little stressed. They were almost under an hour away from landing in Hasetsu. Where everyone was, well actually Viktor had no idea who was going. He never reached further contact with Chris after the lines died. It could just be Chris. Could be everyone. Viktor didn’t know. The thought of who not coming dwelled on him most, deepening his nerve.

No. Yuuri said to relax. He pressed his hand to his face, he shouldn’t be thinking that. Lifting his fringe, he pulled his head into the isle peering down the middle strip of the plane. A hand was tapping against the armrest ahead, a few heads were drooped to their sleeping, and a blonde female attendant at the front with a petite waist nodded quickly to a slim delicate hand, then turned in her heels and ducked behind the piloted-part of the plane. The hand tucked away then back revealing a curl of scarlet red. Viktor nearly jumped in his seat. No, no, he couldn’t get his hopes up like that. It could be anyone.

But he had to check.  
He had to know, it could be her.  
Viktor had to be sure.

“Yuuri, I’m just going to go the toilet, I’ll b-be right back.” he stuttered within that great hope he shouldn’t have been holding onto. Yuuri nodded into his chest and leaned his weight back to the window as Viktor impulsively scrambled out of his seat, armrest blocking the way as he hadn’t lifted it.

He figured if he walked to the toilet he’d passed the red-haired female, and possibly, just maybe he’d get a look at the girl’s face. The closer he got, the heavier his footsteps felt. He would do it on the way back, go in the toilet, calm himself, then leave casually and check on the way back. It would be look less stalker-ish anyway.

He swiftly strode pass the seated female, catching a familiar scent. His eyes watered in his pause, he stepped forwards opening the door to toilet on his left. A muffled shuffle against a seat, a snap of a heel and a light tug on the sleeve of his coat removed his grip from the handle.

“Excuse me?” a soft, but yet, deeply accented voice called behind him.

Viktor recognized the female tone instantly, heart welling up with a longed dread of the uncertainty. He turned his relieved glare over his shoulder, the girl began to speak again reconsidering her own moves.

“Sorry, you just looked like a fri-…Viktor?”

“Mila.” He whispered eyes reaching a shaken pearl blue. The girl carried dark circles under both eyes, and cheeks a little sunken. He guessed he appeared the same, himself.

“Oh my god! Viktor!” She whimpered clutching tight grasp of the man’s arms.

He nodded shockingly, eyes flicking to the Russian to Mila’s right, slumbering against the window. Georgi.

“W-where is Yuri? And Yuuri? Are they here? Are they okay?!”

Viktor returned his eyes to the girl. “Yes, yes they’re both fine. What about the others? Have you heard from anyone?”

“I heard from Chris but that was all. Georgi, he’s okay. Yakov didn’t take it too well, he’s been submitted to the hospital ever since they had the power up again. Nikolai too. But, they should better soon.” Mila distanced her eyes for a moment, blue growing a lone sadness. “Where did you go? We drove to your place to make sure you were all okay, but you weren’t there! None of you! Where have you been the past nine months, Viktor?!”

His heart sank to the sudden outburst. Was everyone going to be like this? He hoped not, he really, really hoped not. Maybe, they would come to an understanding and not ask anything? So far, reporters hadn’t been seen, possibly too early for them to chase everything. The grip on his coat tightened and he blinked to the realization of his drifting.  
“Sorry, sorry. I’ll explain soon.”

The young adult simply nodded in understanding. She had also shared that pain, and suffering of Russian in ruins. It was distracting and difficult to comprehend all what they’d missed on the past nine months.

“Is everything alright?” A high-pitched female tone erupted, belonging to the petite flight attendant Viktor had seen earlier.

“Yes. Everything is fine, thank you.” Viktor prompted, expressing a tight smile.

The blonde’s cheeks dimpled. “Good to hear. Now, we’re about to land so quietly back to your seats, understood?”

Mila nodded again, before furrowing her brows the direction the attendant strode off in. “Bitch. Doesn’t know what hell we’ve been through. ‘Quietly back to your seats’ my ass.” The Russian sighed in her dismay, inhaling heavy and pursing her lips together. “I’m glad you’re all okay. See you when we land.”

“Yeah.” He replied, mind still lost within the shock of his hope and the distraction of what was about to unravel. He should be used to this, he’s a celebrity, right?

..

An overlooked, almost not familiar, intrusion of uproar annihilated the airport as Yuuri had exited the plane, hand in hand with his husband, through a crowded foyer to a spacious strip of gates and people. Lots of people. Anxiously loud cries and embraces, excited screaming, murmurs of loud conversations, items and baggage dropping to the ground. Everyone kept watch, eyes darting for a familiar face. Viktor already reunited himself with Mila on the plane. Now both the girl and Georgi were following behind the four, Yurio yelling over the bristling of people to them both, all heading their way to one of the less packed gates. Gate 32, hardly ever vacant, this occasion wouldn’t be enough for it either, Hasetsu was small. Viktor remembered clearly and noted it to Chris of where they’d meet. Hopefully, it had gotten across.

“27…28…29…30” Yurio counted each gate they’d pass. The closer he got to thirty-two the more his stomach twirled. Both from nerves and excitement. It had been nine months, nine months since they’d seen anyone. Even just a quick hug from the two older Russian’s they happened to bump into straight out the plane was relieving, comforting, a small encouragement. “31…32”. They were there.

Less bodies hovered, but it still felt cramped. All six kept an eye out for a tall blonde, or a tall light-brunette accompanied by a short-rounder brunette, or anyone, just anyone, any appearance that occurred familiar. They passed a corner entering another hall filled with fewer movement.

Further ahead just under the sign of ‘Gate 32’, a lean body – almost skinnier than Viktor remembered – wrapped within a grey coat and a darker shade of grey underneath, stood slanted against the edge of a chair. A blond head staring down at his phone rose his eyes for a second, then back to his phone, his brows furrowed and he threw his disbelief back up, assuring himself wasn’t seeing things and this was real. The green glistened behind a pair of round-glasses, brimming with tears. Picking up his weight the man staggered in his footing. Viktor picked up his own pace, Yuuri loosening his hand from the overwhelmed man. The two collided, tan arms wrapping the Russian’s, Viktor shoulders rocking to his cry.

Standing from afar, Yuuri knew this was the first of many tears to be shed. This was just the start of a very, long day.

“Old friend…” The Swiss man choked into Viktor’s neck, “nice to see you.”

“Yeah.” Viktor mumbled back removing himself from Chris.

“I don’t want to imagine the hell you’ve all been through. Yuuri, nice to see you well.” He sniffled, raising the sleeve of his coat to his tears. The green narrowed to the girl standing behind Yuuri, grey eyes soft to the man’s reaction. “Now, haven’t seen you in a while, darling.” He slurred, eye winking to Natalya.

She gave a brief smile in return. He was only trying to brighten the mood. Although, she did miss everyone. They were nice people, Viktor had surrounded himself with good, decent, people and she was thankful for that.

They all blethered over each others voices for a few minutes, Chris informing on who was coming and how traffic was insane outside, and how he planned to arrive early. He’d made the right decision. Mila explaininf how she spent the nine months with Georgi, Yakov, Nikolai and Lilia up at hers, how she spared food, kept warm. She had noticed people getting ill, but never occurred to her the possibility of radiation. Viktor called Georgi to the side, gently explaining to the Russian about his family, pulling the crying man into a hug from his shock and assuring him he was okay. The four had decided not to mention much about the government, or the radiation, really anything that happened within the first ten days. It was only restricted to themselves, and Georgi, suggested by Viktor himself.

A shuffle of footsteps around the corner silenced the group, a bark of a very determined female cooed from a distance, “Where is he?! Yuuri Katsuki! You better be okay, otherwise I will kick your ass! Do you hear me?!”

Yuuri shrieked within his skin. Of course, Minako.

A light shade of coffee-hair bounced as a tall female in a beige coat slid pass the corner, a short-tanned Thai male seconded her slide a moment after, cap slipping from his head in the process. “Hey! Yuuri, hey!!”

Tears surfaced at the sight of the two, arms jumping at his body tugging him into a cramped hug of three. Minako jolted his body afar, eyes darting to his glasses. “What did you do to your glasses! They were expensive, ya know?!” She laughed abruptly to herself, before sighing and tightening the hug. “I’m just glad you’re okay, that you’re all okay.”

Viktor huffed to the wracking nerve in his body. Why was he still so nervous? Everything was okay now. Anyone would have thought a suffering of that, nine months would have given time to overcome it. But, if Viktor was honest with himself, he was sure he’d never get over it. Chris noticed his unease and nudged at his elbow. He smiled towards his close friend. “I’m okay, this is all just weird. Not used to it.”

The pair of lime-green noticed the blue eyes wearied and not meeting his soft smile. “I wouldn’t blame you.” He said, keeping his tone low in comfort. Spinning in his heels, Chris turned to the quite two aside, Yurio head scanning the airport like his life was on the line, Natalya standing beside twiddling her thumbs. The man walked up to the girl, patted her head, tucked a finger beneath her fringe.  
“What have you been doing these past eight years? Enlighten me.”

Natalya hummed a chuckle to herself. “Well, continued running errands, dated an arsehole, came back and visited Viktor, left mother and father, became a teacher. That’s really all, then everything collapsed and I had Yuuri knocking on my door. Is that good enough?” She chimed.

The man let out a small laughter, nodding in satisfaction. Cocking an eyebrow and leaning close to the girl’s ear whispering “tell me about this arsehole.”

Another faint cry drifted the two from their conversation, a short female with a familiar warmth to her face and a man in tow joined the others in Yuuri’s hold. Viktor turned in a spark of curiosity to the call of his name. Natalya watched as her brother’s face relaxed with ease greeting the two. Soon, she came to realize that they were Yuuri’s parents and Viktor looked happy embedded within their company. The woman brushed his tears away and fluffed at his hair, pet him down in alarm for any concerns. They all were. Nothing like Natalya’s family ever did. She understood why he never came back and she felt okay with the reasoning. Personally, she wouldn’t leave herself. He is given all the loving and embrace he never got as a child, why would someone not accept that into their life. Why would you want to go back? Natalya couldn’t answer her own question, she seemed stuck herself just watching it.

“Natalya! Get over here!”

The girl pardoned Chris and awkwardly shuffled to her brother’s side holding a nervous smile. The kind of smile everyone wore when they greet someone.

Viktor flicked an eyebrow at the girl beneath his arm. “Relax, she won’t bite.”  
“Hiroko this is my sister, Natalya.” He hummed.

“Ohhhh” The female cupped both hands to her mouth in excitement, “I can see the resemblance!”

Natalya’s felt the heat flush her cheeks. Slamming a brick to her embarrassment she ruffled a hand from her pocket, gently stretching it to the woman “Hi, nice to…” A safe smell be-riddled her audacity as the lady pulled Natalya into her arms “…meet you.”

Viktor chuckled behind as the short female wrapped herself around Natalya, the girl stuttering in her words. Yuuri appeared aside as Natalya replaced her footing next to her brother’s. Tilting his head to the stunned pair of brown eyes darting between the two Russians, Yuuri anxiously pondered a thought. “Mom, where’s everyone else? Yuuko? Mari?”

The woman jumped in her stare. “Oh. Right! They’re meeting us at lunch!”

“Lunch? But it’s like three in the afternoon.”

Minako snorted, “You’re telling me, that, you, are rejecting a pork cutlet?”

Well, yes. He was. Yuuri hadn’t lived with a proper diet in his system for the past nine months. None of them had. To be honest with himself, he didn’t believe he remembered the taste.

The group began to move again slowly in target for the exit. Natalya noticed Yurio’s hesitation calling out the young blond.  
“Yura, is everything okay?”

The young adult hissed, grip tightening on the backpack slung around his shoulder. “H-hang on a second. Just, give me a minute, all right!”

The girl paused in her actions, Viktor caught on slightly standing aside. “Yurio-“

“No. He should be here.”

“I know, I know. We’ll contact him okay?”

“No, I want him here, Viktor.” Yurio choked a dwell of emotion in the back of his throat, turning his sorrow to the older Russian. “I want him here.”

Viktor bit down the anxiety on the flesh of his tongue. He knew that. But they, they just, they didn’t have time. No, it wasn’t even time. They had all the time in the world. “Yurio. They want us to go.”

“Chris said!!”

By now, everyone had turned in their tracks, eyes confused towards the three. Chris emerged from the group meeting with the panicked aqua-green glare.  
"Has he not arrived yet?”

The blond shook his head towards the green of concern. Chris nodded understandably, revealing his phone from his coat. “I’ll text him.”

Natalya staggered in her footing. “No need for that.” She mumbled, as heavy footsteps came to a slow from the direction Yurio was lost in, followed by a scatter of pants and puffs. The man wiped sweat from his brow, pointing an arm to the direction he ran from. “I-I’m sorry, th-the traffic is horrible.”

Tears pricked the blond’s eyes. He’d spent the past twenty minutes watching everyone reunite, cry and laugh, while he was just waiting for one. His feet sprung to a slow run dropping the bag from his shoulder, clashing into the beaten man. Throwing his arms around the black of his scarf as another pair picked up his weight supporting him in the hustle, Yurio wrapped his legs around the body, not wanting to let go no matter how clingy he looked or felt.

Natalya’s eyes widened to the confused sight before her. She was downright shocked to the bone when her brother – unnoticed – appeared at her front door engaged, but now, this. Yurio’s friend, Otabek Altin, was a guy most presumably a few years older than the kid himself, dressed in black and leather. Interesting.

Viktor shrugged his shoulders in reply to the girl’s questionings and joined the others in their start to the baggage lobby.

………

A ding of a bell rung as Yuuri entered the restaurant. As their current occasion, Hiroko had closed the hot spring for the day. Last second he decided to swing his body aside and hold the door ajar as the others shortly passed through, Yuuko squealed first followed by three voices simultaneously barking in amusement. Yuuri closed the door behind joining the ruckus. Luckily, they were the only ones in the restaurant. The eighteen of them. He shuffled his way through the bodies, hugging his weight with Takeshi, a light hug from Mari, the triplets now eight questioning at his chest, and finally the bounce from Yuuko.

“Yuuri, oh my god! So good to know you’re okay! We were all so worried!” The girl held a genuine smile, she always had. And still in style of wearing sportswear, body wrapped with a white running jacket and sport leggings with a pair of pink track sneakers.

“Missed you too.” He replied. It was either that or ‘I’m sure you were worried’ and Yuuri hated it. He felt he couldn’t be honest with how he didn’t know how to answer. What were they supposed to say? His own parents even, just, everything felt weird. Unreal. The worry of everyone’s reaction from how he felt truly, what hell they all suffered. It wasn’t easy.

Three tables we peacefully joined together by the help of the waiters. Yuuko explained how busy everywhere else seemed to be, and the staff were more than happy to accept their crowded bunch.

Viktor leaned a breath away to Yuuri’s ear eyes peering over his shoulder to the menu. “Can we share? It just, everything, all the meals feel huge."

Yuuri sucked on the bottom of his lip, Viktor was right. Nothing felt like a meal to them. More a meal for four. Their appetites didn’t carry the strive they used to. “Yeah. We can do that. Katsudon?”

“Yes please.”  
“Natalya, what are your thoughts?”

Viktor had moved from Yuuri’s ear now to his left, whispering to the girl sitting beside. She shrugged within her discomfort of not knowing half of the people sitting across from her, or having no sense of half the menu. “I’m not eating, I ate on the plane.”

The Russian male flicked a brow, Natalya nodded back in reassurance that she was sure.

A young waiter trotted his way around collecting notes of everyone’s orders. Yurio had thought the same and shared a meal with Otabek. Mila and Georgi following in similar tracks. Nobody questioned the four, but chortles of conversation stifled. The waiter finally stepped close to the couple greeting them with the usual thank of being okay, then asking their wishes. Yuuri spoke for both, Viktor spoke a glass for Natalya. The young employee smiled and disappeared to the light of the kitchen.

Minako cleared her throat in threat of the couple. Well, all of them. “What is up with all of you? This isn’t something you would do? Yuuri? Viktor, you would scoff that down in a heartbeat.”

A silent sadness trickled the atmosphere. Chris caught on to their dark quiet and stirred his weight against the floor. “I think in their own way, that’s all their stomachs can handle at the moment, Minako.”

“Right.” The brunette twirled a strand of hair to brush off the awkwardness. Drinks were placed around the table. Small mutters came from the triplets as the silence carried. Minako clucked her tongue to a sudden thought “Do you guys even know what happened?”

A nerve in Viktor spiked. He didn’t want any part in this conversation. If anything brought up of his parents. He did not want in. He raised the glass of water to his lips in avoidance, throat tickling to the ice.

Yuuri removed his glasses rubbing a finger to his eyes. “No, we’ve had nothing. No news. Just a missile launch.” He lied. He knew, Viktor, Yurio too, possibly Natalya. The blond snorted to his spoken untruth. All eyes rolled to Yurio then back to Minako.

“Well, the day it happened it was everywhere, all over the news for days. But nothing was said. Putin was in hiding. Then a month after, he confirmed it was an attack from to this day no one quite knows where from. It’s restricted. Putin made the call to back off and let Russia recover-“

The alarm of Viktor choking on his drink interrupted the female from her speech.

“H-he did that??” He spurted, sleeve wiping across his lips.

(Authors side note; Let’s be honest here. Putin in all hell would not simply just ‘back off’. He would go ballistic.)

Minako sighed to the man’s surprise. “We all thought the same. But, with that assumption…we all…um…didn’t know what to expect of the outcome.”

Chris cut in to the girl’s emotions from the far end of the table. “We had slight hope that you would be alive, is what she was trying to say…none of us have eaten or slept properly. Little Phichit moved here to help with your parents, Yuuri. Everyone was in fear of the long wait. And, my friend, Viktor, can I tell you how glad I was to receive that text.”

Viktor held a storm in his eyes. Kind of, felt like, everything related back to his family, his bloodline. Almost like everything was his fault. “I’m sure you were.”

Yuuri noticed the squeak in his husband’s voice as the words chokingly rolled off his tongue, placing his hand over his under the table in comfort.

The Swiss man huffed to the coldness from his friend before parting his lips once again. “I was. Even now, you’re all so quiet and talk to little. It’s worrying.” The green met the blue drowning in misery.

Viktor swallowed the pain that taunted him. “I know. This is all just, weird.”

Chis kept eyes on the man for a moment, sadly, he'd known the Russian for so long he'd now became an easy read. Viktor was hurting. “I know. I’m sure it is.”

Mari picked up her glass swung it in circular motions, ice clinging around the edges. “What arseholes. The government. What was there to hide?”

Viktor hissed under his breath to the low feminine voice. A thud to his leg came from his left.

“Maybe they had their reasons?” Yuuko suggested.

Takeshi groaned after Yuuko, “Well they should have warned people about what was going on. Dickheads, if you ask me.”

Minako leaned forwards hand flicking to the man. “I agree. Everyone had people like Yuuri to worry about, you can’t just hide that from people, families, communities.”

The Thai boy slammed a fist to the table. “Yeah! They shouldn’t have treated us like shit!”

A commotion began across the table, everyone rioting about the government. Government this, should have done that, the injustice of this, the abuse of that. Viktor- Viktor couldn’t listen to it. His eyes singed to the agony of his family name. He couldn’t– they were a part of it. His head began to boil to the frustration, turning his face away from the sound. Yuuri met his gaze.  
“Hey, if you want to step outside you can-“

Viktor cut him off. Not Yuuri too. He didn’t want Yuuri to get on his nerves also. “I can handle it.” He slurred. The glisten of hazel staring down at him, Yuuri knew it was bullshit, this was all too straining. All of it. Suffocating.

“Oi! Viktor!”  
It was Axel.

“Girls, I said no.” Yuuko had her eyes bulging towards the three, but they argued against revisiting their attention to Viktor. The table hushed to the eruption. “How come you never told us you had a sister, huh?!”

All eyes shifted to Natalya. Then to Viktor. Yuuri tightened his grip on Viktor’s hand, he knew this was only going to make things worse. Viktor’s grip stayed tender and loose, to the point it reached cold.

“What about a brother?! Or mom and dad?! You never say anything! I bet Yuuri doesn’t even know!” Lutz added.

Yuuko twisted in her weight hesitant towards the three. “You girls! I swear to god!! I’m so sorry, Viktor.”

The Russian stared blankly to the wooden design of the table. It was all too overwhelming. The silence, the eyes on him, the need for answers, the hate, everything. His vision blurred and his eyes burned with an empty sorrow. He needed space. “No…” Viktor stood up, “I’m sorry. I can’t do this.” Slowly turning away from the confusion pressing a sleeve to his eyes, heavy steps towards the male facility.

Yuuri joined in his standing, springing to his feet in immediate reflex. Natalya tugged his weight back down as she eased her own two feet. “I’ll handle this, you stay.”

The white-tiled room echoed as Natalya burst the door ajar.

Viktor leaned over the sink ahead, knuckles white on each side, face in the shadow of his fringe. “You can’t be in here, Natalya.”

Crossing her arms, she pressed her back against the wall beside the door. “Damn right I can. You need help.”

He gritted his teeth to the stubbornness. All of them had it. They were all stubborn. His bloodline. Every single one. Kostya, Natalya, his mother and- “Arghhh! I can’t listen to them, Natalya. Any of them, they– they don’t get it!”

Her hand flinched to the angered scream. She kept her stand. “I know.” She said keeping her voice low in encouragement to keep his own tone down.

“I know you know!” He retaliated slamming a hand against the sink.

Shifting her front forwards Natalya took slow steps towards her brother, cupping a hand to his cheek, other arm wrapping behind his back and pulling his heavy weight into a hug. “You need to calm down.”

Viktor rested his chin to the girl’s head. “They don’t– they don’t get it. They weren’t there, they don’t know what they’re like, they don’t understand what they’re capable of. What if, what if they come here…what if they find us, find me.”

Natalya balled her hand into a fist, rubbing in circular motions to his back. He was driving himself over the edge. “Shush. Listen to yourself, Viktor.”

He let out a small whimper to the girl’s hair beneath. “But they could.”

The door swung open and slammed behind a familiar shuffle of steps. “They won’t.” Yuuri said, tone firm, voice clear. “Natalya, you can leave.”

She turned to the voice, eyes pleading to stay. “Yuuri…”

“Leave.”  


The girl nodded removing herself from her brother. If someone could snap Viktor to reality, it would be Yuuri. Quickly exiting and making her way back to the others riddled in silence. The man she had met earlier presumably known as Georgi was whispering close to the red-head beside, talking in Russian. She balanced her weight to the floor discreetly listening to the two. 

Yuuri threw his hands into the pockets of his coat, eyes cold on Viktor. “Are you alright?”

“No.”

“I noticed.”

Viktor furrowed his brow to the stern voice targeting him. He seemed angry. “Why are you mad?”

“I’m not. I’m worried.”

“You seem mad.” Defiantly mad. Yuuri may not have noticed but he had this aura whenever pissed. Similar to the one fuming around him, at this very second.

Hazel eyes flicked to the tiled floor then grew an angry glare to Viktor. Mad. Yuuri was so mad. He shuffled in his stance before speaking again in the same tone. Quiet and still. “Viktor. I am going to say this once. The people out there on that very table are your family. They may not be blood but they are family. Your fucking family. I am your family. Me. You have us. Not them.”

Viktor fluttered his eyelashes unsure of what to say. “I know, I know, I know that.”

Yuuri lifted his chin noticing the man’s distress. “No, you obviously don’t fucking know. They will do anything for you. Celebrity or not.”

Viktor knew he was right. And he understood what Yuuri meant. But he still felt scared, haunted, like the ice was about to break beneath him, there just had to be another step taken for him to collapse.

“He isn’t your family. I am. I would never do that. Neither will they.” Yuuri continued as the Viktor stayed silent.

The persisted silence stung. His heart most. Viktor didn’t know what to say. He understood exactly what Yuuri was pointing at, he was pointing at a direction. And he appreciated that. But it didn’t hide the truth. It wasn’t helping. He flung his arms around in the air pointlessly to his frustration. “Arghh!! You don’t get it, Yuuri. You don’t get how I feel!”

Yuuri strode forwards, finger to Viktor’s face. “I do though, Viktor! You feel like shit! Abandoned! A reject! You feel stuck! But, you’re not! You just don’t allow yourself to see that! I can. I can see that, I can see you. Why can’t you see me, see us?”

Viktor shuffled back slightly in Yuuri’s confrontation. He pursed both lips together, holding back his guilt. “I want to, Yuuri. I do.”

“I know you do. And I know you can.” Stepping closer, Yuuri rubbed both cheeks within the soft of his palms. The blue of his eyes lost and distant. Viktor had a whole in his heart, something not a lot of things could replace, Yuuri could tell from the start. Ever since he got to know Viktor. The dark silences were those exact moments. Yuuri just had to find a key to open the door. He pulled the shimmering emotion closer with those thoughts on mind. “I know Viktor Nikiforov-Katsuki, and he isn’t this much of a baby.”

Viktor buried his face into the palm of Yuuri’s hand, a safe haven. “He really is.”

Yuuri removed his hand from the man’s face and lifted his weight up as he connected the two. Lips on lips. Yuuri’s on Viktor’s. Two emotions tied into one. He parted the tight closure with a short breath. “But, he’s not.”

“I wish I could agree.” Viktor whispered back, heated breath brushing Yuuri’s nose. A glisten of strive reflected the pair of hazel and within seconds Yuuri had smacked his lips to Viktor’s again, hungry but almost soft. Viktor’s knees fell weak to the sudden tingle through every nerve stumbling back against the wall. Yuuri twisted his fingers to the fabric of the man’s coat, tugging him every inch closer. He did not want to be further away then he already felt, not now. Viktor read the man’s intrigued pull slipping a hand to the back of his head, fingers caressing with the silk of his roots.

Yuuri opened his lips slightly to tickle of Viktor’s tongue, allowing his partner to soften the kiss, deepening the emotion. A trickle of urge clouded Viktor’s head as he trailed a hand up Yuuri’s front, embracing the tender of his skin. Yuuri slipped a whimper as the man tweaked gently at his nipple. He pulled back in remembrance of their exposure, tracing his own hand to the wrist under his sweater, interwinding their fingers and tugging their hands to their side. “No, not here. I know you’re upset. But, not here.” Yuuri shared a steamed hum with the Russian before linking his swollen lips to his again, Viktor didn’t care, he kissed back, sucking on the bottom of Yuuri’s lip hooking an arm around his waist-

The kiss drew short as a muffled cough came from the door. Yuuri threw his head to the man’s chest in hiding of his embarrassment. Viktor huffed a chuckle. A chuckle Yuuri recognised. The one where Viktor would roll his eyes shortly after. It was Chris. He only did that with Chris. Had to be Chris. Like it had been once before. Although, not in the male toilets against the wall. More like, in Chris’ spare bedroom both completely naked, on the floor. Yep. Definitely Chris.

“’No, please not here’ he whispers. That was, something.” The Swiss voice chortled from behind. “Care to join us for lunch? And after that I expect an explanation.”

Viktor raised a brow. The kissing he got. The exiting the table too. What was there that needing explaining? “An explanation?” He questioned to his confusion.

A low blow came from the blond’s lips. “Some forget I have known you for how long? I understand Russian when spoken at the table.” Chris curved his lips in a worried smile then disappeared behind the door.

“Georgi.” Viktor tsked. He pressed his cheek to the Japanese’s head breathing above his ear. “Thank you.”

Yuuri slid a hand along the man’s jaw, mellow kisses following his trail. A slow and sweet last tug to his lips to finish. “Well, things are different now. We’re married and I struggle to go a day without touching some part of you.” Yuuri smirked as he removed himself from being tangled within Viktor’s coat walking to the sink and turning the tap. “Do you think he was talking to Mila? Or Natalya?” He splashed his face with a handful of cold water to refresh himself.

Viktor nodded in the reflection of the mirror rubbing his hand to his face.

“You okay?”

“Yeah. Just want to sleep. Peacefully. In quiet. And to wake up and know everything is going to be alright.” He lied, partially. More to the fact to hide his blushing from the words his husband had imprinted in his head.

Yuuri raised himself from the dripping, turning the tap to his right and locking eyes with the mirrored blue. “And it will be.”

..

A loud laughter comforted Yuuri as he made his way back to the table first, Viktor still washing up in the bathroom. The laughter shortened with his presence. The triplets jumping instinctively. “Is he okay? We didn’t mean anything!”

“He’s fine.” Yuuri implied as he eased his weight to the floor.

“Oh, he’s defiantly fine.” Chris teased afar shoving a spoonful of food into his mouth.

Natalya caught on the comment first, snorting into her drink.

“Like I said, he’s fine.” Yuuri added.

“I am fine. And girls, don’t apologize for hitting a weak spot. Just learn not to do it again, clear?” Viktor accompanied, brushing a hand through Yuuri’s hair as he sat beside.

“Crystal!” The three voices squeaked.

Clangs of forks and knives tapping porcelain surfaces, mouthfuls of food were muffled and minor whispers of short conversations between a couple people filled the silence. Minako cleared her throat, forking pointing to Viktor across. “So, whatever happened to that poodle of yours?”

Mari placed her own cutlery to the side of her plate, joining the investigation. “Yeah, don’t you usually bring Makka with you everywhere?”

“Viktor, where is Makkachin?” Mila controverted.

The Russian shrugged. “Lost him. He took off before the missile hit. Every dog did.”

A few coughed and choked on their food to the disbelief. Takeshi slammed a fist to his chest in support of his sudden gag. “You’re kidding?”

“Yurio’s cat too.” Viktor mentioned as a plus to assure the table that was no joke.

Otabek turned to the blond pausing in his bite from the eyes suddenly focused on him. Yurio simply nodded and continued his snag on the slice of pork.

“Aw, well that’s too bad. There’s a pet store just down the road, I’m sure it’s still open.”

Yuuri widened his eyes in direct to his mom, nose twitching. Really? Like, really?! After everything that just went down.

The woman fiddled with her glasses in notice of her son's glare. “What? I’m just trying to help, dear.”

A masculine arm smacked a 10,000 note on the table, Takeshi sliding it towards the couple. “I say go for it.”

Toshiya exposed his wallet and repeated the same move. “Do it, lads. For the poodle.”

Yuuri now turning his frown toward his dad. Viktor staring blankly at the money in silence...did that not say anything?!

“I would give, but I only have my card.” Mari chirped. She stood pulling a cigarette from her pocket. “Be back.” And she removed herself.

Slowly and quietly everyone around the table swiped in at least 10,000 yen, Chris 20,000, triplets throwing in 500 yen each. Yuuri watched the money-stack move across the table then back to them. Viktor still lost within words, spacing into the pile of notes and three coins. Equal to 111,500 yen in total. More than enough.

Viktor reached under the table, fingers nipping at Yuuri’s hand. Yuuri read that as a needed comfort. The reach out for help. He didn’t want to do this alone. “You don’t have to do this if you don’t want, Viktor. No one will make you.”

The Russian shook his head in disagreement, eyes watered to the offered money. “N-no, I want, I want to do this. I do.”

“Alright, Viktor!” Takeshi shouted, pounding an arm to the air. Yuuko giggled to his encouragement. Shortly after the mother teasing the grown man about his childish behaviour everyone tailed their own laughter, lightening the mood. Even Viktor let himself a faint snicker.

The entire table wished the couple good luck as they left the restaurant early, hand in hand to the nearest pet store.

..

The second ding of bell rung for Yuuri’s day. Every shop, restaurant, some market stalls on weekend mornings had them even. Hasetsu was small. Few customers gave the staff a chance to wander around the back of their stores, the bell was just a warning people had entered. But this shop, this pet store, Yuuri knew all too well. They came here often buying pet food and sometimes new toys. The old man who sat at the counter was familiar with their faces, and thankfully, his granddaughter was a fan of the couple’s skating. Posters were stuck upon all walls; of the couple skating, paired and singled photo-shoots, Yurio even floated upon some. Poodle bobble-heads were stacked within a box on the front desk. Collar designs were sold, some carried a similar design to Yuuri’s old phone case. The blue with multiple printed Makkachins.

Yuuri stood frozen as he remembered the store. Viktor had already walked ahead, hand reached into the glassed box in centre shop patting heads of curls. The familiar hobble of the old man and his walking stick entered through the back, waving politely to both. Yuuri joined Viktor’s side as the man cooed over to each puppy rolling into his palm.

“There’s so many.”

“They’re all so cute, too!” Yuuri laughed to a tickle of a brown head licking across his knuckles. “How did you pick Makkachin?”

Viktor removed his hand from the scampers and rested it against the glass edge. “I didn’t…he found me.”

Yuuri furrowed his brows behind his glasses. He never heard this. Viktor noticed his puzzled stare and smiled back to the squeaked barks. “He found me. Georgi and I were having a snowball fight out front of the local ice rink and the next thing I know I had a puppy jumping at the back of my knees, knocking me down. He found me, Yuuri.”

Viktor kept his gaze towards the puppies, distracting his own emotions welling up inside with small balls of chocolate curls skidding around. One ran forth pouncing on top of another, rolling and kicking at each other with the pad of their paws.

A quiet sneeze came from the far corner of the glassed-box. Yuuri noticed as swiveled his weight, following the edge gaining closure to the huddled pup. It was smaller than the rest, and a little darker. In a way, it reminded him of himself, hiding away from all the attention.

A hand caved around the small waist of the poodle, lifting it up from the box.

Yuuri observed it’s unease with its faint yip and wiggle in his grip to the sudden movement. “Viktor, you can’t just-“

“Pop its bubble?” He cut in, holding the canine close to his face. Leaning forwards, with a twitch of its nose as a quick sniffle then a lick to Viktor’s cheek the puppy soon relaxed and snuggled into the man’s chest. “I did the same with you. No, actually. You did that with me, if I remember correctly because you can’t.”

Yuuri’s jaw fell and burst a laughter. He was glad Viktor had found a sense of humour for this moment. His sight fuzzed with awe. Viktor held a smile he hadn’t seen in a long time and his eyes glistened with a new brightness. Over the months his blue gradually lightened, no longer a dull sadness. It was only times when he’d wake up crying, sometimes screaming to a nightmare and his eyes filled a hollow misery. But, then again, those scenarios hadn’t occurred the past three months either.

“Yuuri, what’s a name in Japanese that means happy times…or…good times…or…something?” Viktor asked eyes still glued to the puppy, tail wagging happily in his hands.

“Uh…Yuki? Means ‘happiness’, or ‘snow’ depends how you…yeah…wait.” He stuttered within his hesitation of his knowledge. Viktor seemed joyful with the idea anyway, already tampering with the word in small whispers.

“Yuki…Yuki…I like it.” Viktor stretched his arms, puppy dangling, nipping lightly to his thumb tickling the fur. “How about you, young lady? Little Yuki?”

Viktor pulled the small fur coat close to his chest again, fingers scratching behind her ears. Yuki nuzzled into his arm foot kicking in reflex to the itch. Yuuri joined the man in his chuckle towards the puppy both giggling to each other with cheesy grins, in hold of their new responsibility. Practically their new child. Or at least, a step closer to adopting one.

**End**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I STILL CANNOT BELIEVE WE CAME THIS FAR! HOLY SHIT. CONGRATULATIONS FOR JOINING ME ON THIS TRAIN-WRECK ASFGHDVHJK ILY <33 AS MUCH AS THIS HAS TO END I AM GOING TO MISS IT A LOT, LIKE A LOT A LOT. *wipes tear* The amount of times I may have cried while writing this fic..heh..there has been some harsh times. Thank you again, all. 
> 
> I added an extra chapter, as to a thank you and a low key explanation of how this fanfic somewhat came to mind..so it is not another chapter or epilogue:( lil sad. But, it is just a large thank you, don't read if you don't wish...
> 
> Who knows, I may have some more ideas up my sleeve and continue writing other fanfics in the future, ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯


	15. Adios

Hi hi,

So, just wanted to give a big thank to everyone who accompanied me on this roller coaster..  
Even with my bitch ass going hiatus, and having a writer's block or two. I cannot thank you guys enough. 

And a small congratulations to the group of idiots who managed to group call me while writing and supporting my ass, bless you four kiddos. That small encouragement was needed from y'all.  
But, to those who read this agonizing piece of angst and supported me throughout, inspiring to write more with each comment and dm..SFHBAFAUSCBH LET ME REMIND YOU HOW HEARTLESS I AM. I HARDLY SHOW EMOTION. BUT SOMEHOW, ALL OF YOU BROUGHT EMOTION TO ME. ALL. I CANNOT EXPLAIN. YOU JUST DID. AND I THANK YOU.

If you want to know how this trickled into a world of a story line, well..I read the novel 'A Sky So Heavy' in school a year and a half ago ? Anyway, I was sitting in the car on some road trip and my mates had sprouted a conversation about war etc. My ass was being a weaboo little bitch and thinking about a protective Viktor for a war hell scenery and forcing Yuuri to go inside (aka resulting in the jet scene; chapter 2) and then everything kind of slowly evolved over the next few days.

The novel itself, I didn't follow it's plot at all. The overall plow it very slow throughout the entire novel and the ending comes out of nowhere and leaves you on a branch of no answers to what happened.  
It follows a teenager and his brother and their friends in the same situation, set in Australia. The teenager has a mum, who abandoned them as children to continue her work with the government. The first three quarters of the novel are quite slow and dismal, a timeline of three-four months of the teenagers doing nothing. They eventually head to the city in hunt for his mum. When they find her, she explains she can only require help for him and his brother but not his friends, they all leave town to a so called 'safe zone' and the book ends with them driving in the distance. 

The radiation was there, barely, as one of his friends 'never came back'. 70% of information was seen in the novel; the snow, the sky, the extra layers of clothing, the government systems and the radiation. But, the extreme of the radiation and how it effected them was not related to the novel at all. All from the twisted thoughts of my head. Lewl. Same with the 'cure' that was just bullshit also. Good bullshit. But bullshit. And everything else that followed the plot of the fic was originally thought from me, rather than the novel.

I laugh because...I re-borrowed the book from the school library to use as support for the fic, but I did so after chapter 4 and never actually needed it..I had it beside me when writing but never touched it..welp, oh well.

Once again, huge absolute thank you to everybody, ily all <3

Until next time ;)

**Author's Note:**

> Ohoho hold in there, because I can tell you...there is gonna be some train wrecks coming. heh. Fuk.
> 
> Ig is @doesjuminisgay if you wish to keep yourself updated, cos I'll be there :)


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